


One of Mine

by violetwolfraven



Series: Newsies Reincarnation AU [2]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Jack Kelly, Canon Era, M/M, Modern AU, Nightmares, PTSD, Reincarnation AU, So much angst, They all die, background belmerttons, background ikeshot, background jomike, background newsbians, background redfinch, background ships, background smallsper, background sprace, background spromeo, but don’t worry they all come back, jack is Stressed, with reincarnation there can be both lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetwolfraven/pseuds/violetwolfraven
Summary: Jack Kelly has been taking care of his friends, or, trying to, since he was a child. He’s always had this drive to protect these specific kids, even just meeting them for the first time. From the first second he met each one, it was just...‘This person. This one is one of mine.’Which is why it’s so strange that he doesn’t feel the need to protect a certain new kid, but wants to keep him close, anyway.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly
Series: Newsies Reincarnation AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908253
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is a good big brother, but he really needs to think about his own feelings once in a while.

Jack woke up having to try to keep his panic quiet, the way he did all too often. He shared a room with his little brother, after all, and he didn’t want to wake Crutchie up.

”Jack?”

Shit. Not waking Crutchie was going great.

Jack managed to school his features a little as he sat up, stretching and looking over at the other side of the room, where one of his three younger brothers slept.

Crutchie was already sitting up, looking fully awake and a little worried, fidgeting a bit with the strip of rainbow duct tape Romeo had insisted on wrapping around the side of his crutch.

Little brothers could be... _so_ weird sometimes.

“What’s up, Crutchie?”

Crutchie glared at him and Jack sighed. He should have known better than to think his oldest little brother would take his bullshit.

”What was it this time?” he asked.

”Nothin’ serious.”

” _Jack_.”

Jack sighed, “It’s nothin’, Crutchie.”

In reality, it had been a nightmare of watching Sniper, one of his friends, get shot in the head.

He’d seen his friends die before in dreams. It probably wasn’t a good thing that Jack had seen so much shit that he could brush off things like an extremely graphic nightmare of one of his friends dying, but it certainly was useful at times.

Crutchie definitely didn’t believe him, but had the decency not to push too hard. Instead, he stood up, walking across the room to grab Jack’s sketchbook and colored pencils from the desk. He tossed them over onto Jack’s bed before closing their door and turning on the light.

They slept with the door open because... well, neither of them did well with dark, enclosed spaces. And nightlights only helped so much.

And it made it easier for Jack to hear if one of his other two little brothers was waking up from a nightmare. He couldn’t catch all of them, of course, but he liked to try to protect Race, Romeo, and Crutchie from the monsters in their heads when he could. Or, at least, try to.

Too bad he couldn’t chase away the monsters in his own.

Ah, well. Whatever. He could draw them out instead.

”So, what’s the picture in your head today?” Crutchie asked, sitting down on Jack’s bed.

“Not sure yet.”

Jack didn’t particularly feel like drawing Sniper with her brains blown out, so he drew a landscape instead.

Crutchie watched over his shoulder as slowly but surely, white, snow-covered mountains took shape, in the background over a field of dark red poppies, a pink sunrise over them. It wasn’t what it would be if Jack felt like putting _real_ effort into it, but it looked pretty good, anyway.

”So, where is that?”

Jack smiled a little. He knew Crutchie was just trying to distract him, but he didn’t care that much. After all, he’d made up plenty of stories on mornings like this about places he drew or painted when he couldn’t sleep.

”It’s a field in New Mexico,” he said, “Few miles outside Santa Fe. Cowboys used to pull poppyseeds from it to use as painkillers and sleepin’ drugs.”

”Did cowboys use poppyseeds?” Crutchie asked.

Jack shrugged, “Here, they did. And they’d take their injured friends up to the mountains to use the snow, too. Ya know, like an ice pack.”

”And does your magical place of cowboy healin’ have a name?”

Jack thought about it for a second, “Um... Valley Duane.”

”Why?”

”I dunno. Not everythin’ needs a reason, Crutch.”

”Fair.”

Crutchie was silent for a second before standing up.

”I’m gonna go check on Race and Romeo.”

That made Jack think Crutchie had probably had a nightmare, too, but he decided not to ask. Pushing someone to talk about something they clearly didn’t want to talk about never ended well.

Jack had finished up his drawing by the time his little brother came back into their room, and honestly... he was pretty proud of it.

”Race and Ro are fine,” he reported, “Still sleepin’.”

”Figured ya would’ve shouted if they weren’t.”

”Yeah...” Crutchie sighed, “Jack, are we ever gonna talk about this? ‘Bout your nightmares? Race and Ro don’t even know ya _have_ them.”

“Depends. You wanna talk about yours?”

Crutchie stiffened, and as much as Jack didn’t like pulling a dirty card like that, he knew he’d won.

”Well,” he said, putting away his colored pencils, “I guess since we’re up, we might as well help Mom with breakfast.”

”Jack, it’s like 5:00 AM. Mom’s not even awake, and won’t be for another hour.”

”Then we can get it started. It’ll be a nice surprise.”

Crutchie shrugged, standing back up, “Sure, I guess. Not like we got anythin’ better to do than cook at 5:00 AM.”

”Exactly! Let’s do it!”

Not wanting to wake anyone else up, they didn’t talk much as they started on making breakfast. This was fairly routine for them, anyway. Special occasions like the first day of school always had the same breakfast, and Jack and Crutchie knew how to make it without really communicating, so Jack let his thoughts wander.

He knew it was weird that he always woke up at the asscrack of dawn—sometimes even before—nightmare or no nightmare, and to be honest, that didn’t even make the top ten of weird things about Jack Kelly.

Or, at least, not the top three. The ‘waking up at dawn’ thing was kind of the same level of weird as a lot of the other weird things about him.

The weirdest thing about Jack was probably his tendency to... well, to _adopt_ certain classmates of his.

It wasn’t all of them. Sure, Jack was _friendly_ with pretty much everyone, but certain classmates, he had an urge to befriend the second he saw them. Somehow, even not knowing these kids or anything about them, he had an instinct to protect them.

Conveniently, these usually ended up being the kids who needed him most, whether that meant something as simple as them needing a little attention, coming from homes with not enough love to go around, or something... more complicated.

What was more complicated? More complicated was Sniper and her mom needing a place to crash for a couple days while running from Sniper’s psycho of a father. Or Jojo damn near killing himself when he figured out he was gay because of his super religious parents’ teachings.

Yeah... Jack had had to help his friends through some crazy shit in the last few years. Legally, Romeo, Race, and Crutchie were the only ones that were _actually_ his siblings, but Jack was a big brother to anyone who needed one.

Most reasonable people would probably run from all the shit that went on in that friend group. Not Jack. He just... couldn’t. These were _his_ kids. He didn’t know why they were his. They just were, and the group had kept getting bigger from that first day, when Jack was maybe 9 and he first met Race in a bad foster home, and started trying to protect him right from there.

A weird thing that kind of went along with this was that if someone was having a panic attack, Jack _always_ knew what to do. He could always read when someone was having a bad day and, on a lighter note, could always tell when one of his boys or girls was in love.

Yeah, that part was fun. Having perfectly-attuned gaydar, being able to tell who specifically was gay for who was more than a little amusing.

Sure, it was kinda weird, because obviously, Jack didn’t want any of them to get hurt, so he almost never knew who to give a shovel talk to, but he had to admit, seeing the smiles on their faces put there by their partners was worth the weirdness. It was the only drug Jack needed.

Well, and his antidepressants. He did need those.

Medda came downstairs to help them with breakfast after a little while, and Romeo came down right as they were finishing up, but Race was still, presumably, asleep.

That was weird. It was almost 6:15. Romeo and Race had an alarm set for 6:00, and they rarely even slept until it went off. Everyone in this family rose with, or sometimes even before the sun.

”Should I go wake him up?” Romeo asked when they’d already started eating and Race _still_ hadn’t come downstairs.

”Nah,” Crutchie shrugged, “Give him a couple more minutes. Knowin’ Race, he’s probably just pickin’ out his outfit a little too slowly.”

Romeo rolled his eyes, “What—he can’t eat in pajamas like the rest of us?”

“You sound way too excited at the thought of waking your brother up,” Medda observed.

“I wanna pour a glass of water on his face!”

“If you accidentally drown him, I ain’t helpin’ ya hide the body,” Crutchie said flatly.

”Nobody is pourin’ water on anybody,” Jack said before Romeo could respond.

”Aw. You’re no fun, Jack.”

”The pickup lines I supplied when ya were tryin’ to woo Specs say otherwise.”

Medda laughed, “Those weren’t helpful, kid, believe me.”

Jack gasped melodramatically, “Medda, I thought you’d be on my side! Crutchie?”

”Ro‘s flirtin’ was bad enough _before_ you tried to help him. How he actually _got_ Specs is beyond me. You’s on your own.”

Jack gasped again at the same time as Romeo shouted, “Rude!”

At that moment, Race came down the stairs, his hair in such a rat’s nest that Jack wanted to laugh at it.

Of course, he couldn’t, knowing that the way his little brother avoided eye-contact meant he’d almost certainly had a nightmare.

Why was it that it seemed everyone always had nightmares on the same night? That was super creepy and kind of inconvenient.

Locking eyes with Medda, Jack could see that she’d noticed Race’s tells, too.

”So, first day of school,” she said, “Are you all excited?”

Race brightened a little, “I ain’t seen Albert in a while!”

Romeo rolled his eyes, “You saw him last week.”

“Fuck off, Romeo.”

”Fuck you, too.”

”Hey!”

Race and Romeo actually looked ashamed, “Sorry, Medda.”

Jack made eye contact with Crutchie, both of them trying not to laugh.

”Great start to sophomore year, boys,” he said, “Real civil.”

Crutchie was physically shaking from containing his laughter.

Race shot them both a stink eye before going back to his food.

”I know I’m excited,” Jack said brightly, answering Medda’s question, “I’ve got a real good feeling’ ‘bout this year.”

Medda smiled, “That’s the spirit, Jack! Anyone else?”

Crutchie shrugged, “Well, Jack had a good feelin’ ‘bout last year, too, and it kinda sucked. But yeah, I’m sure this year’ll be better.”

Jack decided that the best way to retaliate against that was to steal a pancake off his little brother’s plate.

Last year did kind of suck. A lot of bad things happened, but there were _good_ things, too. Plenty of them.

Jack guessed all he could do was hope he was actually right about this being a good year.

...

Jack could see their friend group messing around on the small, grassy hill outside their school, already high-energy enough to be doing a cartwheel contest, despite it still being almost 7:00 in the morning.

_God_ , Jack had missed them. Over the summer, more than a few of their families had gone on vacation, so they hadn’t all been in one place since the last school year ended. Most of them had gone over to Mush’s house for the 4th of July, but even then, Elmer’s family had wanted him home.

It was kind of weird that just seeing all his friends in one place could make Jack so happy, but he just liked knowing that they were all safe and where he could protect them. He was kind of like a sheepdog that way, he guessed, and—

“Romeo, put your goddamn seatbelt back on.”

”You’s almost done parkin’!”

”Almost. This is a parkin’ lot full of teenage drivers. If we get hit by some dumbass—“

”Fine,” Romeo rolled his eyes, but put his seatbelt back on, “Overprotective little shit.”

”I’m older than you.”

”Only by 6 months!”

Jack rolled his eyes and turned the car off as he finished straightening out his parking job. Unfortunately, Romeo was far from the dumbest dumbass in their group, and now that the whole group was finally together again, they were all sure to do plenty of dumbass things together.

Ah, well. They were dumbasses, but they were his dumbasses. ‘Pretty of face and dumb of ass’ was a description that pretty much applied to them all.

And... _maybe_ Jack occasionally enjoyed joining in on said dumbass things. It wasn’t like riding a stolen Walmart shopping cart down a hill ever killed anyone, right?

Yeah, Jack was pretty of face and dumb of ass, too.

”Jack!”

Jack braced himself, managing to catch Smalls as she ran and jumped at him. Sniper wasn’t far behind with an regular hug, and Jack let himself squeeze her a little tighter than normal because of the dream he’d had last night.

Smalls and Sniper were actually only a little shy of a year younger than Jack, who was the oldest of their group. They were the youngests, and two of the few girls. Jack had always a soft spot for them.

”Jack, how’s it goin’?” Specs asked, coming up, “I’d hug ya, but it looks like you’s got your hands full.”

Smalls dropped to the ground, “He doesn’t, now.”

Jack accepted a hug from Specs, “I’m doin’ great, buddy. I don’t need to remind ya that if ya hurt Ro, they’ll never find your body, right?”

”Nope.”

”Good man. Great to see ya, buddy.

Jack let go of his future brother-in-law so he could go hug Romeo.

Of course, high school relationships typically didn’t last forever, but this group wasn’t exactly what you called typical.

”I saw ya cartwheelin’ with Mike,” Jack said, “Who won?”

Smalls rolled her eyes, “He did. But only ‘cause he’s half a foot taller.”

”And he’s just more ‘flippy’ than you,” Sniper said nonchalantly.

”I want a divorce.”

Crutchie laughed aloud, and Jack wrapped an arm around each of his girls. He’d missed this. He’d missed _them_. Each and every one of his awesome, slightly-eccentric boys and girls.

That was when Jack looked up, just happening to look across the parking lot at the exact right moment.

See, Jack had gotten a _major_ deja vu moment when he first met each of his friends. It was just knowing that this one was one of _his_. He needed to keep this person close and safe and happy. And with pieces of _how_ to do that, he already knew, just instinctively.

Basically, deja vu was an old friend.

But the punch in the gut of familiarity he got when he locked eyes with a dark-haired boy from across the parking lot was _so much more_ than that.

The guy froze for a second, just staring at Jack, but then a girl with similar features nearby called to him and he looked away, following her into school.

Jack exhaled and realized he hadn’t breathed that whole time he was maintaining eye contact with this mystery new kid.

Jack was pretty sure he was a new kid. He would have remembered seeing someone like that.

”Jack?”

Jack snapped back to attention, “What?”

Oh, shit. Crutchie had evidently been trying to get his attention for a while.

”What is it, Crutchie?”

Crutchie smirked, “Nothin’. Just wonderin’ who that boy you was starin’ at was.”

”Wish I knew,” Jack admitted, “He’s... he looked familiar.”

Smalls and Sniper exchanged a delighted look.

”Do _not_ get any ideas,” he warned them.

“Okay, _dad_ ,” Sniper said. Jack ruffled her hair.

”Don’t worry,” Smalls said brightly, “We’ll leave him alone so’s you can shoot your shot.”

”Who says I wanna shoot a shot?”

Smalls just shrugged, slinging an arm around her girlfriend’s waist, “Just a feelin’.”

The first bell chose that second to ring, and honestly, Jack was a little relieved about that as the girls ran off.

”How ‘bout you?” Jack asked, “You gonna leave that boy alone?”

Crutchie shrugged, “For now. I won’t hesitate to give a shovel talk later, though.”

”I ain’t sure if I’m gonna make a move, Crutch.”

”Yeah, well... I ain’t seen ya even seriously _think_ about makin’ a move on anyone before, so this boy must be pretty special, Cowboy.”

Jack had to admit, he _hadn’t_ seriously thought about making a move on anyone. He often joked that it was doubly sad when you liked both girls and boys and couldn’t get either, but the truth was that he’d never _tried_ to get anyone. He just didn’t have time, with homework and theatre and whatever drama his friends were going through.

Which begged the question... why was he thinking about making a move on _this_ guy?

...

First period, Jack was still halfway daydreaming about whoever that boy he’d seen across the parking lot was, but he was distracted by a head full of red curls.

Well, not exactly _distracted_ , because though Jack did like girls, this girl wasn’t pulling his attention because she was pretty—not that she wasn’t pretty, because she was, but—

Basically, Jack got a shock of recognition seeing her in his art class, but it was the kind that was familiar to him—the instant instinct to befriend her.

It definitely wasn’t stronger than Jack’s thoughts about that boy, but it was strong enough that he could shove those thoughts aside for a bit.

”Hello there,” he said, plopping down in the seat next to her and opening his sketchbook. The assignment the first day was just to freestyle, and Jack’s favorite medium happened to be just a pencil and paper.

The girl stiffened in a way that definitely seemed like Jack had seen it before, “There are plenty of other desks.”

”Yeah, but those ones don’t come with the pleasure of making a new friend,” Jack said brightly, “The name’s Jack Kelly.”

”Is that what it says on your rap sheet?”

Jack laughed, “Oh, you’re a smart girl! I like smart girls.”

”Do you _mind_?”

The girl looked kind of like she was going to hit him as she stood up, and Jack tried not to be obvious about flinching back.

”Quiet down, now,” the teacher said reproachfully.

”Sorry, Denton!” Jack called.

Denton chuckled, “I was young, too, once, Jack. Don’t worry about it. Just finish your assignment now, flirt later.”

”I prefer boys.”

Denton paused, and Jack realized that he didn’t think he’d ever told him about his romantic preferences.

God, Jack _really_ hoped Denton wasn’t homophobic. He was kind of his favorite teacher.

Then after a couple seconds, Denton recovered and shot Jack a thumbs up, “Cool. Not that it’s a big deal, but I support you!”

”Thanks, Denton!”

Denton went over to help someone else with their assignment and Jack’s new friend looked at him quizzically.

”You’re gay?”

Jack shrugged, “Bi, actually, but I do usually prefer boys. And I do have plenty of friends who’s gay. My entire group is, to some extent, actually.”

Was he laying it on a bit thick that his friend group was a safe space for lgbt+ kids? Maybe. But this girl was giving him pretty clear ‘closeted’ vibes, and Jack liked giving his kids support.

He probably shouldn’t think of her as one of his when he didn’t even know her name, but Jack was sure that she _was_ one of his.

She finally seemed to judge he wasn’t lying, and her guard dropped a little, so Jack judged it would be okay to ask.

”You got a name?”

”Katherine,” the girl said, “And yours was Jack, right?”

Jack nodded, “Nice to meet ya, Kath. Mind if I draw you?”

”What?”

”Well, this is an art class, and my main thing happens to be sketchin’. I take inspiration where I can find it.”

Katherine shrugged with a smile, “Sure, I guess. Go ahead and draw me.”

”Awesome. What’s your medium?”

”Excuse me?”

”What do ya do?” Jack clarified, “Paintin’, drawin’, sculptin’..?”

Katherine held up a note pad and pencil, “Writing.”

”Oh, right. The school district got a bunch of budget cuts, so’s they lumped writing in with art.”

”Yeah. Hey, I’ll tell you what. It’ll probably take me until tomorrow, but how about you give me a prompt word and I can write a story about it?”

”Seriously?” Jack asked, kind of excited about this.

Kath grinned, “Sure.”

”Um... first word that pops into my head is... ‘newspaper’.”

Katherine nodded, “Kind of random, but I can roll with it. Are we allowed to listen to music in here?”

”Yup. Knock yourself out.”

Jack put in his own earbuds, picking a song that reminded him of Katherine for some reason ( _King of Anything_ by Sara Bareilles) and putting it on repeat. He had to glance over to check a couple times, but he largely already had her face memorized. Another weird thing to add to the list, he guessed.

At the end of the class, he showed her the sketch.

Katherine was speechless for a good few seconds, which Jack guessed was a good sign.

”You’ve got real talent, here.”

”Thanks.”

”Are you gonna go to art school?”

Jack shrugged, “If my mom can afford it. I got three little brothers and a single mother, so I’m not sure.”

”Oh,” Kath’s smile faded a little, “Okay. I think you’re good enough to get in, if you wanted. Maybe you could get a scholarship or something.”

“Maybe. Good meetin’ ya, Kath. What class ya got next?”

”Chemistry.”

”Oh, so does my friend, Buttons! He’ll be the shy kid in the green cargo pants near the back of the room if ya wanna go make friends with him.”

”Yeah...”

Kath seemed kind of uncertain about that for some reason, but Jack decided not to ask, figuring she would tell him if she wanted to.

Of course, he definitely wasn’t telling her that he was praying about a certain boy being in his next class.

...

As it turned out, Jack didn’t have a class with the mystery boy until 4th period, in math. He _did_ have 3rd period English with Kath, but that was kind of irrelevant.

But the second he walked into math class, Jack’s eyes were immediately drawn to a dark-haired boy in a blue shirt sitting near the back of the room, near the door.

”Hey, Jack!”

Oh, damn. Jack had forgotten to check if any of his kids were in the class. He hadn’t noticed Crutchie, Ike, and Specs already parked up near the teacher’s desk.

Crutchie waved with a smile, “We saved ya a seat!”

Whatever. Jack could introduce himself some other time. And kids were still trickling in, anyway, so a 5th friend would probably come in eventually to take the 5th and last seat in the table group.

“Hey, boys,” he said, trying not to let his disappointment show too obviously.

Unfortunately, they all knew him better than that, Ike and Specs giving him worried looks as Crutchie looked around the room.

”Why do ya look like somebody crop-dusted you?” Ike asked.

”I do _not_!”

”I wouldn’t put it like that,” Specs admitted, “But ya kinda do. It’s like somebody let the wind out of your sails. What’s up?”

”It’s nothin’,” Jack tried to insist.

”Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

Jack looked at his brother right in time to catch the shit-eating grin before he stood up.

”No, no, no, Crutchie, don’t—“

Jack gave up, knowing he couldn’t stop him, and banged his head down on the desk, deciding _not_ to watch as Crutchie made his way over to talk to mystery boy.

Ike and Specs had caught on to what was actually going on by now, judging by the amount of snickering they both currently were doing.

”Shut up,” Jack groaned.

”Ya might wanna pull your head off the desk, Cowboy,” Ike suggested, “Cause it looks like Crutchie actually got that guy to agree to come sit with us.”

”Your hair looks fine, by the way,” Specs said helpfully as Jack sat up straight.

”Thanks, buddy.”

Jack couldn’t decide if he was excited or terrified as Crutchie led that dark-haired boy over, but he managed to paste on a confident smirk.

”Boys, this is David,” Crutchie announced, “David, this is Ike, Specs, and Jack.”

”Thanks for letting me sit with you guys,” David said, sounding confident enough, though Jack noticed the weird look he got when Crutchie introduced Specs.

”Aw, no problem!” Ike exclaimed.

”Always great to make new friends,” Specs agreed, “And you’re new here, right?”

”That’s right. Um... you might already know my twin sister, Sarah? We moved schools together.”

Ike’s eyes lit up, “Ya got a twin? So do I! His name’s Mike!”

David raised an eyebrow, “Mike and Ike?”

”Yup! Been that way since we was born!”

“Hey, Jack,” Crutchie said cheekily, “You’s bein’ uncharacteristically shy, here. Wanna talk to our nice new friend?”

Jack rolled his eyes, swatting his brother in the arm, “Nice to meet ya, Davey.”

” _Davey_?”

Jack just shrugged. He’d instinctively known nicknames for a few of his friends before, and as weird and oddly specific as some of them were, it was commonplace, now. ‘Davey’ was one of the tamer ones.

And the look in Davey’s eyes wasn’t offense or anger. It was more like startled recognition. A kind of _‘it feels familiar for someone to call me that but_ why _does it feel familiar for someone to call me that?’  
_

That feeling was normal in their group. Jack remembered it from the first time Crutchie called him ‘Cowboy.’

”If ya don’t want me to call ya that, I won’t,” he said, “But a lot of friends have nicknames, so it ain’t like you’ll be the only one.”

Davey shrugged, “Nah, ‘Davey’ is fine. You just caught me off-guard.”

”Yeah, the nicknames are kinda weird,” Crutchie agreed, “I mean, I was pretty confused the first time Jack called me ‘Crutchie.’“

Specs snorted, “Yeah, same when Romeo called me ‘Specs.’ It’s like, I probably _should_ be offended by that, but I’m not.”

“Romeo is Specs’s boyfriend,” Jack explained, “And Crutchie and my little brother. Oh! We’s brothers, Crutchie and me.”

”Adoptive,” Crutchie clarified, “But yeah. And ‘sides Romeo, we’s got one more little brother. Ro’s the youngest.”

“Cool. I have a little brother, too. His name is Les.”

”How old?” Jack asked.

”Almost 10,” Davey smirked, “But you’d think he’s turning 20 in a couple months by the way he acts. He thinks he’s so mature.”

Crutchie laughed, “I can relate. Jack’s only 4 months older than me and he acts like he’s _so_ much more mature.”

“I _am_ so much more mature!”

“Who rode that shopping cart Albert stole from Walmart down a hill last winter?”

”Most of us!”

”Ah! But I didn’t!”

Jack sighed, “Davey, if ya can’t tell already, our friend group is chaotic.”

”Oh, I can tell.”

”And is that... a good thing?”

Davey shrugged, “You can count me as ‘intrigued,’ but don’t expect me to ride a stolen shopping cart down a hill with you.”

Jack laughed, “Deal.”

”You should sit with the fellas at lunch, Davey,” Specs suggested, “I thinks most of us have it together, anyway. You can meet the group!”

”How many people?”

Jack looked around the table group. Crutchie looked like he was trying to count in his head. Specs looked at the desk, frowning. Ike just shrugged helplessly.

Another weird thing to add to the list was that they’d collectively lost the ability to tell how many of them there were and when each person had joined the group somewhere during middle school.

Jack didn’t really know how many kids he had. Maybe... a bit more than a couple dozen boys and 4 or 5 girls? Just because he felt an intense need to protect them didn’t mean he was close with all of them.

”I’d say about 3/4 of us have the same lunch,” Specs said finally, “Which... I’d guess maybe 20 people? Give or take?”

Crutchie nodded slowly, “That sounds about right.”

”You don’t know how many friends you have?” Davey asked quizzically.

Jack shrugged, “Not really. Once you get enough of ‘em, ya kind of lose track, ya know?”

”Not really,” Davey muttered, “Never had that many friends.”

Jack exchanged a look with Crutchie. That had been the case with most of their friends, and it never stopped being sad when a kid didn’t know what to do with all this platonic love, a dynamic that they each had a place in the second they were integrated into it. They were a family, blood be damned. It was a strange friendship, but it worked, somehow.

”Well, ya got friends now,” Jack said with a grin, “Probably more than you’ll know what to do with—hope ya don’t mind a few dozen hyperactive theatre kids.”

”Theatre kids?”

”Oh, we makes up the school’s whole theatre club. I’m the president. You can expect a whole lot of singin’ along with showtunes in this friendship.”

”Who says I want this friendship?” Davey challenged.

“Oh, trust me, ya do,” Crutchie said confidently, “The theatre kids of NY World High is the best support group ya could ask for. We takes care of each other.”

Ike sniggered, “Well, mostly, Jack takes care of the rest of us, like a fuckin’ mother hen.”

Jack swatted him, “Hey, if I’m anything, I’m the dad friend, Isaac.”

”Ooh. Okay, _dad_.”

Specs and Crutchie laughed.

”In all seriousness, my real dad can’t even tell me and Mike apart,” Ike said nonchalantly, “So Jack’s probably the better parent.”

That was both depressing and oddly touching.

”Thanks, sport.”

Specs laughed, “Okay, don’t call him that. That makes it weird.”

”So, what do ya think, Davey?” Jack asked, “Wanna try out this merry band of losers?”

He totally wasn’t holding his breath as he waited for his answer.

Then, to his relief, Davey smiled, shrugging, “I guess I don’t have anyone else offerin’ to be my friend.”

Jack pumped his fist in the air a couple times in celebration, and Davey gave him kind of a weird look.

”What?”

”Have we met before? I get the feeling that... I dunno. You seem familiar. You all do, actually.”

Jack froze.

Shit. Davey seemed _so_ familiar. And if he felt the same way, that meant this wasn’t just in Jack’s head, which was... kind of freaky, honestly.

Naturally, Jack’s mind went to Elmer’s conspiracy theory that they were all friends in a past life and that was why they all already felt like they knew each other when first meeting.

But... nah. That theory was complete bullshit. Most of the group thought so. Jack definitely did, though he always listened whenever Elmer needed someone to vent his latest evidence to.

”That’s common with our group,” he said at last, “You’ll see when ya meet the others.”

Inside, he couldn’t help but think about how Davey _wasn’t_ common. Because Jack was drawn to him in an undeniable way, but... oddly... he didn’t feel the need to protect him.

...

Lunch went well. Davey didn’t seem phased by the extreme amount of energy in the group, which Jack had to appreciate, because honestly, not everyone _could_ take their energy.

He even joined in when they sang _I’ll Make A Man Out Of You_ from Mulan, though he didn’t seem to know any of the Broadway showtunes.

God, he actually _took notes_ on his phone, writing down musicals to listen to later, though he seemed a bit skeptical about Dear Evan Hansen after the group belted and danced along to _Sincerely, Me_ in the middle of the lunch room.

It was adorable.

Jack was _definitely_ into him, which was troubling because he didn’t know how to flirt with someone who he _actually_ liked, and only so much as got Davey’s number because Crutchie added him to the group chat.

Said group chat was super annoying 90% of the time and possibly cursed, with how someone always seemed to text right when the others were trying to sleep.

They all warned Davey of this beforehand, of course, and it definitely gave Jack more butterflies than it should how he didn’t seem the slightest bit nervous about it.

It turned out they also had 6th period PE with together.

“Oh, so it’s like _that_ ,” Albert said pointedly as they headed out to the track to do the (super annoying) 6 minute run.

Jack had _not_ been sneaking glances at Davey.

“Shut up, Albie.”

”I could give ya some advice. I do got a boyfriend, ya know.”

“Yeah, but I got _no_ clue how that happened. Finch is a levelheaded kid and I still don’t know how the fuck _you_ got him.”

Albert swatted him, “Hey, we work!”

”Yeah, I know,” Jack admitted, “It’s a weird combination of ‘causer of chaos’ and ‘peacekeeper,’ but it works. Still don’t understand how that happened, but it works.”

”Yup.”

Aw. Too bad. He didn’t take the bait to _explain_ how it happened. Jack was still curious about how Albert and Finch got together. They were actually one of only a couple pairings in the group that he didn’t know the details behind.

Pretty much everyone in the group had come to Jack with a problem at some point, Albert and Finch included. Often, people’s problems involved love, but... Finch and Albert’s problems were never about that, now that Jack as thinking about it. Neither of them were huge ‘sharers’ about their relationship.

Race probably knew. Maybe Henry, too? Sniper and Tommy Boy? Besides Race, obviously, being Albert’s best friend, those three were Finch’s closest friends. Cause, you know, having a friend group that big, it was inevitable that everybody would have their usual groups or pairs, despite caring about everyone in the group.

Albert looked over his shoulder for a second before turning back to Jack, “Well, first lesson is that contrary to popular belief, I didn’t get Finch. He got me. The louder ones ain’t always the one who makes the first move.”

”Okay, first of all, who said I want lessons from you?”

Albert just shrugged.

”Second, Race is about to jump on your shoulders.”

”Dammit, Jack!”

Albert whipped around and Jack had to chuckle as the two started rough-housing. They clearly would be sticking together, as usual.

Jack rolled his eyes as his little brother ran off, the redhead hot on his tail. Those two were chaotic _apart_. This semester’s PE would be interesting.

And with Race and Albert keeping each other busy...

”Hey!”

Jack jogged a few steps to catch up with Davey.

”Hey,” Davey responded.

”Wanna stick together? Sorry—I’m just assumin’ ya don’t have any other friends in this class.”

”I’m not even sure I would consider _you_ a friend yet,” Davey admitted, “We met _today_. And quite frankly, I’m shocked you _don’t_ have any other friends you could be hanging out with in this class.”

Jack shrugged, gesturing to the two boys chasing each other up ahead, “Well, I guess I _could_ hang out with Al and Race, but they’s best left alone.”

”What—are they together?”

”God, no. Albert’s got a boyfriend. Remember Finch from lunch?”

“Yeah... wait, why is Finch—a levelheaded, smart kid—with one of the feral children chasing each other around the track?”

” _Right_? I don’t know how the fuck Albert got him. Al’s the redhead, by the way. The other one’s my 3rd little brother—the one ya ain’t met yet.”

”So all you and your brothers are in the same grade?”

Jack nodded, “Yup.”

”Ugh. I get enough of everybody askin’ about me being related to Sarah. I can’t imagine it with _three_ in the same grade.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda a nightmare. Every year at least one teacher says one of ‘em warned ‘bout me, their big brother who’s a big, bad juvenile delinquent.”

Davey laughed, “Juvenile delinquent, huh?”

”Well, technically, the charges were dropped, but yeah.”

Davey laughed again, and Jack laughed along with him. For now at least, he didn’t really feel the need to share that that was actually _true_.

They stuck together, but didn’t talk until they were already lined up at the start of the track. The assignment was to just get as far as you could in 6 minutes, and Jack wasn’t super motivated to _actually_ get as far as he could.

“I noticed you and Crutchie don’t have the same last name,” Davey said, “So, ya got adopted a bit older?”

”Breakin’ out the personal questions this early, huh?” Jack asked as they started jogging. Technically speaking, he could go a lot faster, but why would he when he could match pace with Davey?

Davey’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—“

”Ey, don’t sweat it,” Jack said quickly, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to make things weird. And it ain’t exactly a secret, Dave, so’s there ain’t nothin’ to worry about. Yeah, we all got adopted a bit older. Ro was the last, at the start of 7th grade, but Race and I were... 11, I think? Crutchie was with Medda a little while before that, but yeah, we’s all had last names beforehand, and only Romeo decided to change his.”

Davey hesitated, then seemed to judge that Jack was being serious that there was nothing to worry about right as they slowed down to a walk. (Nobody gave a rat’s ass about PE anyway as long as they passed.)

“So, Medda’s your adoptive mom?”

”She’s my mom,” Jack said nonchalantly, “Just like your mom is yours—if you’ve got a mom, that is. I didn’t mean to assume.”

”I’ve got a mom,” Davey assured him, “And I didn’t mean to insinuate that—“

”Don’t worry ‘bout it. Ya know, Davey, you worry way too much.”

”You’ve known me less than a day, Jack.”

“Oh, I can already tell.”

Davey rolled his eyes, “You don’t know anything about me.”

”Let’s see,” Jack grinned, taking the challenge, “I knows ya got two siblings—a brother and a sister—and a mom, at least. But judgin’ by the fact ya ain’t made any comment ‘bout me not havin’ a dad—sayin’ you get it and stuff—you’s got one of those, too. I knows you’s the smart type, but not in an asshole kind of way, which is good. I knows you’re considerate—seemed kind of uncomfortable callin’ Crutchie or Specs by their names even though they ain’t offended by it—and ya listened and cared ‘bout whatever bullshit my kids were talkin’ ‘bout at lunch...”

”Your kids?” Davey asked, seeming amused, “You actually call them that?”

Jack shrugged, “Well, somebody’s gotta parent those helpless assholes. Anyway, I also knows that you act like ya ain’t focused on anythin’ but your studies, but you’re secretly hilarious. And a little uptight, but sarcastic. And...”

He smiled devilishly at the other boy, hoping the red across Davey’s cheeks wasn’t just from walking around a track in the hot sun for the last few minutes.

”I know that ya need to loosen up and worry less.”

Davey smirked, “This comin’ from the guy I watched trick Blink into eating lunch today? Who’s worrying, again?”

Jack shrugged shamelessly, “Like I said: somebody’s gotta parent these kids.”

Davey laughed again, and Jack tried to ignore the way his stomach did a flip.

”You’re...”

”Dashin’?” Jack suggested, “Charmin’?”

”You’re somethin’,” Davey corrected, “I’m just not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing yet.”

Jack mock-gasped, “Ya ain’t decided yet? I must be off my game! Usually by now they start smilin’ and slowly backin’ away to go file a restrainin’ order!”

”I _could_ do that,” Davey reasoned, “Or I could just go absolutely feral in my teenage friendships like my dad seems to be expecting.”

”Ooh, tell him about how it’s _not_ a phase, dad?”

” _Exactly_. Might as well just sign me up for your emo band gang, now.”

Jack laughed, “See what I mean? You’re hilarious!”

”I never said I wasn’t!”

”But in all seriousness,” Jack forced himself to stop smiling, “Theatre is more a cult than a gang.”

Davey rolled his eyes, “Yeah. Got it.”

”I’m serious,” Jack argued, “It’s actually a cult! Once you’re in, ya ain’t ever gettin’ out. It’s like the mafia, but made up of batshit insane teenagers who are runnin’ on coffee, adrenaline, and _maybe_ 10 hours of sleep between all of them. Also, you should see our pre-show rituals. We sacrifice one soul per show for a perfect performance. I don’t know what we’re gonna do when we run out, but that’s beside the point. The point is: theatre is a cult.”

Davey snorted, “I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

”Oh, now that you’s a part of the group, ya gotta join up.”

The other boy raised an eyebrow, “I’m a part of the group? I’ll remind you again: we met today.”

Jack shrugged with a grin, “Well, when ya know, ya know.”

”You’re talking about making a friend, Jack,” Davey pointed out, “Not finding your soulmate.”

_Debatable_ , but Jack didn’t say that out loud.

Lord help him, Jack met this boy today and he had _never_ felt this way about _anyone_.

Instead of thinking about that, he stopped at a line in the track, and though Davey seemed confused, he stopped, too.

“What are you doing?”

”Race me to the curve?”

”What?”

Jack shrugged, “I mean, ya got a good couple inches on me, but if you’re _that_ scared to lose...”

“Oh...” Davey groaned, “You know what you are, Jack Kelly?”

”What?”

”You’re trouble.”

”Ah. Of course. Well, what were ya expectin’, joinin’ my emo band cult?”

“Ah, my mistake. I should have expected that, I guess.”

“Gonna race me, or what?”

Davey scoffed, but he walked around to Jack’s other side, stepping back into a running stance.

Jack grinned, “Ready?”

”Set,” Davey grumbled.

”Go!”

Jack took off running as fast as he could as soon as he shouted it, but Davey was already overtaking him, clearly having a height advantage.

He was laughing so hard that it slowed him down and Jack ended up winning.

God, he was cute.

Jack was so fucking gone over this boy.

...

Jack could only hope that he hadn’t been flirting _too_ awkwardly.

Yeah... with the looks Race and Albert gave him, he probably was completely failing, but what did those two know? Sure, Albert had managed to get himself a boyfriend, but it had taken him and Finch _months_ to get together. And Race was still single, so he definitely didn’t know anything.

Still, of course all three of Jack’s brothers knew about Davey and were being annoying little shits about it by the time they were driving home for the day, and so of course Medda got wind about it, so in short, Jack was having a _great_ day.

This day was so great, in fact, that though Jack didn’t usually like sleeping, he was actually looking forward to it to get away from the relentless teasing from Romeo and Crutchie.

Race, oddly, wasn’t teasing him that much, which was probably worse than if he _was_. Jack knew that his second-youngest brother had been through nearly as many bad homes as Jack himself had. He had plenty of leftover trauma from that, and from assorted nightmares made up of random scary circumstances.

And Jack didn’t ask about the specific circumstances unless Race or anyone else clearly _needed_ to talk about it, but...

He knew that _he’d_ gotten weirdly vivid nightmares about things he’d never lived. The one about Sniper dying wasn’t the first where he’d been helpless to stop it as one or more of his friends fell.

But luckily, he didn’t have ones that involved actual death that often. More common were the ones where his friends got hurt, where Crutchie yelled for help as he was dragged away by his bad leg, where he had to wake Finch from a nightmare and hold him until the ghosts in his head quieted, or where Specs came to him with injuries and smiled through pain, saying wasn’t that bad when it clearly _was._

The worst ones were probably the ones where Jack was an actual, young _child_ in the dream and he was shivering in a bed in a dark room with a couple other boys, terrified that someone would come in and hurt one of them even more than they were already hurt.

Those ones were the worst because they hit a little too close to home. They were too close to real experiences Jack had, which meant sometimes he got mixed up and didn’t know what was a real memory and what was just a nightmare and—

Yeah, Jack didn’t like thinking about it. About how Jack had more in common with Race than with either of their other brothers.

He didn’t like worrying that maybe Race had these real-as-real-life nightmares, too, because occasionally when he woke up from one and Romeo came to get Jack to help deal with it, Race would sob out shaky details about his bad dreams that were... disturbingly familiar. Almost like he was haunted by the same place that had been haunting Jack at night since he was a kid.

This was why Jack didn’t like sleeping.

However, it was a welcome exit from Crutchie’s questions about his conversation with Davey during PE, so Jack let himself fall asleep without stalling for once.

...

_”I don’t like this, Davey. Something’s wrong. He’s never stayed out this long without tellin’ me first.”_

_”Jackie, he’s not a kid anymore. Race is—“_

_”He is too a kid! He’s one of my—“_

_”Our kids,” Davey corrected, grabbing Jack’s wrist as he passed the couch next in his pacing.  
_

_They were in the common room of the Lodging House, and Jack was scared out of his mind because Race hadn’t come in yet. It was nearly midnight. He couldn’t understand why Davey wasn’t scared, too._

_”Jack,” Davey said slowly, “When you made me your partner, you said it was because you trusted me to help you take care of the others. I know they’re like siblings to you and I know you don’t like it when you can’t say for certain that they’re all safe and happy. I know I can’t fully understand what you’re feeling right now, but I also know that you trust me, right?”_

_”Yeah,” Jack mumbled, fighting the urge to jerk his arm away and keep moving._

_”So trust me,” he said simply, “Race is almost definitely fine. He probably just lost track of time and Spot wouldn’t let him walk home after dark. Or maybe he stayed over on purpose and forgot to let us know. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s spent the night in Brooklyn.“_

_Jack huffed, plopping down on the couch next to his lover, “First time he damn near gave me a heart attack ‘cause of it.”_

_Davey smiled, reaching up to run his fingers through Jack’s hair, “If he’s not at the circulation gate tomorrow, then we’ll worry, okay?”_

_It was funny, wasn’t it, how situations similar to this had happened, long before the strike, before the Jacobs siblings ever became Newsies and Katherine got her big break, and Jack had spent cold nights out on the streets, searching until either the next morning came or until he found his missing kid._

_With every past time it happened, no one had been able to stop him from worrying. Not Crutchie, not Race, not any of his boys or girls. If Jack didn’t know exactly where all of them were—which, he usually did, given that he knew where everyone usually sold and where most of the ones who didn’t live in the Lodging House full time lived—he assumed they were hurting somewhere._

_Davey somehow pacified all of that, and made Jack believe without knowing for sure that this technically missing kid was okay with only a few words. There was something almost magic about the way he could quiet Jack’s fear and calm him down the way no one else ever could._

_”Okay.”  
_

_“Race is a big kid, now,” Davey said quietly, “He’s 16, Jackie. And plus, if he wasn’t safely with him, Spot would’ve sent someone over by now to get Manhattan in on a search.”_

_”I guess you’re right,” Jack muttered, “Damn, it’s still weird to think of little Racetrack havin’ a lover—and the King of Brooklyn, no less.”_

_”Guess he didn’t learn how to flirt from you.”_

_”What the fuck did you just say?”_

_Davey started laughing._

_”Pardon me, Jacobs, but didn’t you fall for my flirtin’?”_

_“Ugh. No,” Davey shook his head, leaning back against the back of the couch and looking at the ceiling, “Trust me, Jackie, you’re good at flirting for the sake of a sale, but when it’s someone you actually want...”_

_”It’s worked on multiple people!”_

_”Hmm. I hate to break it to ya, but the only person more awkward with love in this family than you is Romeo. And I’ve compared notes with Kath and Saz, so trust me: nobody has fallen for your dumb pickup lines.”_

_Jack laughed. Before the strike, he’d had a few lovers, though none of them had lasted long. He’d never had a serious relationship before Katherine._

_He and Kath had only stayed together for a couple months. That didn’t mean that Jack hadn’t enjoyed every minute with her, but him and Kath were too similar. They could never balance each other out, always fanning each other’s flames even once a blaze wasn’t what was needed anymore. In the end, they were better off as friends. Close friends, but still just friends._

_Of course, that didn’t mean that breaking up hadn’t hurt at first. It did, especially on Jack’s end, because even if he wasn’t sure he’d ever really loved Katherine in that way, he’d sure as hell tried. He’d spent a lot of energy trying to make it work, and being slightly heartbroken and not quite thinking clearly, he’d asked out Sarah not a week after the break up._

_Things with Saz were, honestly, worse, because she wasn’t the type to fan Jack’s flames, but she dowsed them a little too quickly. In response, Jack pushed too hard to get her out of her comfort zone, which only resulted in her lashing out.  
_

_They’d lasted only two weeks before breaking it off, agreeing that they, too, were better off as friends. And after a few months of friendship with no added complications, they figured out that they made an unstoppable team, antagonizing each other to no end but also absolutely_ destroying _any common enemy they had._

_After that, Jack had been single for a long time, until only a month ago, when he and Davey finally sucked it the hell up and admitted their feelings for each other._

_Because honestly, Jack had started to fall in love with Davey Jacobs the first day he met him. And he’d been pretty sure the other boy felt the same for a long time before even asking to be official, so it was kind of dumb that they took so long to get together.  
_

_And, by the way, Jack had not been that bad at flirting. His pickup lines weren’t that bad._

_”What did ya fall for, then?”_

_Davey shrugged, “Short version or long version?”_

_”Um... medium version.”_

_“Then...” Davey smiled as Jack laid his head on his shoulder, “It started out with your audacity. It amazed me how you could spout absolute bullshit with such confidence.”_

_”Wow. Thanks.”_

_”You’re the one who asked, Jackie. Please let me finish.”_

_”Oh, please, continue.”_

_Jack closed his eyes as Davey started absentmindedly messing with his hair. It felt good, but it did make him wonder how he hadn’t realized before that what he had with his past lovers wasn’t real. He’d never shared simple, loving touches like this with any of them._

_”After that, I started to respect what a good leader you were,” he continued, “How you were always the first one to put yourself in danger, always trying to protect the others. I started getting frustrated with how while you care so much about everyone else, you don’t particularly care about your own safety or happiness. That’s about when I realized it—my feelings for you—because it mattered so much to me that you took care of yourself.”_

_”So you realized your feelings for me because I was pissin’ you off?”_

_Davey shrugged, “Kind of. I also got this annoying, fuzzy feeling in my chest whenever you were soft with the younger kids. You know, the little moments. Checking each of them over after a fight. Sitting with anyone who has a nightmare until they fall asleep. Even just when ya make the rounds every night, makin’ sure ya know where all of them are and that they’re all okay.”_

_Jack smiled, “Guess it’s nice to know I didn’t even have to do anything to seduce ya.”_

_”Nah, just being you was enough. What about you? What made you fall for me?”_

_Jack shrugged, “You weren’t... complicated. I guess somethin’ in me was drawn to that from the beginnin’.”_

_Davey leaned his cheek against Jack’s hair, “I’m not sure that’s as much of a compliment as you think it is.”_

_“Oh, no, Dave, what I mean is... ya didn’t have any ghosts. Sure, you were guarded and untrustin’, but I didn’t have to worry ‘bout ya as much. Talkin’ with you was simple. It was... it was a breath of fresh air, I guess.”_

_”Alright... well, continue.”_

_”Then the strike happened, and... hell, Davey, ya met us only a day before, and you were already willin’ to get hurt, go to jail, or die for us. How could I not fall for that?”_

_”Coulda fooled me, with how you were chasing Kath.”_

_“Yeah, well... knowin’ I liked boys and actually bein’ with a boy are two different things. I mean, I had been with boys before, by the time I met you, but... well, it was always just a fling. I’d never had somethin’ serious—not even with a girl. Then I met two amazing, attractive people and...”_

_He shrugged. Jack wasn’t particularly proud of his reason for choosing Katherine, but he guessed Davey should know._

_”I could kinda tell, even back then, that you was queer. I won’t say I didn’t see ya as an option, cause I’d be lyin’. I mostly chose Kath because bein’ with her would be simpler. People wouldn’t approve either way, but at least with her I probably wouldn’t get killed for it. Kath was easier than you, but... well, you remember what happened. We never coulda worked out long term.”_

_”Yeah,” Davey agreed, “You and Kath have the same problem with how you never take a break unless somebody else makes you. That’s why ya need me and Sarah.”_

_”Yeah, I guess we do... actually, that’s kind of what made me realize what I was feelin’ for you.”_

_”What do you mean?”_

_Jack smiled, looking up at his lover, “I’s been runnin’ Manhattan since I was 14, and I always said I didn’t need help whenever any of the others asked. But you didn’t ask—you just helped. What really made me fall for ya was when I realized how I trusted you with my boys and girls. I’d never done that with anyone. Still haven’t with anyone else. That’s how I know...“_

_”Know what?” Davey whispered, looking down. Their faces were very close._

_”That this... this is it for me. You’re it. You’re the only one I’m ever gonna want, Davey Jacobs. I’ve never loved anyone the way I’m in love with you.”_

_Jack would say that he was scared of his reaction, but he wasn’t. The thing was... he knew Davey. Davey felt the same, and Jack wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t already know that. The only thing he wasn’t sure of was if he was ready to say it back._

_Davey sighed, leaning down just a bit to kiss Jack deep and slow._

_”We’re gettin’ older, Jackie,” he said quietly as they pulled apart a bit, “You’re 18. I’m 17. You say I’m_ it _for you, but... is that still gonna be true when we’re not Newsies anymore?”_

_”Of course,” Jack said forcefully, “I don’t care what we’re doin’ to keep a roof over us.”_

_Davey was smiling almost too much to kiss him again, but he did, pulling away quickly to speak._

_”As long as you want me, you have me, Jackie. And don’t worry. Movin’ out can wait a bit. It’s almost winter, after all—handin’ the reins to Crutchie and Race during hard times wouldn’t be smart.”_

_Jack nodded, more relieved than he probably should be._

_He’d been a Newsie since he was 5, and the thought of moving on was... it was scary. Especially the thought of leaving Crutchie and Race in charge and giving up all control, giving up always knowing where his boys and girls were and that they were safe. He was sure that his two seconds could handle command, but..._

_This was Jack’s family. He didn’t remember another. Even with his mother, he only had a few vague, hazy memories, and many of them might have been fabricated from stories. She was gone, and the Newsies were all Jack had._

_And yeah, he’d watched many of them, especially older ones, leave one way or another over the years. He’d hugged goodbye all the older kids who’d helped raise him, and for the most part, never seen them again, but this was different. This was Jack leaving behind_ _kids he had helped raise. Kids he’d been protecting and holding through nightmares for the last 4 years. He’d watched them grow and had to awkwardly give The Talk to more than a few of them as their childhoods started to end._

_This wasn’t hard because he didn’t trust Race and Crutchie to take care of the others._

_It was hard because Race and Crutchie were his kids, too. Hell, they were the two Jack had been protecting the longest._

_But he could stress about this another day. Right now, he could just focus on kissing his partner, knowing that Davey wanted Jack as much as Jack wanted him._

_..._

Jack slapped his hand over his mouth as he woke up, glanced over to confirm that Crutchie was still asleep, and then rolled over so that if he did wake up, he wouldn’t see how red Jack was sure his face was.

”What the _fuck_ ,” he whispered, barely any sound behind it at all.

Jack sometimes had dreams containing a boyfriend. Or... _boyfriend_ didn’t really describe how Jack had felt in those dreams. Sure, nobody remembered all the details of dreams, but what he did remember said clearly that he was completely, stupidly in love with this dream boy. He trusted him completely, which definitely didn’t happen with just anyone.

That boy had started showing up in dreams when Jack was 15, even though they were both older in the dreams themselves. That was over a year and a half ago, but...

Holy shit. Jack didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, he didn’t know if it was supposed to be possible, but since the beginning, even if he had never been able to remember his face before, it had _always_ been Davey in the dreams.

What the _fuck_?

Jack leaned over to check that Crutchie was still asleep before grabbing his colored pencils and a clipboard and quietly leaving their room.

Picking up a piece of paper off the printer, Jack headed out to the front porch.

Checking the ziplock baggies full of papers hidden under a loose board in the porch, nothing looked out of place. Looked like nobody had discovered Jack’s hiding place yet.

He did this sometimes, when the horrors in his head just _couldn’t_ stay in his head.

See, these drawings were of Jack’s worst nightmares. Rough sketches of dark rooms with too many kids on bunk beds. Quickly made, tear-stained renditions of his friends hurt and scared. Graphic drawings of older versions of the people he loved, dead.

Jack kept these out here because he didn’t want anyone to see them. Not his brothers or friends and _definitely_ not his mom. Because though he knew it helped some people, he didn’t particularly like the idea of therapy, which... well, to be honest, if Jack found out any of his kids did graphic drawings of death, he would strongly encourage them to go to therapy.

Tonight, he wasn’t drawing death.

Putting in his earbuds, Jack started looking for a song that reminded him of Davey, but it was hard. How did you pick one song that embodied someone with so many complicated emotions attached to him?

“I never planned on someone like you, Davey Jacobs,” he mumbled, scrolling through all the songs he had downloaded.

_The End of All Things_ by Panic! At The Disco wasn’t perfect, but it was close enough to how Jack was feeling right now.

He took his time on this one, drawing by the porch light and shading to perfection after the outline was done.

The result was a life-like drawing of a kind of smile Jack had never seen from Davey in real life, but was permanently seared into his brain from his dreams.

Jack groaned. This was definitely going to make things awkward.

...

Knowing avoiding Davey would probably just be more suspicious, (though more to his brothers and friends than to Davey himself, probably) Jack spent the next couple days just trying to make everything seem like normal, flirting a little, but feeling too uncomfortable to make any real moves.

Jack didn’t feel right, with how he’d apparently been dreaming about Davey since before they even met. He felt like that was creepy, having dreamt about kissing someone he barely knew.

It wasn’t like Jack could control his dreams, but he still felt weird about it. Especially with how what he remembered from his dreams was _stupid_ accurate to how Davey was in real life.

It was weird, it was creepy, and Jack really wished he could just forget all his dreams, but he couldn’t, so things were weird.

While actually in class or hanging out with Davey, of course, Jack couldn’t ignore his feelings or think about something else. He sassed because he didn’t know how not to, flirted a little because it made sense in the context of whatever conversation, and tried to pretend to himself that he didn’t want to be around Davey when in reality he _really_ wanted to kiss that boy just like in his dreams.

Why did Davey have to feel so familiar? Why did he have to be so goddamn attractive? Jack just wished things could be simple, because he didn’t _not_ want to be around Davey. He _did_ want to. He _really_ did. Being around him just made Jack go down thought trains of thought that made him uncomfortable.

But, luckily, the rest of his friends had plenty of issues, so, while not actually _with_ Davey, Jack could pretend like nothing weird was going on in his life.

Well, no more weird than was Jack’s normal, at least.

Actually, the addition of Katherine was interesting and new. She was definitely one of Jack’s, though there was something odd about her friendship.

According to the fellas, Kath never talked to any of them, and was cold and distant when any of them tried to talk to her. Whenever Jack tried to ask about her family, she only ever told him that she was an only child and still had both her parents. Beyond that, she always diverted to talking about something else.

Of course, this was more than a little suspicious. It made Jack think that she had issues they _should_ probably talk about, but unfortunately, he wasn’t sure she trusted him enough that he’d get an honest answer.

Well, unfortunately, you couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped. Jack had pretty much mastered the art of being able to tell the difference between when someone did want to talk about their problems but was too scared to, and when someone actually didn’t want to talk, but Katherine was giving him mixed signals. She was confusing, seeming like she wanted to talk but also like she didn’t trust Jack enough yet.

He wasn’t sure what to do about that. He’d never _not_ been able to tell before. Given that he didn’t want to scare her away, there wasn’t much he _could_ do, so Jack focused on his other friends and their problems. Hopefully, Katherine would tell him what was wrong on her own time.

Buttons, however, needed help now, on Thursday morning before school, a little off from where everybody else was hanging out.

“Kid, you’s worryin’ for nothin’. I can guarantee ya right now he likes ya back.”

Buttons stopped pacing for a second, “Did he tell ya that?”

”Nah,” Jack said, “He didn’t have to. Trust me. I’s known Elmer longer than ya. He’s a smiley kid—always has been—but I ain’t ever seen him smile like he does for you.”

”He smiles like sunshine,” Buttons muttered absentmindedly, “I mean-that is—“

Jack smiled. As awkward as figuring out who to give a shovel talk to always was and as weird as it could be when two kids, both of whom he saw as little siblings, started going out, Jack honestly loved seeing his kids in love.

Hell, he just loved seeing them happy, and even the awkward, pining, kind of painful phase before whoever was meant to be together got together usually went along with that.

Of course, there were exceptions to that, like in 8th grade when, Jack didn’t know the details, but he could tell that Finch was hurting over Albert and Albert was hurting over Race and it didn’t get better for _months_ , but that was kind of an outlier.

And besides, Albert and Finch did get together in the end (with a little outside intervention), so it ended up alright, anyway.

In this case, Jack knew how to read his friends well enough to have seen Buttons’s crush long before he told him. And though the poor kid was too shy to make a move without Jack _majorly_ psyching him up for it, he was worrying for nothing.

Of course, Jack wasn’t going to straight up _tell him_ how head over heels Elmer was for him, (and how he’d vented to Jack about it multiple times) also being too shy to just suck it up and tell Buttons how he felt.

Ah, poor kids. Mutual pining was so sad.

“I get it, kid, you’re whipped for him. The question is, what’re ya gonna do about it?”

Buttons huffed, “I think the real question is why ya call me ‘kid’ when you’s actually only 5 months older than me.”

”I call Specs ‘kid’ and I’m 12 _days_ older than him. Now answer the question.”

”I don’t know, okay, Jack? Probably nothin’!”

“No. You’re gonna make a move, okay? Cause if ya don’t, neither will Elmer, because he’s more concerned with you bein’ happy than you reciprocatin’ his feelings.”

”I want him to be happy, too... I just don’t see how you could know for sure he wants to be happy with _me_.”

Jack groaned. He loved all of his boys and girls, even the shy ones, but damn if they didn’t frustrate the hell out of him.

“Buttons, have ya ever noticed how he watches ya when you’re runnin’ dance choreography?”

”No? I’m tryin’ to learn choreography!”

”Once we start rehearsals for the Fall Musical, try glancin’ over at him. Chances are if he’s not in that number—which, let’s face it, El’s more of a singer—he’s watchin’ you with this dreamy look on his face. And besides that, have ya noticed how he touches you whenever he can?”

“Elmer touches everyone! We all do! Specs told me that all our love language is touch!”

”Fair,” Jack admitted, “But Elmer does this thing where he leans into hugs with you, just a little. And he does that with Jojo and Romeo and me a bit, too, but _more_ with you.”

”That seems like you’s stretchin’ things,” Buttons said, “I just... I don’t wanna get hurt, Jack. And nothin’ you’s sayin’ sounds like ya know for sure.”

Jack sighed. He _was_ stretching things. That didn’t mean he wrong, but... he couldn’t quite explain how he knew, but he _knew_. He’d known even before either of them actually _told_ him.

He just _did_ , the same way he knew before Ike texted the group chat a selfie of him kissing Hotshot on the cheek, the way he knew before Romeo burst into his room without knocking to ask advice on flirting with Specs, the way he knew before he accidentally walked in on Blink and Mush having their first kiss.

There really was only one more argument to try to make.

”Buttons, I don’t got hard evidence, but... I’m _sure_. I _know_ Elmer’s so gone for ya it’s stupid. I can’t really explain it. I’m just... I’m good at readin’ people—my boys and girls more than anyone—and I’s predicted everyone else who’s got together so far and been right. You trust me, right?”

Buttons nodded slowly.

“Trust me on this. I ain’t gonna tell ya when to make a move or how to do it, but—“

” _Can_ you tell me how to do it?” he blurted, “Please? I ain’t sayin’ I’m gonna do it soon, but assumin’ I do, I don’t... I don’t know how to... do that. Makin’ moves.”

Jack was a little surprised by that, but he nodded, “Okay. Not to sound cliché, but pretend I’m him. What do you think ya should say?”

Buttons took a deep breath, “Um... Elmer, I... I like you. Like that. I _like_ like ya a lot and... and I’d really like to be... _boyfriends_ , if you want that, too.”

”Okay,” Jack nodded, “Good. That’s a good start.”

”It’s super awkward and ya know it.”

”Okay, yeah, but trust me, El won’t care. He likes ya the way you are. We can still practice it a couple more times if you want.”

”Well...” Buttons shrugged, “What would you say to ask your crush out?”

Jack froze. To ask Davey out... how would he voice that? How _could_ he? How could he let him know that he was _literally_ the boy of his dreams without making it creepy?

“Wait,” Buttons grinned, “Is Crutchie actually right? I didn’t believe him!”

”Don’t say anything,” Jack warned.

”Well, what _are_ ya gonna say to Davey? He’s nice—I think all the fellas will approve of him.”

Jack shrugged, “I dunno, kid. I’m not sure I’m gonna say anythin’ yet.”

”Why not? Davey’s cool.”

”Yeah, but...”

Jack wasn’t going to tell him the real reason, so he bullshitted something real fast.

”I’m... busy. I couldn’t give a relationship the kind of time someone like Davey deserves.”

Well, that wasn’t the _main_ reason, but it was actually true.

“That’s a pretty sad reason not to say anythin’.”

“Maybe,” Jack admitted.

Jack usually _wasn’t_ happy to have to leave for class, but today, he was definitely glad when the bell rang.

...

School passed without event that day, (honestly, that was more suspicious than if something did happen. they were jinxed. something _really_ bad was going to happen soon.) and Jack managed to have a conversation with Davey that wasn’t awkward.

Of course, his brothers noticed that, and even Medda noticed how he was still smiling about it by the time she was saying goodnight to him and Crutchie.

”So, how are things with this boy, Davey?”

Jack groaned, “There’s no _thing_ with Davey, Mom.”

”Dude, you’re _whipped_ ,” Crutchie said pointedly, “It’s obvious.”

”Jack’s gonna get a boyfriend!” Romeo singsonged, leaning in the doorway.

”Shouldn’t you be in bed, kiddo?” Medda asked.

”Sorry, Ma, just gettin’ some water.”

”Gettin’ water, huh?” Jack asked as Ro came in and flopped on Crutchie’s bed.

”Yup! But your love life is so much more interestin’!”

”I don’t have a love life!”

Crutchie snorted, ”Not yet, anyway.”

”So, what’s this Davey Jacobs like?” Medda asked conspiratorially, “He must be pretty special, if Jack’s chasing him.”

”Mom!”

”He’s a genius,” Crutchie informed her, ignoring Jack, “Honestly, I don’t know what he’s doin’ still in high school.”

”He’s super chill with, like, everythin’,” Romeo added, “But in a good way! Like, he stopped us from snortin’ pixie sticks, but—“

”You were gonna snort pixie sticks?” Medda asked pointedly.

”But we didn’t!” Romeo pointed out, “Cause Davey stopped us! But don’t worry—he’s not a total stick in the mud. He pretty much rolls with whatever weird shit we say. He had some pretty good insight about if Luke Skywalker or Captain America would win in a fight.”

”Is that even a competition?” Crutchie asked, “Luke can move shit with his mind! Captain America is just a bisexual disaster with a frisbee!”

”Boys, language.”

”Sorry, Medda.”

”Care to join in, Jack?” Crutchie asked.

”He has a twin sister and a little brother,” Jack muttered, “Oh, by the way, he’s comin’ to the sleepover.”

Ah yes. The annual theatre club sleepover. Where they all slept over on the stage, sang along to songs from musicals, and played corny acting games. They’d been doing it since middle school, at the beginning of each school year after their first meeting, and it was an opportunity not just to have fun, but to choose their shows for the year.

”You actually got him to come?” Romeo asked incredulously.

”Shut up! I have more game than you!”

”Honestly, I’m not sure which of you has more game,” Crutchie admitted, “You’s both terrible.”

”Family meetin’ without me? What’re we talkin’ ‘bout?”

Jack groaned as Race came in and sat down on his bed next to their mom.

”The Benvolio to Jack’s Mercutio,” Romeo said teasingly.

”The Octavius to his Jedidiah,” Crutchie agreed.

”Ooh,” Race pretended to swoon, “Davey Jacobs.”

Jack tried to tune out his brothers’ cackling.

”Well, I’d love to meet this boy,” Medda said with a smile, “He sounds great, Jack.”

”He is, but—shut up, boys—you’ll meet him at the sleepover next week. So you all can get off my back until then, okay?”

”Okay,” Crutchie laughed, “Have ya met his sister yet? What was her name again?”

”Sarah. And no. I ain’t got any classes with her.”

”Oh!” Crutchie grinned, “I’ve got Digital Arts with her! She’s awesome. She’ll fit right in with the group.”

”Yeah, yeah, yeah, can’t wait to meet her,” Romeo said dismissively, standing up, “Back to things that are actually important, I just need to tell ya, big brother: if you think I’m gonna not tease you about Davey in the next week...”

He flopped over Jack’s lap and Jack fought the urge to punch him.

”You’re wrong!”

”It is our solemn duty as younger brothers to give you shit,” Race agreed.

”Race.”

”Sorry, Mom.”

Jack threw his hands up, “Is anyone in this house actually going to sleep tonight?!”

Romeo yelped as he was shoved off the bed, but he and Race did leave, singing a song about Jack and Davey sitting in a tree.

Crutchie chuckled, “Since Ro’s about as intimidatin’ as a chipmunk and Race ain’t one to scare people, looks like I’ll be givin’ a shovel talk on my own this time.”

” _Good night,_ Crutchie.”

”Yeah, night.”

Medda smiled, “You know, I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you loosen up a little, Jack. You worry too much for someone your age.”

” _Good night_ , Mom.”

”Alright, good night, sweetheart. Love you both.”

”Love you, too,” they both said as she left the room.

The room was silent for exactly five seconds.

”I get to be your best man, right?”

”Oh my God, _shut up_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest will be along soon! I just needed to post this before it got deleted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack tries to cope with increasing drama and awkwardness. Davey starts proving that Jack can lean on him when Race gets hurt.

_Jack flopped down on the couch with a grin, “That was amazing.”_

_Davey rolled his eyes as he sat down next to him, “You are ridiculous.”_

_”David! It’s my wedding night! I have an excuse to be happy!”_

_”Well, yeah, but—“_

_”You married the wrong twin, Kelly,” Sarah huffed, “Congratulations.”_

_”Says the lovely Mrs. Kelly.”_

_Sarah slapped him with a pillow.  
_

_Honestly, Jack_ was _happy. Sure, in a perfect world, this never would’ve happened, but if Jack had to marry someone he didn’t love, he definitely could’ve done worse than Sarah._

_Plus, at least they’d gotten to have a real wedding party, which meant wedding food. Katherine and Davey hadn’t gotten that, having to elope when old Joe Pulitzer wouldn’t give them his blessing._

_Sarah groaned, “I should’ve married Spot.”_

_”Then I’d have to marry Race,” Kath pointed out._

_”I wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” Davey said good-naturedly, but still seeming grumpy.  
_

_Kath laughed, “He’s a good friend and I love him dearly, but...”_

_Jack laughed, too, “I think watchin’ ya kiss Race might actually be worse than watchin’ ya kiss Davey.”_

_”Thanks,” Davey said dryly._

_”Oh, watchin’ you and Kath kiss was plenty bad, but Kath and Race? Tell me the idea of that pairin’ don’t make ya cringe.”_

_”I can’t,” he admitted._

_”Exactly! At least you two would make sense together.”_

_”Except for the fact that everyone in this room is queer,” Sarah pointed out._

_”Except for that,” Jack agreed._

_He was still happy, even if all 3 of the others weren’t._

_This was Les’s idea, oddly enough. The kid had taken it pretty well that his two older siblings were queer, and the only part that threw him when he first found out was how it was so dangerous._

_He’d come up with the perfect way to hide it._

_Have Sarah marry Jack and Davey marry Katherine. The two couples live together to save money and nobody questions it._

_Nobody besides family had to know who really occupied which bedroom._

_And best of all, at least in Jack’s book, Les and the Jacobs parents were only a block away. Specs and Romeo were just over in Queens. Crutchie was nearby, too, working at the bar down the street, and though none of the rest of Jack’s kids had left the Lodging House yet, they were close enough to send for help if needed and for Jack to stay updated on who was moving out and where._

_Jack still had trouble thinking of himself as an adult, even at age 20. H_ _e still felt like a kid, but he was a man. He was married, now, for fuck’s sake._

_And though he didn’t regret it, Sarah’s remark of him marrying the wrong twin did give Jack pause. He_ wished _he could marry Davey. He wished Sarah and Katherine could get married. He wished Race and Spot, Specs and Romeo, Albert and Finch, and all the others could just marry the one they wanted instead of jumping through hoops to make sure nobody found out who they really loved._

_Still, there were worse hoops to jump through than this one. Jack loved Sarah and Kath like sisters, anyway._

_And he got to see Davey every day this way, got to share a bed with him even if no one could ever know about it._

_Katherine seemed to have a similar thought as they locked gazes, if the sparkle in her eyes was any indication. It almost made Jack laugh._

_“Shall we retire, Miss Sarah?” she asked smugly._

_It took a couple seconds for Sarah to realize what she meant, but when she did, she seemed to choke on air, blushing._

_Davey sniggered. Jack barely managed to school his expression before Sarah’s glare fell on him._

_”Shut up.”_

_”We didn’t say anything, Saz,” Davey said innocently._

_”That’s right, dear. Nothin’ at all.”_

_“Call me ‘dear’ again and see what happens.”_

_“Sarah, dear, do you really wanna do this_ now _?” Kath asked sweetly._

_Sarah contemplated for a second, then simply took her hand and headed for their bedroom._

_”Have fun, sis,” Davey called._

_”You, too,” Sarah called back._

_”Have fun, Kath,” Jack said, because he felt left out._

_”Back at you.”_

_Jack’s brain didn’t fully register any of those jokes until he and Davey were in_ their _bedroom._

_For a second, they just stared at each other._

_Jack didn’t think things had been so awkward since that first day they’d started selling together, almost 3 years ago, now._

_Then Davey took a deep breath, “So... how was the wedding from your side?”_

_Jack cleared his throat, “It was nice. Seein’ all the guys in one place again was good. I didn’t think Spot would show up—not that I’d care, if he didn’t—but I guess it’s good to know he loves Racer enough to suffer seein’ me. And the food was amazing.”_

_Davey chuckled, “That was why you thought it was amazing? My mother’s cooking?”_

_”Well, it’s not as if I’d ever enjoy kissin’ Sarah.”_

_Jack realized something and felt a flush of offense._

_”Did you think I would?”_

_”What? No, Jack, I—“_

_”Just cause I like both girls and boys don’t mean I want both at the same time,” Jack said defensively, “You’s the only one I‘m ever gonna want_ _, Davey. I_ chose _you.”_

_Davey shook his head quickly, “No! Jack, I know! I’d never think that of you, Jackie. I just... I didn’t know how you could say that havin’ to marry someone you don’t love was amazing.”_

_That was... fair, honestly._

_Jack grinned, “So, you’re jealous.”_

_”Jack.”_

_”You’re jealous that you can’t marry all this, yourself.”_

_Davey rolled his eyes as he let Jack put his arms around him, “Jack Kelly, you are still the most ridiculous person I know.”_

_”Ya ain’t denyin’ it!” Jack pointed out, “You—“_

_Davey kissed him to shut him up, not that Jack was complaining._

_”Of course I wish I could marry you myself,” he admitted, “But as terrible, for multiple reasons, as watching you kiss my sister was, it’s the best solution we have_ _. I have to admit, this could be a lot worse.”_

_”Yeah,” Jack agreed, “At least I love Saz as a friend.”_

_”Yeah, and I did briefly have a crush on Kath when we were kids.”_

_”What?!”_

_Davey laughed again and booped Jack on the nose, “Who’s jealous, now?”_

_Jack rolled his eyes. He knew he’d signed up for this, picking someone who could match wits with him on anything._

_He wouldn’t want it any other way._

_”Love you, Dave,” he mumbled._

_”Love you, too.”_

_These weren’t perfect circumstances, but Jack was happy._

...

Jack had been sitting in art class for the last 15 minutes, staring at a blank sheet of paper and, oddly for him, having no desire to fill it.

He’d hit ‘skip’ on like ten songs and none of them held inspiration.

It seemed that Kath was feeling about the same, with how Jack would hear her pencil scratching for a few seconds, then it would stop and she’d erase everything with a huff. Whatever she was listening to was so loud that Jack could hear it a bit after he gave up on his own music, but she clearly wasn’t inspired by it.

Today was just not a day for creating. There was no other way to describe it.

Jack took out his phone under the desk, scrolling through his contacts, to look for someone who’d be down to text during class.

Albert? No. The problem with that was that he would _definitely_ be down to text during class. Albert needed to _pay attention_ during class for once.

Bart? Maybe, but that might be awkward, considering Bart was part of this group that was kind of just _parallel_ to the main group. As in, Jack still had an interest in keeping them safe, but he didn’t particularly _know_ any of them or feel a need to keep them close.

Blink? Nah, he would just tell Jack to leave him alone. Oddly enough, Blink actually _liked_ school.

Buttons? No. Each member of the group had a rebellious streak, but Buttons didn’t really use his unless it was _really_ necessary.

Crutchie? No. He’d know what had Jack off-rhythm in an instant. Jack really didn’t need his teasing right now.

Elmer? ...possibly. Elmer had serious ADHD, and therefore could multitask pretty successfully. Plus, he had English, and could probably use a distraction from how frustrating that subject was for him with his dyslexia.

And... well, Race had been acting weird lately, and Elmer had English with Race, so Jack could ask him to check on him.

**Hey if you’re not too busy can you take a glance at Race??? How is he???**

A few seconds later, a reply came.

**Uh...**

**I think you texted the wrong person.**

_Shit._

Checking the contact name to make sure this was who Jack thought it was...

He just accidentally texted Davey. Great. This was just great.

**Jack: Sorry Davey that was meant for Elmer just ignore that**

**Davey: No wait what’s up with Race???**

Jack froze because honestly, he hadn’t expected Davey to ask. Race and Davey knew each other a little, having PE together, but weren’t close. Jack kind of expected they _would_ be, if they actually had a conversation, but PE wasn’t the best environment for making friends.

Plus, Race and Albert had been sticking together like glue, avoiding Jack and Davey, as an extra-annoying method of wingmanning. The little shits.

**Jack: Physically I think he’s fine but he’s been acting weird**

**Davey: Weird how?**

**Jack: He’s avoiding me**

**Jack: He does that when he’s hiding something**

**Jack: And Race wears his heart on his sleeve**

**Jack: So if he’s hiding something it’s usually something’s wrong and he doesn’t want to worry anyone**

**Davey: What do you mean by wrong?**

Jack hesitated, then carefully typed out an explanation.

He hesitated more before sending it, but ultimately did. Something in him, some fundamental instinct, told him that he could trust Davey.

**Jack: You know me and my brothers are adopted right?**

**Davey: Yeah. Why?**

**Jack: I ain’t spilling secrets that ain’t mine but**

**Jack: Race and me knew each other before Medda**

**Jack: We met a couple years before when I got sent to the group home Race was living in**

**Jack: We were 9**

**Jack: We were the youngests in that place**

Jack hesitated again before sending his next text. Davey wasn’t typing, even though he had seen all the texts prior, probably guessing that Jack wasn’t done yet.

He took a deep breath as he hit send.

**Jack: It wasn’t a good place  
**

Jack held his breath as the icon that meant Davey was typing popped up, but it didn’t stay long.

**Davey: I’m sorry.**

Somehow, that was... well, it was definitely better than the people who asked for a longer explanation. And Jack definitely appreciated that Davey wasn’t pushing, wasn’t offering to help, even.

Jack had always hated when people offered help, acting like they could understand what he’d been through. Sure, having his friends be mindful of triggers was nice, but the revolting kind of pity that adults always gave never helped. That look they gave you like you were about to break. A lot of kids did it, too, and Jack hated it. It was patronizing. It was humiliating. Quite frankly, Jack just wished people could realize that if he hadn’t broken by now, he wasn’t going to.

Davey wasn’t doing the patronizing pity thing. He was just expressing basic sympathy, and...

And Jack was over-analyzing this. He should probably text back.

**Jack: Long story short I always tried to protect Race**

**Jack: Emphasis on tried**

**Jack: But we both still go through rough times because of that place occasionally  
**

**Jack: I get angry**

**Jack: Race gets quiet  
**

**Jack: That’s how I know something’s wrong**

**Davey: He doesn’t seem very quiet in PE**

**Davey: Has he been quiet at home?**

Jack typed out a quick ‘yes,’ but then had to erase it.

Race _hadn’t_ been quiet at home. Or even at school, in the one class Jack had with him. He seemed like... like Race, really, talking and joking around with everybody, just...

Just not Jack.

Not Crutchie or Romeo, either, now that he was thinking about it.

God, how had Jack not realized it? Race wasn’t talking to _him_. He wasn’t talking to anyone in their family, but...

But nobody else had said anything about being worried, which meant he was talking to them, and in PE, he talked to Albert and even Davey a fair amount.

**Jack: That little shit**

**Jack: Nvm he’s probably fine**

**Jack: He’s hiding something from me specifically**

**Davey: I’m glad he’s okay.** ****

**Jack: Yeah but now I really wanna know what he’s hiding** ****

**Davey: Well what has he been doing besides avoiding you?**

**Jack: He’s been spending a lot of time with Albert**

**Jack: And they’re best friends so that’s kinda normal  
**

**Jack: But it’s been more lately**

**Davey: What do they talk about?**

**Jack: Idk I don’t listen in on my little brother’s conversations** ****

**Davey: Well what does it look like?**

**Davey: Is it warm? Angry? Emotionally charged?**

**Jack: The best word for it is probably teasing**

**Davey: And you’re SURE Albert and Race aren’t together?**

**Jack: YES**

**Jack: Sorry**

**Jack: But THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN**

**Davey: You’re sure?**

**Jack: Albert’s with Finch**

**Jack: Also I think I know my own little brother‘s feelings**

**Davey: Ok.**

**Davey: Does he space off a lot? Just stare into space, kind of dreamy-eyed?**

Jack frowned. That was oddly specific and... accurate.

**Jack: How did you know?**

**Davey: You poor soul.**

**Davey: You really can’t see it?**

**Jack: See what?**

**Davey: I have a sister who’s not especially good at subtlety, so I know what I’m talking about when I say:**

**Davey: Jack.**

**Davey: Race is fine.**

**Davey: He’s got a crush.**

Jack froze.

God, he was stupid. Race was... not in a weird way, but Race was a miracle. He had a way of lighting up a room in a way nobody else could. Crutchie, Elmer, and Jojo had sunshine smiles, too, but none of them _radiated_ light the way Race did. Crutchie because he was so sarcastic (Race was pretty sarcastic, too, but Crutchie even more so.) and Elmer and Jojo because they were so quiet and introverted.

Race... well, he was easy to love. Jack had been noticing eyes lingering too long on him since they were about 12. Mostly girls who’d never get requited interest for obvious reasons, but there had been a few boys. A few _in_ their group, in fact. Besides Albert, Jack was pretty sure Race didn’t even know that Jojo, Elmer, and Mush had all crushed on him at one point or another. Briefly, for all of them, but the interest had been there.

Jack had never liked the idea of any of his brothers dating. Even though Specs was his friend, too, he’d joined forces with Crutchie to give him one hell of a shovel talk. Crutchie had only had a few brief crushes so far, so Jack didn’t really have to worry about him, and he’d kind of assumed that Race was the same.

Mistakenly, apparently. Because now that he was looking for it, the writing was on the wall. Race definitely had feelings for someone and Jack was definitely an idiot.

**Jack: You’d think the little shit would tell me**

**Davey: I don’t know. I didn’t tell Sarah when I got my first crush.**

**Davey: You seem like the ‘beat up anyone who so much as looks at my baby brother’ type.**

That was actually fair, but that didn’t mean Jack had to like it.

**Jack: I mean I guess**

**Jack: Can you really blame me?**

**Jack: I mean have you seen Race?**

**Jack: And I don’t mean that in a weird way**

**Jack: Just in a ‘I’m trying to look out for him’ way  
**

**Jack: I know people have been** **interested in him before**

**Davey: You don’t have to defend yourself.**

**Davey: I get it.**

**Davey: At our old school there was an asshole football player from a rival team one time who wouldn’t leave Sarah alone until she decked him. I wish I’d gotten to punch him too.  
**

**Jack: Shut**

**Jack: Up**

**Jack: Your sister decked a guy???  
**

**Davey: It might have been a football player from this school now that I’m thinking about it.**

**Jack: Hold the fuck up**

**Jack: What was his name?**

**Davey: I don’t know. Delaney or something?**

**Jack: Morris Delancey???**

**Davey: Yeah I think that’s the guy.**

**Jack: Holy shit your sister decked Morris fucking Delancey**

**Davey: You know him?**

Did Jack know him? He’d only been at war with Morris and his brother since middle school. Those two dipshits were a few years older, and somehow managed to get away with thinking homophobia was funny.

Sure, they supposedly had a dark backstory—they did live with their uncle instead of their parents, so it was probably true—but that didn’t give them a free pass to be assholes. Jack had a dark backstory. Race had a dark backstory. Crutchie and Romeo had dark backstories. Hell, plenty of Jack’s friends had it just as bad or worse than the Delancey brothers and it didn’t turn them into monsters.

Yeah, the Delanceys had graduated last year and Jack was still carrying a grudge. He had no intention of letting it go.

And he knew it was Morris because Oscar didn’t play football. That piece of shit had been going up against Specs in debate club all through freshman year, and though he probably _could_ be in football if he wanted, he favored debating with gay freshmen about if they deserved the right to exist.

**Jack: Hell yeah I know him**

**Jack: He’s a BASTARD**

**Jack: AND SO’S HIS BROTHER**

**Jack: But anyway gimme the deets what did your sister do to Morris?**

**Davey: She punched him in the face** **really hard.**

**Davey: Like, so hard she actually knocked him out.  
**

**Jack: D a m n**

**Jack: I might need to meet your sister  
**

**Davey: Easy Cowboy, you’re not her type.**

**Jack: What**

**Jack: No**

**Jack: I just wanna meet the girl who decked Morris Delancey**

**Jack: Maybe get an autograph**

**Jack: Hopefully make friends**

**Jack: I prefer boys anyway so if anyone has to worry it’s you**

Oh shit. Jack hadn’t meant to actually _send_ that last text.

Shit. Jack was better at keeping secrets than Race or Romeo, but he wore his heart on his sleeve, too. This was why he was putting _conscious effort_ into not appearing too interested—because he _knew_ it would make things weird. And it had been a full ten seconds and Davey hadn’t texted back yet.

_Calm down, Jack. It’s almost certainly not as bad as you think it is. What do you know?_

Jack forced himself to listen to the voice in his head. He took a deep breath and focused on listing out what he knew.

Jack knew that while Davey was religious (Jewish, to be precise) he wasn’t homophobic. He’d been told about some of the group’s relationships and was smart enough that he’d probably guessed about the ones he _hadn’t_ been told about. He hadn’t bolted or tried to tell them it was wrong or anything.

Jack knew that Davey and him had only known each other for a few days, but had already settled into a comfortable rhythm. They were fast friends, and one comment probably wouldn’t ruin it.

Also, Jack knew that his text didn’t say he was interested in Davey specifically. It said that he was more interested in boys than girls, which was true. It didn’t say much else beyond their usual banter.

It was fine. This was fine. Jack was just over thinking things as per fucking usual.

”Heads up,” Kath hissed suddenly, poking him with her pencil.

Jack looked up from his lap, putting his phone under his leg just in time to avoid Denton seeing it.

Unfortunately, all he had to show was an empty page.

Well, at least Katherine didn’t have anything, either.

Denton grimaced sympathetically, “No inspiration, today?”

Kath just shrugged.

Jack shook his head, “No, sir. I got nothin’. It’s just... today’s just...”

”Friday,” Denton said, nodding, “Yeah, first week of having to get up early, I know. Believe it or not, we teachers are feeling it, too.”

Jack shrugged, “I don’t think that’s it. I work fine when I’m tired. It’s just...”

”It’s not a day for creating,” Katherine mumbled.

Huh. Weird. Jack distinctly remembered thinking that exact thing.

Denton sighed, “Yeah, Katherine, I’m feeling that, too. There’s just something in the air.”

”Like a storm,” Jack suggested.

”Like a storm,” Denton agreed, “Like something bad’s gonna happen.”

Katherine pulled her other earbud out, “So, what do we do about it?”

Denton shrugged, “Not much we _can_ do. Everybody gets blocked sometimes. I’ve gotten artist’s block many times. It’s frustrating, but you just have to wait for your art senses to come back.”

Jack nodded solemnly, “Like when Zuko’s powers were all out of whack when he first joined the gaang in Season 3.”

Denton smirked, “You know, I actually _got_ that reference for once, Jack. Yeah. It’s exactly like that. You’ll find your magical sun temple sooner or later. Don’t worry. You too, Katherine.”

Kath huffed in frustration, “I’ve gotten blocks before, but it’s never been this bad. I feel more like Lin Beifong after Amon took her powers away.”

”That means your writin’ powers will come back,” Jack said optimistically.

“By all means, where’s Avatar Korra?”

Jack snorted. When she felt like talking to him, Kath was a riot.

Denton shrugged, “I think you’re gonna have to be your own Korra, Katherine. Maybe you could write about that.”

”Sorry, but how?”

”I don’t know,” Denton admitted, “It’s _your_ writing.”

At that point, he was distracted someone spilling a ton of paint on the other side of the classroom, but Jack didn’t exactly feel like addressing his own block, so he decided to bother Kath about hers instead.

Jack elbowed her, “Hey! You should write somethin’ about a modern Avatar!”

”You want me to write Avatar fanfiction for class?”

“Exactly!”

Katherine rolled her eyes, “You’re a moron.”

”Yup,” Jack agreed, “Have a better idea?”

Kath was silent, and Jack laughed.

”What about you, huh?” she challenged, “I’m not the only one with a blank paper.”

He was hoping she hadn’t noticed that.

”Well, do ya have any ideas for me?”

Kath shrugged, “Why don’t you draw whatever’s bothering you?”

”Who says anythin’s botherin’ me?”

Kath huffed, “Is that a trick question?”

“No?”

”Jack, you are many things. Subtle isn’t one of them. Something’s clearly bothering you, so why don’t you draw it?”

Jack shrugged, “Not exactly sure how to put ‘my little brother has his first serious crush and I dunno who it is’ onto paper.”

”I’m guessing you’re a little protective of your brother,” Kath said.

”I’m guessin’ ya ain’t met Race yet. My brother is a twink.”

”Okay, _wow_.”

“He is!” Jack exclaimed, “Race is pretty of face and dumb of ass—most of my group is, actually— _and_ he’s my brother! I need to put the fear of God in whoever he’s interested in.”

Katherine laughed, “I have to admit, when we first met, I didn’t peg you as the overprotective brother.”

Jack shrugged, “Well, when you’s the oldest of 4, ya learn. Especially when one of ‘em is a sarcastic yet sweet little shit who picks fights with kids bigger than him, one is a blond twink with no self-preservation skills, and one flirts with _literally_ everyone. Somebody’s gotta take care of those 3.”

“Okay, Cowboy.”

“Yeehaw,” Jack said sarcastically.

Kath looked back at her empty paper.

Ah, what the hell? Even if she didn’t answer, Jack felt like he should ask.

”I can’t draw what’s botherin’ me, but why don’t ya write what’s botherin’ you?”

Katherine hesitated.

Jack held his breath. He didn’t want to ruin this friendship. He really liked Kath. They vibed together well.

”I’m a lesbian,” she said quietly.

Jack nodded, “Okay.”

“ _Okay_? That’s what you say? Did you _know_?”

“Not gonna lie; I suspected,” he admitted, “I wasn’t sure, but ya seemed like the type.”

Kath was silent for a second, then, “That’s what’s bothering me. My parents don’t know. They’d probably kick me out if they did.”

”Well, you’s only got a couple more years before ya don’t have to worry ‘bout them anymore,” Jack said optimistically.

Miraculously, that didn’t seem to cheer Kath up at all.

”I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

Kath sighed, “It’s just hard, you know? Sometimes I’m walking on eggshells, desperately trying to lie convincingly and terrified I’m failing and then... sometimes one of them gives me a really good piece of advice, and... they’re still my parents.”

”I _don’t_ really know,” Jack admitted, “Medda was always supportive and before she was my mom I was young enough that I didn’t really think ‘bout crushes.”

”Well, it sucks. Knowing they love me, but they wouldn’t if they knew I liked girls.”

Jack decided not to say that they didn’t really love her if they wouldn’t love her no matter who she loved. He knew that wouldn’t help.

”This is why ya don’t talk to the fellas, ain’t it?” he said instead, realizing, “I’m fine cause Denton won’t say nothin’, but you can’t be seen hangin’ around with the biggest group of gays this side of the Empire State Building.”

Slowly, she nodded.

”My dad is...” she shrugged, “He’s got eyes everywhere. He’s a huge control freak. I can get away with hanging out with you because it seems like you’re friendly with _everyone_ , and I’ve been partnering up with this kid called Elmer in PE, but—“

Jack nodded, “Yeah, I know him.”

”But if I started hanging out with your entire group, I’d be grounded for sure. And that’s if he and Mom _don’t_ figure out the truth about me.”

Jack nodded, “You gotta do whatever it takes to stay safe. That’s the most important thing. But if for some reason ya can’t stay safe, my house is always open if ya needs a place to crash.”

Katherine shot him an unconvinced look, “I met you this week, Jack.”

”Let’s just say I’s got a friend in a similar situation to yours. And a couple of guys in places they can’t always take goin’ back to every night. My family’s guest room’s always open for a reason.”

”Your friend group seems messed up.”

”That sums it up,” Jack agreed, “Now, I ain’t sayin’ ya gotta use it, but how ‘bout I give ya my address, just in case? First rule of bein’ gay in a homophobic home is ya need somewhere to go if shit hits the fan.”

Katherine hesitated, then nodded, “Okay.”

Jack quickly texted her the address, then patted Kath on the back.

“I don’t give a damn that I met you less than a week ago or that ya can’t be seen with us, Kath. You’re one of mine. That means you’re never in it alone.”

”I feel like I should feel threatened by that, but oddly, I don’t.”

Jack shrugged, “You get my point, right?”

”Yeah,” Kath smiled, “Thanks, Jack.”

Jack got a warm feeling inside, knowing he did something right.

”Now,” Kath said with a smirk, “If I’m going to write Avatar fanfiction, you have to draw it. Draw a modern Avatar.”

Jack laughed, “What do they look like?”

”I haven’t decided yet. How about you pick?”

”I’m gonna draw _you_ as the Avatar.”

“Please don’t.”

”Too late!”

Katherine smacked him with her notebook, but Jack just laughed. Maybe today was okay for creating, after all.

“So, how good are ya at defyin’ your parents?”

She shrugged, ”Pretty good. I’ve got a deal with a friend from my old school where we cover for each other. I say I’m going to be with him when I want to do something my parents wouldn’t approve of and he says he’s with me when he goes out with his boyfriend. We keep pretty well updated on each other’s lives so our excuses match up.”

”Sounds like a good friend to have,” Jack said with a grin.

“He is. Why do you need to know?”

Jack grinned, thinking of the sleepover, “If you’s got an excuse to stay out all night next Friday, I think I’s got a time you could hang out with the whole group without anyone findin’ out.”

...

The rest of the day was uneventful until PE, when the teacher announced the new club (which seemed like it was essentially going to be fight club) and Albert asked to truddy up with Jack and Davey for the partner activities for the day.

This was weird for multiple reasons.

One, because Albert and Race had been sticking together away from Jack all week to wingman for him.

Two, because Albert and Race were best friends, and did pretty much everything together, anyway.

And three, because Race was looking at Jack kind of panicked, which... oh. Oh, hell, no.

Albert was ditching Race in hopes he’d have to partner with someone else, and there was only one kid he would be able to count on everyone avoiding.

Sean fucking Conlon. A kid who did seem pretty familiar, but sort of in a bad way. Judging by the group’s gossip, he’d blown off every attempt at friendship besides Hotshot, who had managed to get on good terms with him, but still didn’t seem sure if they were actually friends.

There was one thing Jack’s instincts were telling him about that kid, and that was _danger_.

”The scary Conlon kid? Okay, we’s gonna talk about that later.”

Race looked like he was dying a little inside as he replied, “Okay.”

“That little shit,” Jack mumbled, turning back to Davey, who looked like he was trying not to laugh.

”Oh, shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

”You’re thinkin’ it!”

Davey burst out laughing, “You’re _really_ overprotective of your brother, aren’t you?”

“How’d you react if your little brother was crushin’ on ‘ _Angry McScarypants?!”_

He shrugged, “Probably not like that.”

Albert sniggered.

”Oh, don’t think you’s off the hook, Albie. Ya realize you’re wingmannin’ to help Race get the one with ‘danger’ vibes?”

Albert shrugged, “Yeah, but the heart wants what it wants.”

“ _Albert_.”

”Okay, maybe Conlon has ‘danger’ vibes,” Albert admitted, “But my instincts says he ain’t gonna hurt Race, so it’s fine.”

Jack scoffed, “Oh, _your_ instincts. I feel _so_ much better. As if your instincts ain’t absolute _shit_.”

“You really do everything based on instinct?” Davey asked skeptically.

Jack shrugged, “It’s got me this far.”

”Ditto,” Albert agreed, “Look, to make it to ya, I’ll do sit-ups first, okay?”

”That doesn’t even _remotely_ make it up, but sure.”

”Two of us are gonna have to do sit-ups at the same time,” Davey pointed out, “I can—“

”Nah, I think Jack should go with me,” Albert interrupted, “I’m strong enough that I don’t need someone to hold my feet, anyway.”

Oh. So... this was some strange form of him wingmanning for Jack, too.

Ah, what the hell? It wasn’t like Jack couldn’t scare off Angry McScarypants later.

”How are you doing that so fast?” Davey marveled.

”Albert is ripped,” Jack said simply, doing sit-ups significantly slower.

”Fuck yeah,” Albert said.

“Language,” Davey muttered.

Albert laughed, “Since when did you become my mother?”

”And what’s so bad about bein’ a mom?”

Jack snorted. Was it weird that he found it attractive how Davey wasn’t insulted by being called a mom?

Albert shrugged, “Nothin’. Ya don’t wanna be my mom, though. Trust me.”

”And why’s that?”

”Cause she’s dead.”

Davey stuttered out an apology, but Albert only laughed.

Jack smiled. He remembered when Albert couldn’t even talk about his mom, let alone make jokes about her death.

Unfortunately, they both knew from experience that no matter what you did, deaths of loved ones never really felt okay. But they were also both notorious for using humor as a coping mechanism.

”Well, I lost count for Albert a while ago,” Davey admitted, “But Jack, I got 39? Not bad.”

”I bet you can beat me.”

”I bet I _can’t_.”

“That’s no way to talk. Hey. Y’know what we should talk about?”

”What?”

”Why the fuck Race is crushin’ on the scary Conlon kid and how I can put the fear of God in said scary Conlon kid.”

Davey rolled his eyes and just kept doing sit-ups, but Jack forced himself to focus on Albert. Unfortunately, that jackass was his best bet for finding anything out right now.

”Where’d they even meet? Far as I’s seen, they’s never even talked before.”

”They met in English,” Albert said helpfully.

”And Finch and Elmer didn’t tell me?”

”This may shock you, Cowboy, but we don’t actually tell ya everything.”

”Jack, you know Race is our age, right?” Davey asked gently, “He’s old enough to make his own decisions. He’s not exactly helpless.”

Albert snorted, “I agree with ya, mostly, but that last point is _debatable_.”

“The point is that, yes, I understand you feel the need to protect him, Jack,” Davey said, “But has... what was his name again? Sean?”

”I think so.”

”Has Sean given you any real reason not to trust him?”

”Well...” Jack made a frustrated noise, “No. But my instincts say he’s trouble, and I’m never wrong.”

”He seems familiar, though, too,” Albert pressed, “Blink seemed like trouble at first, too.”

Jack figured ‘Blink wasn’t after Race’ wouldn’t be a good argument.

”Look, Jackie, do you even know if it’s requited?”

That... was actually a really good point.

But, naturally, that wasn’t the part Jack was focused on.

”Did you just call me _Jackie_?”

Davey looked kind of like a deer in headlights, “I—“

”He did,” Albert confirmed with a grin, “Hey, Coach, can I go to the bathroom?”

”Yeah!”

Jack resisted the urge to punch him as Al headed for the bathroom, probably to ditch the rest of the period, knowing him.

It was nice to know that he cared, but Jack really wished he would do it in a less obnoxious way. He really didn’t know how Race did it, tolerating the one who loved to cause chaos as his best friend.

”I...” Davey hesitated, looking at the floor, “I don’t know why I called ya that. I’m sorry if it makes things weird.”

”No, it’s fine,” Jack said quickly, “Not like I can judge, ya know?”

”Yeah, I guess not.”

There was a couple seconds where neither of them knew what to say.

”If you’re really worried about Race, I’ll help you scare away that boy,” Davey said finally, “But I’ll also say that I think you should give him a chance and trust your brother’s judgment.”

”Maybe you’re right,” Jack admitted, “But I absolutely will take ya up on that offer to help scare him away.”

”Noted.”

Great. Usually, Jack couldn’t _stop_ talking when Davey was around, and now he couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

“Um... we should hang out some time. Outside school. If ya want, we could... I dunno, me and my brothers play a lot of Mario Kart, and we’s got an extra controller.”

Jack wasn’t sure if it was his imagination that Davey turned a little red.

”I don’t really know how to play, but yeah, that sounds fun. I’m free pretty much whenever—I live under a rock.”

Jack was so shocked by the fact that Davey Jacobs was actually agreeing to hang out outside of school that he couldn’t think of a response. He hadn’t expected to get this far.

”I know it’s weird,” Davey muttered, “But my mom doesn’t like video games, so me and Sarah never got into them. I think Les plays Fortnite with his friends, but...”

”That’s fine,” Jack said quickly, “I can teach ya.”

Davey smiled, “I’ll look forward to that.”

They just sat there, smiling like idiots at each other until it was time to do something else for class.

...

”Jack!”

Jack stopped, groaning. He’d already had to ask the teacher for help with math in _the first week_ of school today. On top of that, Race had a crush on the shiftiest bad boy in the school. Now Romeo was yelling at him. Besides the parts where he talked to Davey, it had overall been a _shit_ day.

”What is it, Ro—“

Turning around, Jack registered the look on his little brother’s face.

Romeo was crying.

Romeo didn’t cry. Despite his eccentric nature, he was among the toughest people Jack knew.

”Ro, what’s wrong? What is it?”

Jack didn’t mean to sound as urgent as he did. Romeo was clearly distressed enough as it was, openly sobbing in a way he _never_ did.

”Romeo, what is it?”

Romeo choked out a sob, then managed to grab Jack’s hand, dragging him towards the back of the school.

The only two words he could get out made Jack’s heart race with panic.

”It’s Race.”

...

Race was on the ground. He was moving a little but clearly hurt, not trying to get up.

A boy in a red hoodie was kneeling in front of him, talking quietly but urgently, trying to keep him conscious.

Jack collapsed to his knees next to his little brother, but Race didn’t seem to notice. Red hoodie boy ignored him.

”Race?” Jack asked, wishing he could keep his voice as level as Sean Conlon was keeping his.

”Who did this?” Crutchie asked quietly, then louder, “Who did this?”

Jack didn’t know or care when he’d got there.

”I don’t know,” Romeo sobbed, “I just heard yellin’ and I ran back here and-and he was just lyin’ there.”

Sirens were sounding, bringing an ambulance, but Jack could barely hear it.

”Race,” Sean said urgently, “Race, stay awake. Come on, Racer, keep your eyes open. Race, _open your eyes. Please.”_

_No, no, no, no, no._

”Race!” Jack screamed.

Race didn’t respond.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jack could lose a lot of things, but not one of his kids. _Definitely_ not Race.

”Kid, I need you to move so we can get to your friend. Now!”

”Ro, grab Jack. Sir, ya gotta take us with you. He’s our brother—the boy who got soaked.”

“Your brother?”

”Adoptive, technically, but yes.”

”He’s got a pulse! We need to move him out!”

”What’s your name, young man?”

”Cru—Charlie. Charlie Morris.“

”And your brother?”

“Anthony Higgins is the one who’s hurt, but Jack Kelly and Nico Larkin are my brothers, too. You should take—“

”We only have enough space in the ambulance for one of you.”

”Take... take me. Romeo, take care of Jack. Call Mom when you can. Okay?”

“Okay,” Romeo managed to say, though he still sounded terrified. Jack was just barely present enough to wrap his arms around him.

They were taking Race away.

Jack couldn’t fucking breathe.

“J-Jack. You’re hurtin’ me.”

Jack gasped, loosening his grip on his youngest brother.

Fear was doing what it did way too often and giving way to anger. Jack didn’t want to be angry, but it was better than having a panic attack.

Sean Conlon was still crouching where he’d moved to let the paramedics take Race, just staring into space.

Jack pushed Ro to the side and grabbed the kid by his shoulders, shoving him against the wall.

”Did you do this?”

”Jack, calm—“

”What are you talkin’ about?” Sean demanded.

”Did. You. Do. This?” Jack growled, “Did you soak Race, you piece of shit?”

”No,” Sean growled back, “This is what I get for savin’ someone?”

” _Save_ him? Explanation. Now.”

“I heard someone gettin’ soaked back here,” Sean explained, “I didn’t know it was Race when I started beatin’ up the two dipshits soakin’ him, but he was already hurt pretty bad by the time I scared ‘em off.”

Jack groaned, slamming the side of his fist into the wall instead of Sean Conlon’s stupid face.

He had _saved_ Race. That meant Jack couldn’t hurt him, even if he still didn’t exactly approve of anything happening between them.

The look in the kid’s eyes said it was possible, unfortunately. Jack would stake money on the fact that he returned Race’s feelings.

He visibly relaxed as Jack let go of him.

“What did they look like?”

He shrugged, “I didn’t get a good look, but they was maybe a few years older. Both of ‘em were built like thugs. And they had... brown hair? I think?”

”Fuck,” Jack swore under his breath, “The Delanceys.”

”You know them?”

”They’s pieces of homophobic shit. This ain’t the first time they’s given our group trouble—I’m just surprised they were stupid enough to attack one of us in broad daylight.”

”They didn’t seem that bright,” Sean muttered, “They acted like they’d never been in a fight with someone that could actually fight back.”

”They probably haven’t.”

The kid actually _sneered_ , “Well, if they ever fight me again, they ain’t gonna live to see their next.”

Jack actually smirked at that. Maybe this kid wasn’t so bad.

But he had more important things to worry about right now.

Romeo was still clearly freaking out, stuck in a bad headspace, so Jack wrapped one arm around him and pulled out his own phone, dialing Medda.

**“Hello? Jack, what is it?”**

**”Mom, you gotta get to the hospital asap. It’s Race. He’s hurt real bad. Crutchie went in the ambulance with him. Romeo and I are on our way already.”**

**”Oh my—Jack, I’m gettin’ in my car right now. What happened?”**

**”He got soaked. I didn’t see it, but it was probably the Delanceys.”**

**”Oh, God. Well, I’m glad you kept your head. I’ll meet you there.”**

Jack wanted to say that he _hadn’t_ kept his head, that Crutchie was the only one who did, but Medda had already hung up.

“C’mon, Ro,” he mumbled, hauling his youngest brother to his feet.

The nearest hospital was maybe 20 minutes away. If Jack went a little more over the speed limit than he usually did, they could make it in less, but was he willing to risk it with Romeo in the car and one brother already hurt? Weighing the options, Jack decided to decide based on how much traffic there was.

Oh, wait. _Shit_. The cops would probably be coming to ask about what had happened.

“Romeo, are you okay to drive?” he asked, putting his hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eye, “I probably gotta stay and tell the cops what happened.”

Romeo’s eyes were still terrified, clearly somewhere else mentally, “I—“

”I’ll deal with the cops,” Sean Conlon interrupted, “I’m the one who saw those dipshits, anyway. Go see your brother. He needs you.”

Damn. That boy _definitely_ wasn’t as bad as Jack thought.

”Thank you,” was all he tossed over his shoulder as he speed-walked for the car.

...

”We’re here to see our brother.”

The look on the lady behind the desk’s face was questioning, which Jack figured was fair, with how Jack was half Irish and half Mexican but mostly passed for white, and Romeo was very clearly Filipino.

”Well, adopted brother,” he decided to clarify, “But same thing.”

“What’s the patient’s name?” the lady asked.

”Racetrack Higgins,” Jack said before realizing his mistake, “Oh, sorry—nickname. Anthony Higgins.”

”And you’re both his brothers?”

”Yeah,” Romeo piped up.

”Jack Kelly and Nico Larkin,” Jack added, “I know we don’t got the same last name, but legally, we’s brothers.”

The lady was still hesitating, clearly not really believing them.

As much as that made Jack want to punch something, he guessed he couldn’t blame her for being cautious and pasted on a tired smile.

”I have my driver’s license on me if ya need to verify identities.”

She typed something on her computer, “How old are you?”

“Both of us are 16, and so is Ra- Anthony.”

”Then I’m sorry. I can’t let you in without permission from Anthony’s legal guardian.”

Jack bit back a swear, “Ma’am, I’s known him longer than our legal guardian has.”

”That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t let you see him. Will your parents be here soon?”

”Mom’s probably a while away,” Romeo mumbled under his breath.

Damn. He was right. Medda’s theatre was clear across town. Even coming as fast as she could, it would take a while for her to get there.

”I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, then.”

Romeo looked like he was going to protest, but Jack grabbed his hand and headed for the chairs around the waiting room. He had to get out of this situation before one of them said something they’d regret.

”Jack? Romeo?”

What the..?

”Davey,” Jack said, confused as the boy walked up to them, “What’re you doin’ here?”

”My mom works here,” he responded, “What’re you doing here?”

Thinking about why he was there made Jack want to collapse, but he forced himself to smile as he took a seat next to the one Davey had stood up from and pulled Romeo down into the one on his other side.

”Oh, y’know. Race was too dumb not to get soaked, so...”

” _What_?”

Jack sighed, “Remember the guys we texted about? The Delanceys?”

”They fought Race two on one?!”

”If I knows them, it wasn’t much of a fight. They probably just grabbed him, had one hold him still while the other started swingin’.”

Jack didn’t realize his fist was clenched around the arm of the chair until Davey put his own hand over it, trying to make him release some of the tension.

”Is Race okay?” he asked gently but firmly.

Jack laughed brokenly, “I dunno—we can’t see him ‘till our mom gets here, and she’s comin’ from the other side of town. I don’t even know if... I don’t know anythin’! He could be dead already for all I know! I just... there’s no way to know how he is. How he’s doin’.”

”Sure there is.”

Jack hadn’t even realized someone else was there, but there was a girl sitting on Davey’s other side, her facial features unmistakably similar to his.

”I’m assumin’ you’re Sarah?”

“I’m assuming you’re Jack Kelly?”

”The one and only. I’m a big fan of yours, by the way. You’re the girl who punched Morris Delancey in the face. Wish I coulda seen that.”

”Thanks. I’m assuming David told you that. He’s told me a lot about you, too. You seem fun.”

”Thank you!”

”Saz, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s too risky,” Davey said.

”What is?” Jack asked immediately.

Sarah grinned, “Don’t you know that you can get anywhere if you have the right clothes and act like you belong hard enough?”

Jack grinned back, “I think we’s gonna be best friends.”

”Oh no,” Davey groaned.

”It’s the only way,” Sarah pressed, “What would you do if it was Les?”

For a second, Jack didn’t know how Davey was going to react as the twins stared each other down.

Then he sighed.

“Unfortunately, you’re right. Which I guess means I’m in charge of making sure nobody gets arrested.”

Sarah patted his arm, “Well, I’ve got to go pick our little brother up, so you’ll be helping by yourself. Good luck.”

“What?” Davey stammered, “No! I’m not doin’ this al—Sarah!”

Sarah was already halfway out the door.

“I really like her,” Jack said.

Davey sighed, smiling, “I suspected you would. That’s the problem. You’re trouble, she’s trouble—it’s a terrible combination.”

”Only if ya don’t like fun.”

Davey just rolled his eyes.

”Can you flirt later and sneak us into wherever Race is now?” Romeo asked impatiently.

”Wha-we’re not-why would ya think... Romeo!”

”Figure it out later, big brother. The concern right now is Race.”

Davey wasn’t looking Jack in the eye, but he refocused pretty quickly.

“Wait, where’s Crutchie? Isn’t he gonna want in on this?”

”Ooh, Davey Jacobs is actually helping us break into a hospital room?” Romeo asked, delighted, “I didn’t think ya had it in ya!”

Davey rolled his eyes, “I’m not a total stick in the mud. I’m just not as apeshit as the rest of you.”

Jack laughed, knowing he had a point.

”So, where’s Crutchie?”

”Oh, he’s already here,” Jack said, “He went in the ambulance with Race.”

Davey stared at him for a second, then face-palmed.

”What?”

”If Crutchie’s already here, why didn’t ya call and ask him to come down to verify your identities?”

”Oh...” Romeo laughed, “Why didn’t we think of that?”

”It wasn’t our turn on any of the brain cells,” Jack said solemnly, “I dunno who has them right now, but it certainly ain’t us.”

”It’s probably Specs. My boy usually has at least one.”

”Or maybe Crutchie,” Davey suggested, “Because he clearly has more sense than either of ya right now.”

Jack nodded, pulling his phone out, “Textin’ Crutchie now.”

”Hey!” Romeo realized as Jack typed out his message, “Now that Davey’s in the group, how many brain cells do we have? Collectively, we all had... wait, how many did we have before?”

”Hmm,” Jack thought about it while waiting for Crutchie to respond, “Well, Specs has one and Crutchie has one, but they don’t like to share theirs, and then... Finch usually hangs on to his, but is occasionally willing to share. Besides that, Elmer or Mush usually has one and the rest of us use the last one whenever we can get a turn on it. So, we got 5.”

“I thought you had one.”

”Oh, I did. Where did ya think that last brain cell the rest of us share came from?”

”Aw. Thanks for your contribution!”

“Well, someone had to take one to make sure the rest of the team didn’t die doin’ somethin’ stupid.”

”You two are ridiculous,” Davey declared.

Romeo grinned, “I think ya got 5 brain cells all on your own!”

”Thanks, man.”

”The real question is whether you’re willin’ to share those brain cells,” Jack pointed out.

Davey sighed, “I’m holdin’ on to at least one at all times, but I’d be willing to share if it’ll keep all of you from pulling dumb shit like sneaking around a hospital when you don’t have to.”

Jack nodded respectfully, “Thank you, kind sir.”

”You’re welcome, you poor soul.”

At that point, Crutchie came down to get them.

...

Jack hadn’t seen Race this still since... well, he didn’t want to think about the last time he saw Race this still.

Sure, Race had been hurt a few times in the last 5 years. Like the time he broke his wrist falling out of a tree when they were 12. The time he sprained his knee dancing when they were 14. The many times he got in fights in middle school, mostly with the Delanceys, despite the fact that he couldn’t actually fight.

But he hadn’t been hurt this bad, so bad he was unconscious from his injuries and pain meds, since before they got adopted by Medda.

The last time Jack had seen Race like this was that one terrible night when—

No. Jack couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t have a panic attack right now. His little brother needed him.

He hadn’t moved from Race’s bedside in almost 9 hours.

Race actually had woken up briefly a couple hours ago, but Jack still hadn’t relaxed, even as the doctors assured them that he was going to be fine, that the worst injury he had was a mild concussion. He would have to stay the night at the hospital, but he would recover within a couple weeks.

Crutchie and Romeo had gone home a bit ago, but Jack was planning on staying however long he had to until his little brother woke up.

Medda was going to stay the night, too, but she was driving the other two home and wasn’t back yet.

Why hadn’t he _been there_? Why hadn’t he stopped the Delanceys from hurting Race before they got a chance to? Why hadn’t he fucking _done something_ to protect one of the people he loved more than anything in the world?

“Don’t worry, Racer,” he mumbled, “I ain’t gonna let this happen again. I’m here for ya. No matter what.”

...

_Of all the pictures Jack had concocted as possible futures, some good, some bad, this was worse than any he’d thought of._

_America was getting involved in the war over in Europe, and they were drafting soldiers from all over the country._

_It wasn’t fucking fair.  
_

_”Kid, everyone is here if you’re ready to get started.”_

_Medda’s voice was gentle, but had an edge to it, like she was trying not to cry._

_Jack had known her as long as he could remember. She’d been as good as another mother to him, and though she was old enough to be getting gray now, she was still the best singer he knew._

_If she was feeling the way Jack was right now, knowing that people she saw as family were going to be going off, putting themselves in danger, and probably not all coming back, he was impressed that she was strong enough not to cry, not that he’d ever doubted her strength._

_Medda Larkin was one of the most powerful people Jack knew. He’d learned his confidence from her as a child and had always wanted to be like her, though never interested in show business.  
_

_Not that the stage could only be used for shows. That certainly wasn’t what they were using it for now._

_Remembering the last time he’d stood on this stage made it even harder not to cry, himself._

_”Hey,” Medda said firmly, “You’ll be alright, Jack.”_

_Jack bit back a retort that she didn’t know that, or that she should be worrying about others more than him._

_”Would she be proud of me?” he asked instead._

_Medda took a deep breath, knowing exactly who he was talking about._

_”Yes,” she said, dead serious, “Kiddo, Annie would be so proud of you. Your dad would be, too.”_

_Jack scoffed, but Medda shook her head.  
_

_”I’m not talking about the man you knew, Jack._ _I’m talking about your dad. He would be so proud of you. It really is a shame that he died before you could know him.”_

_”What was he like?” Jack asked, because he had never had the courage to ask, but now he might not get another chance.  
_

_Medda shrugged, “Ambitious, young, and charming. Charismatic almost to the point of cocky. He was my friend, too—I think you forget that sometimes. He was suave and confident in flirting with me and every girl I performed with.”_

_She chuckled, and Jack found himself smiling, too._

_”Except for one girl. Poor boy couldn’t talk to her without tripping over words to save his life. It really is a miracle Anita ever agreed to go out with him.”_

_“So, Mom was really in love with him?”_

_Medda shrugged, “She was in love with the boy who swore he’d be rich enough to afford a private box in our theatre someday, and never once doubted that we_ would _get that theatre of our own. Not until your mom had her accident. After that, I rarely saw him, he was working so hard. I always offered to help, but him and Annie would never accept it. You got that from them, y’know. Thinking you have to do everything by yourself.”_

_“So, when did my dad become... not my dad?”_

_Medda paused, and Jack realized he was holding his breath for the answer._

_”You were young,” she said finally, “And I don’t know exactly when, but one day, he and your mama came to see one of my shows, and I looked at him and didn’t see my friend anymore. He’d probably been gone for some time, and the man who took his place wasn’t the husband or father you and Annie deserved. But I have no doubt that if they were alive, your parents would be so proud of you, Jack.”_

_”You really think so?”_

_”I know so,” she insisted, “They’d be just as proud of you as I am, kiddo.”_

_”I’m not a kid anymore,” Jack said, fighting tears._

_”No,” Medda agreed, “You’re not. But you’re still my best friends’ kid, and I’m still_ so _proud of you.”_

_”Jackie.”_

_Davey was standing a few feet away, looking grim._

_”Everybody’s waitin’.”_

_Jack nodded, wiping his eyes, “Yeah. I’ll be on in just a sec. Is everyone else ready?”_

_Davey shrugged, his shoulders shaking just slightly, “I still need to go find Kath.”_

_He walked off, and Jack knew that he was avoiding eye contact to try to keep Jack from_ _knowing how scared he was._

_After only a second’s hesitation, Jack hugged Medda, one last time. There was. no way he’d be strong enough to come back here again. They both knew this was goodbye._

_”Try to come home, Jack, okay?”_

_Knowing he couldn’t promise more than that, Jack nodded, “I’ll try.”  
_

_With that, he headed for the stage._

_Davey was sitting in the front row with Crutchie, Spot, Race, Sarah, and Katherine, all of their faces deadly serious. Jack tried to focus on them so he wouldn’t focus on the rest of the crowd._

_It was hundreds of former Newsies. Manhattan, Brooklyn, and every other borough. Mostly men, a few women, aged from their mid 20s to a few in their late 30s. So many faces that had been familiar, before they all went and grew up._

_All of them had participated in the 1899 strike._

_Jack took a deep breath, before stepping to the front of the stage._

_”Hey,” he said, “So, it’s been a minute since we’s all been in one place.”_

_”More like 20 years!”_

_A few people laughed at what Albert had hollered, and Jack had to feel a bit of gratitude to him for breaking the tension._

_”Yeah, almost 20 years,” he admitted, “We’s all gotten old in that time, those of us that stayed in town, at least. A lot has changed. But... the last time I stood on this stage in front of y’all, I was givin’ bad news. That hasn’t changed.”_

_Everyone was silent as he paused._

_”There’s a war over in Europe,” Jack said, “And they’s draftin’ men right and left to go fight. The fact is, most of the men in this room will probably be drafted. And we can’t stop it, but... we can change the circumstances.”_

_Jack didn’t know if he could do this.  
_

_He took a deep breath._

_”We have a plan, me and a few others. Instead of waitin’ to be drafted, we all enlist together. At least then, we’ll probably end up in trainin’ together—maybe even the same unit in the real fightin’.”_

_”What about the women?” Sarah called in a choreographed question._

_”The women can enlist as nurses,” Jack answered, “And you all remember Kath Plumber, right? She’ll be goin’ as a journalist, but the basic point is... we’ll all be in it together. Whatever happens, it’s better than dyin’ alone.”_

_Jack had to fight to keep his voice from cracking on the word ‘dying.’_

_”It’s your choice,” he said, finishing what he had to say, “I ain’t gonna force any of ya. But the draft will come for you either way. So ask yourself if you’d rather go through hell with your friends or alone.”_

_There was a moment of silence, and then Spot climbed up on stage._

_”I’m with ya,” he said firmly, “And I know some of my—some of ya out in the crowd used to be mine—I know you’re here, so... I’d be proud to fight alongside any of ya.”_

_”We’re not forcin’ anyone to do this,” Davey added, climbing up, too, “But there’s a lot of former Manhattan out there, too, and... well, you get the point.”_

_Jack almost choked on his own panic as he realized that the next person climbing up on stage was Les._

_Davey looked like he was going to throw up._

_”I’m with ya,” he said, his eyes daring them to try to tell him not to._

_Jack wished he could stop him. He saw how Davey crossed his arms to hide how his hands were shaking. Even_ _Spot closed his eyes and took a deep breath._

_They all remembered the kid that Les had once been. Even though he’d been leader of Manhattan for a good long while._

_Jack didn’t want to know what Sarah’s face looked like right now._

_God, how many kids in this theatre had Jack watched grow up? None of them were biologically related to him, as far as he knew, but he’d been a big brother to_ so many of them.

_Jack took a deep breath, knowing Davey was frozen._

_”Anyone else who’s with us, meet out back. We’ll march downtown to enlist together. And for anyone who’s not comin’ with us... I don’t blame ya. But this might be the last chance you get to say goodbye, so... so say your goodbyes while ya can.”_

_Meeting everyone outside, Jack hoped that him holding Davey’s hand wasn’t too obvious, but he_ needed _the support right now, or he’d lose all control._

_He was a breath away from panic as it was as he registered how many of his kids were coming along and would be in danger and Jack couldn’t keep them from it and all he could see was RaceRomeoSpecsElmerButtonsMike—_

_“Stop,” Davey muttered._

_”Stop what?”_

_”Whatever you’re dyin’ over in your head.”_

_Jack smiled with no happiness behind it, “You first.”_

_Davey took a deep breath. He clearly had nothing he could say._

_Only the worst circumstances could make Davey Jacobs speechless._

_”I wish I could come with ya.”_

_Crutchie’s words broke Jack’s heart as he let go of Davey for a second to hug his brother fiercely for what, realistically, was probably the last time._

_The other former Manhattan kids were hovering around, waiting their turn to say goodbye to the one person who_ couldn’t _come with them._

_“I don’t. I’ll write to you.”_

_He felt Crutchie nod, “I’ll try to write, too. It’ll be fine, Jack. You’ll come home. You all will. I believe that.”  
_

_Always the optimist, wasn’t he? Even as he pretended to be sarcastic and sassed as much as Albert and Race._

_Jack took a shaky breath, trying not to cry, “I love you, little brother.”  
_

_Actions had always spoken louder than words among the Newsies. Their strange, unconventional family didn’t usually say these kinds of things out loud, so..._

_This was the first time Jack had ever actually told his oldest friend, his_ brother _, that he loved him._

_Crutchie’s arms tightened around him, and his voice sounded too close to tears, “I love you, too, big brother.”_

_With that, Jack couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled away, grabbing Davey’s hand again and not looking back as he walked away. He_ couldn’t. _  
_

_”Jackie,” Davey mumbled, trying to calm him down, “What do you know?”_

_Jack shrugged, trying to hide how his shoulders shook, ”Nothing good.”_

_He turned to march with his lover, and, by the looks of it, most of the other people he loved to what would probably be their death._

_..._

”Jack?”

He startled awake, realizing that Davey was in the doorway.

”How is he?”

“Stable,” Jack admitted, forcing a smile to shake off the bad dream, “He’ll be okay.”

He didn’t know why it was so surprising that Davey came over, dragging another chair to sit with him.

”If he’s gonna be okay, what are you still doing here?”

Jack shrugged, “Don’t want him to be alone.”

”You mean you wanna be here to protect him.”

Jack didn’t deny it, though he did have to wonder how Davey could read him so well after less than a week.

Well, he could read Davey pretty well, too, or at least he was pretty sure he could.

Funny, how fate, destiny, or whatever the hell worked. How Davey’s gentle smile, the nervous fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, even the way he _breathed_ was familiar.

Shit. Jack was staring. It must be exhaustion making him slow.

”Jack,” he said quietly, “There’s no one here who’s gonna hurt him.”

Jack shrugged, pointing to his temple, “See, up here, I know that. But in here...”

His hand dropped after vaguely gesturing to his chest. His heart, his drive, whatever. The part that seized up in terror whenever one of his was hurt.

Davey smiled gently, and somehow, Jack got the feeling he understood.

”Mind if I stay?”

He really, really didn’t. There was nothing Jack wanted more than to keep Davey close, but he didn’t think he should.

”Shouldn’t you be gettin’ sleep? What’re you even doin’ here?”

Davey shrugged, “Saz and I have a shared car. I couldn’t sleep. It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to sneak out to.”

”I’m flattered.”

”I thought we’d already established that I live under a rock.”

Jack laughed , “So, why couldn’t ya sleep?”

“It’s weird.”

”Trust me, I’ve heard weirder.”

”Given the general weirdness of the friend group, I don’t doubt that.”

Jack knocked his shoulder against Davey’s, “So, what’s up?”

He shrugged, “I don’t sleep much at all, to be honest. I know it’s weird, but... I never have. Even when I was little, I never liked sleeping.”

“It’s not that weird,” Jack assured him, “I don’t like sleeping, either. It’s just...”

”Nightmares.”

”Yeah.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” Davey muttered, “But I have them a lot. I see stuff like this—friends hurt. Which shouldn’t be possible because right now is the first time I’ve seen _anyone_ seriously hurt.”

Jack wished it was the first time he’d seen someone—someone he loved—seriously hurt. He wished he didn’t still carry those images ingrained in his mind, so messed up that they got mixed up and formed dreams of worse than just injuries.

No matter how bad these dreams got, Jack never told anyone about them. The closest he got to admitting that he saw his friends’ deaths on bad nights was admitting he had a bad dream at all. He had always seen the actual contents of the dreams as his burden. Something he shouldn’t trouble anyone else with.

And yet... somehow, it felt like he could trust Davey with his ghosts. His instincts said, for some inexplicable reason, that he could let Davey shoulder a little of his burden.

Jack had never trusted someone like that, but... his instincts had gotten him this far.

”When Race and I were 11, we tried to run away,” he said quietly, “We’d been at the Snyder group home for 2 years, and we was usually alright if we kept our heads down. We were the smallests. The older kids ignored us. Usually, Snyder did, too, but then we started gettin’ bigger, and suddenly he... he didn’t.”

Davey grabbed his hand, squeezing gently. It kept Jack grounded.

”We lasted a couple weeks of that,” he muttered, “And then we just... couldn’t take it anymore. I stole some cash out of Snyder’s desk and we _ran_. I hoped if we hopped on a bus, we’d be free.”

Jack took a deep breath. This was going to be the hard part.

”I think the worst part was that we almost made it. We were _at_ the bus stop when Snyder caught up. And... and he... he hauled us back to that hellhole and he-he roughed me up enough so’s I couldn’t stop him. Then he beat Race and-and _made me watch_.”

“Oh my God,” Davey mumbled.

”He almost killed him,” Jack continued, “I don’t know if he would’ve. He was so absorbed in hittin’ Race that he didn’t notice I’d lifted his phone and called 911. He tried to press charges over the cash I stole, but it was Race’s injuries against his word. He was never gonna do that to another kid again. But... but he hurt him _so_ bad. I thought I was gonna lose—“

”Jack...”

Jack couldn’t bring himself to return the hug as Davey wrapped his arms around him tightly. He couldn’t even lean into it, no matter how comforting the other boy’s warmth was. He didn’t feel like he deserved it.

He didn't realize how close he was to tears until he choked on a sob.

”Shh, Jackie,” Davey murmered, hugging him tighter, “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I didn’t save him,” Jack sobbed, “I just, I-I froze, and I was too scared to move and I didn’t do anythin’ to help so if Spot Conlon didn’t call the paramedics he woulda been—“

”He wasn’t,” Davey insisted, “He’s hurt, yeah, but he’s gonna be okay.”

”But I—“

”You froze up. Yes. And if you’d been alone, it could’ve been bad. But you _weren’t_ , and Race is gonna get better, and the important thing is that you did your best.”

Jack scoffed, “My _best_.”

”Jack,” Davey whispered, “It’s not your fault you’re a little bit broken.”

Jack turned, finally returning the embrace, gripping onto Davey like a lifeline as he cried.

Davey just let him sob into his shirt, holding him and quietly saying comforting things as he ran his fingers through Jack’s hair.

Jack had never let himself break down like this in front of anyone. Not even Crutchie or Medda.

It felt... overdue.

And Davey felt warm, letting Jack hold onto him as tight as he needed to feel secure, remaining gentle and comforting through it all.

Eventually, though, he relaxed a little, and realized that Davey—a wonderful, patient boy he’d met less than a week ago—was still holding him, running his fingers through his hair and not making any signs of letting go as Jack got less hysterical.

Of course, there were plenty of worse situations to be in, and Jack didn’t by any means want out of this one, but the thought of how he’d met Davey less than a week ago kept coming up, and it felt like a lie.

Every piece of this was familiar. It was safe. _Davey_ was safe, and Jack didn’t have to be strong with him if he wasn’t feeling it.

Where was that trust coming from? Even with the friends he felt the need to protect, Jack had never trusted someone this quick. Hell, he’d never even trusted someone _this much_.

For some reason with Davey... the walls he put up to protect himself and others just _weren’t_ there.

That didn’t mean Jack could let them stay down. He didn’t know how.

Davey let him pull away from the hug.

”Are you gonna be okay?”

He didn’t ask if Jack was okay now, because he very clearly _wasn’t.  
_

Jack nodded, “Yeah. I’m gonna kill the Delanceys if I ever see ‘em again, though. Or maybe I’ll let your sister do it.”

Davey laughed quietly, “I’m sure she’d be happy to bitchslap a homophobe.”

Jack smiled, but there was something awkward, now. He wasn’t sure if it was how some of his walls were back up or the way neither of them could deny that something had changed between them.

Or maybe they were getting back to an old normal. Jack wasn’t sure.

Then Davey grinned and bumped Jack’s shoulder with his, “Well, actually, if you need someone to help ya beat up the Delanceys, I’m in.”

_“Seriously?”_

”Seriously.”

Jack laughed, “Davey Jacobs, I think I pegged you wrong.”

”Really? How’d ya peg me before?”

Jack shrugged, “I dunno. The nerd who has a crush on the popular girl but thinks he has no chance with her and then finds a way to get her by the end of the movie.”

”Oh, so I’m a romcom cliché?”

”Are ya not?”

Davey laughed, “I sure hope not.”

”You don’t like romcoms?”

”They’re boring and predictable, right?”

”I mean, I guess,” Jack admitted, “But my brothers like ‘em so I have to watch ‘em.”

“ _All_ of your brothers like romcoms?”

”Yeah, why?”

”Crutchie doesn’t strike me as the type.”

Jack laughed, “You’d be surprised!”

Race groaned in his sleep and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘shut up.’ Jack had to clamp his hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles.

”Okay,” Davey said quietly, “How ‘bout we take this somewhere else? If you’re stayin’ up all night, I know a 24 hour coffee stand 5 minutes away.”

Jack glanced at Race’s sleeping face, “I don’t know...“

”Come on, Jack,” he urged, “Two teenagers sneaking out at midnight to grab coffee? It’s a romcom cliché.”

”Is it, though?”

Davey sighed, “Look, you’ve been here half the night already. When was the last time you ate?”

”Um...” Jack shrugged, “Dinner? Around 5:00?”

”You do realize that was 7 hours ago, right?”

”Um... yes?”

Davey sighed with a tired smile, “We’re going for coffee. It’s on me.”

Honestly, Jack didn’t really know why he didn’t say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to state for the record that I know absolutely nothing about normal emergency room procedure and I’m too lazy to look it up so the hospital scenes probably aren’t accurate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack starts leaning on Davey more and the sleepover happens. Lots of dreams from the past are brought up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ THE CHAPTER!!!
> 
> If you are not emotionally prepared to get your soul crushed by some of your favs dying ON SCREEN IF THIS WAS A MOVIE, do not read this chapter right now. I almost cried writing this. Buckle your seatbelts, y’all.

Jack texted Davey a lot over the weekend, just spending hours learning more about him and exchanging memes.

He really did feel _so_ familiar. Jack could almost predict what snappy comeback he was going to use whenever Jack said something stupid.

Of course, Jack was also somewhat focused on taking care of Race, even though his little brother kept insisting he was fine. He clearly wasn’t. Jack ended up frustratedly texting Davey that _just because you’ve taken worse hits does not mean you’re not hurt now_ , but that wasn’t really relevant.

He also spent a fair amount of time texting Buttons and Elmer, trying to get one of them to make a move, but honestly, those two were so oblivious to each other’s feelings that it probably wouldn’t happen without some serious manipulation.

And _yeah_... manipulating friends wasn’t a cool thing to, but... well, with any luck, they would thank him later.

“Jack, are you manipulatin’ our friends again?”

”It worked with Albert and Finch,” Jack mumbled absentmindedly.

”That’s different. Those two were in desperate need of an intervention.”

“You don’t even know who I’m talkin’ ‘bout, here!”

Crutchie rolled his eyes, “Buttons and Elmer. I ain’t blind, Jack.”

”Yeah, what would we call him then?” Romeo asked, “Blutchie?”

”If you repeat that word, I will blue shell your ass.”

They were playing Mario Kart. Or, Romeo and Crutchie were. Jack was busy manipulating his friends and Race was alone in his and Romeo’s room doing who knew what.

”They’s been pinin’ for months, little brother,” Jack pointed out, “And they’s both too shy to say anything. They needs a push.”

”Maybe,” Crutchie admitted, “But I ain’t about to condone doin’ what ya did with Albert and Finch again.”

Romeo cringed, “Yeah, I think Albert still has scars from that.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not doin’ that again. Albie and the songbird was an outlier.”

”What happens in 8th grade stays in 8th grade?”

Jack returned Crutchie’s spit shake, ”What happens in 8th grade stays in 8th grade.”

”How’re you still beatin’ me with one hand?” Romeo complained.

”Because you suck,” Crutchie said simply, dodging when the youngest brother swatted him.

Jack and Crutchie fist-bumped before sitting back on the couch.

”So, what _is_ your plan?” Crutchie asked.

Jack shrugged, “Probably to tell ‘em I wanna hang out with each of ‘em then not show up.”

”Where?”

”I dunno.”

”That milkshake place a couple miles from school?” Romeo suggested.

”Oh, yeah...” Crutchie mused, “That could work.”

Jack laughed incredulously, “Are you actually condonin’ me settin’ up Elmer and Buttons?!”

”Ya said it yourself!” Crutchie exclaimed defensively, “They needs a push, and let’s face it—they’re fuckin’ adorable.”

Romeo laughed, “Damn right. Like Race and his red knight, Spot.”

“Y’know, that kid might be good for Race,” Jack admitted, “‘Least when our brother inevitably gets himself into trouble, the scary Conlon kid can get him out of it.”

“Yeah,” Romeo agreed, “And plus, have ya seen the way Race blushes when we talk ‘bout him? It’s fuckin’ adorable.”

”Language, Ro.”

”Jack, you are becomin’ more like Mom every—dammit, Crutchie!”

Jack ignored them squabbling about Crutchie winning and shot Buttons a quick text about hanging out at the milkshake place before switching to text Elmer. Of course, he knew that neither of them really had extra-curriculars since the theatre season hadn’t started yet, but Buttons would be watching his younger siblings starting around 5:00 most days. And Elmer had mathletes on Wednesdays, but other than that, they were probably both free.

Was it creepy that Jack knew that much about his friends’ schedules? Maybe. Just another weird thing to add to the list.

”Y’know, you and Davey are cute, too.”

Jack dropped his phone on his face out of shock.

Crutchie had antagonized Romeo enough to get him to leave the room, and now that they were alone, he didn’t sound like he was kidding.

”What?”

“I mean it,” Crutchie said, and he was smiling when Jack looked over, “You remember how defensive he was when we first met him, right? I’s got 5th period with him, and he’s come out of his shell a bit, gained confidence ‘round friends, but that’s nothin’ compared to how he gets around you.”

“Crutch—“

”I’m not done. Jack, it’s noticeable. He’s still got impulse control—thank God for that—but he’s bolder around you. And that makes sense; you make everyone feel safe to be themselves, so everybody goes apeshit around you. But what’s really interestin’ ‘bout Davey is that he has the opposite effect on you.”

Jack waited a couple seconds before asking.

”What do ya mean?”

“Glad you asked,” Crutchie said, clearly having been waiting for that, “I’s been keepin’ an eye on ya, cause I don’t want ya to get hurt. But the thing is, I shouldn’ta worried as far as Davey goes. Because Davey Jacobs makes you relax like nothin’ I’s ever seen. You’re always worryin’, never lettin’ anyone help take care of everyone else and stressin’ yourself out because of it, but with him, ya just... ain’t.”

He shrugged, smiling.

”I think he’s good for ya.”

Jack didn’t really know what to say.

“Thanks.”

Crutchie nodded, “I want ya to be happy, Jack. I’ll still probably give Davey a warning, but... I’m not really worried ‘bout him hurtin’ you.“

”We weren’t really worried ‘bout Specs hurtin’ Romeo, either, but we still gave him the shovel talk of the century.”

”Yeah, well... the way Specs brings out the best in Romeo is more subtle. But with you? Oh, man, it’s obvious. He’s exactly what ya need. I knew before he even talked to ya that night at the hospital.”

Jack got what he was saying. Davey did make him drop his walls, more than any of his friends or even his brothers. He wasn’t sure if that was bringing out the best in him, but—

Wait a second.

”How did you know he showed up that night?” Jack asked suspiciously.

Crutchie froze, then sighed, “Damn. I was hopin’ ya wouldn’t notice that.”

“ _Crutchie_.”

“Fine. I mighta texted him you were gonna sit up all night with no food or sleep—but I didn’t tell him to go to ya! He texted that he’d talk to ya, then an hour later said that he made ya get some coffee and a muffin, at least. And that is definitely more than you woulda done to take care of yourself if it wasn’t him askin’, so I regret nothing.”

Jack groaned, ”Crutchie, that was none of your business.”

”None of my business?” Crutchie snapped, “You kill yourself takin’ care of everybody else and ya never listen to anybody—much less me—who tells ya to stop. So _excuse me_ for callin’ the one person you _do_ listen to.”

”Crutchie, I—“

“Save it. I’m not gonna feel guilty about it.”

Jack shut his mouth. As much as he tried to find a valid argument, none came to mind.

What was he supposed to say? That he felt responsible for saving everyone and couldn’t accept help because he had a chronic inability to even indirectly cause stress to his boys and girls on purpose?

Even when the others offered to help with whatever problem, he _never_ let them. That was true. Not until... 

Wait, why _did_ he let Davey help again? Just because his instincts told him he could?

Sometimes, Jack really hated it when one of his little brothers was right.

”He’s different from the others,” Jack admitted quietly, “I don’t really know how, but...”

”The others are siblings to ya,” Crutchie pointed out, “Davey’s... well, he’s your person.”

”My what now?”

”Have ya ever asked Romeo how it felt when he met Specs? Or Smalls about when she met Sniper? It’s somethin’ else than the normal deja vu we get with friends. I think Davey’s that for you.”

Thinking of the punch in the gut of familiarity he’d gotten when he first met him, Jack had to admit, Crutchie might be on to something.

Maybe he’d ask Mush about it. Mush was good with romance, evidently, with how he and Blink had gotten together not long after meeting and had already been together nearly two years. (which was a hell of a lot longer than most high school relationships lasted)

“He offered to help me beat up the Delanceys,” Jack mumbled, smiling absentmindedly.

”Oh God, you need to keep him.”

Jack laughed, thinking of Davey as he refocused on manipulating Elmer and Buttons.

...

_“See?” Jack asked as he tied off the bandana around the scrape on Spin’s arm, “You’re alright. There ya go.”_

_The kid sniffled but nodded, smiling shakily.  
_

_Poor boy. Spin was an orphan, and young to be on the streets even by Newsie standards. He was clumsy and got hurt a lot, then cried about it. Probably because he didn’t cry about things that were actually important and wouldn’t admit he missed his mama._

_Jack could relate, unfortunately. He still missed_ his _mama sometimes._

_”You good, kid?” Henry asked, holding out a hand._

_Spin sniffled again, but nodded, “Uh-huh.”_

_As Henry helped him up, he nodded to Jack, keeping a hold on the younger boy’s hand before running across the street back towards their selling spot._

_”Thanks, Jack!”_

_”Remember we’re meeting at Jacobi’s after sellin’ time!“ Jack yelled after him, though it wasn’t really necessary. He knew Henry had a great memory._

_”So... you do that often?”_

_Jack shrugged, turning to his new partner._

_Davey Jacobs. Someone who... well, it was mean to say that he didn’t belong, but he didn’t._

_Whatever had made him and Les have to work had happened to him later than most newsies, meaning that Davey still maintained his nice clothes, ‘proper’ grammar and a general reluctance to get dirty. He wasn’t from particularly high up in life, but he was definitely from higher than Jack._

_He was the kind of kid who obviously didn’t belong on the streets, which meant he’d probably get mugged or killed if he was on his own, which meant that Jack had to stop that from happening._

_Whatever. There had been worse new kids. So far, Davey was a bit of a stick in the mud, but he took direction well. He was defensive, but not mean about it. He misunderstood things, of course, but didn’t look down on the kids who’d been out here for years._

_And he wasn’t bad on the eyes, not that Jack was paying attention. He couldn’t do anything about it anyway, not knowing if he could trust Davey yet, and especially not with Les around, but he could discreetly appreciate the other boy’s looks if he wanted._

_Speaking of Les... oh, there he was. Hawking papers like he’d been doing it for a year instead of less than a day. Kid was a natural. He faked helplessness_ and _a street accent like he’d was born for it. Jack made a mental note to ask this kid if Medda ever needed a little actor for a play.  
_

_He should probably answer the older Jacobs brother’s question.  
_

_”Eh... not really,” he admitted, “But Henry ain’t good at first aid and Spin’s fragile. He ain’t been a newsie long.”_

_”How long has he been a newsie?” Davey asked hesitantly, “He seems young.”_

_”He is,” Jack admitted, “He’s 6. But, y’know, there ain’t that many places you can go when you’s under 10 and your mom dies. That’s kinda the story with a lot of us. I found Spin in a gutter a couple weeks ago.”_

_“He didn’t have any other relatives?” Davey asked, sounding kind of surprised._

_”None who wanted him, at least. What—don’t recognize that? If you’s got an aunt or somethin’ willin’ to take ya in, what’re ya doin’ here?”  
_

_”Point taken.”_

_Hmm. He was hiding something. Jack wasn’t sure what it was, but it was part of the reason he’d taken on this kid, himself. Because if something about Davey was a trap, he’d rather he fell in it than one of the others._

_Whatever. Jack was no stranger to secrets. If Davey was running from somebody, Jack would deal with that. If he was working for Snyder or something..._

_Well, Jack could deal with that, too. Find a way to keep the Spider from hurting him and his. Preferably keep everyone out of the Refuge._

_For now, he would give Davey the benefit of the doubt, but still keep the others out of the danger zone._

_”C’mon,” he said, nudging the taller boy, “Let’s swing by Broadway. I gotta go check on Mike and Ike.”_

_”Why?” Davey asked._

_”Cause the aunts who raised ‘em died a few years ago today. They always get weird ‘round this time of year. Sell close to their childhood home._

_Jack wasn’t worried about sharing that information. Pretty much all the Manhattan kids knew each other’s backstories. Besides, it wasn’t like Mike and Ike had anyone from their past that could be used against them, anyway._

_“Ey! Les! C’mon, we’re walkin’ over to the West Side!”_

_”Okay, Jack!”_

_Jack ruffled the kid’s hair as he ran up. Even if he wasn’t sure about Davey yet, he liked Les._

_Actually, Jack just liked little kids in general. It was sad to see them out here, but they were genuine. They didn’t have secrets._

_”I guess I can see why everyone trusts you so much.”_

_”What?”_

_Jack didn’t know what to do with that comment. It had been quiet enough that Davey probably hadn’t meant for him to hear it._

_”I just meant... Nothing. Nevermind. Let’s go check on Mike and Ike.”_

_”No, it’s fine,” Jack said quickly, “But... you should know: Manhattan takes care of our own. We only survive ‘_ cause _we can all trust each other. And as leader, I’m responsible for everyone, so I takes care of everyone.”_

_Was he laying it on a bit thick that Manhattan kids protected each other to either discourage Davey from making a move against them or make it clear he and Les would be safe with them if they chose? Maybe._

_But even if Jack didn’t trust Davey Jacobs yet, no one deserved to be alone. Especially not someone possibly under Snyder’s thumb._

_He shrugged, ”Since you’s one of us, now, I guess that means I’m responsible for you, too.”_

_”I don’t need your help,” Davey said stiffly._

_”Just ‘cause ya can get by on your own don’t mean you have to, ya know.”  
_

_He wasn’t sure if Davey believed him, but he didn’t argue._

...

Besides an incident with Race apparently having a really bad nightmare Tuesday night, the rest of the week was mostly uneventful.

Suspicious.

“I’m tellin’ ya,” Jack muttered as he sketched, “Besides Race havin’ an awful nightmare, nothin’ has happened this week. We’re jinxed. Somethin’ bad is gonna happen. Like, Earth-shatterin’, people are dead, apocalypse bad. And it’ll be soon—you can bet on that. What do ya think it’ll be?”

Katherine looked mildly concerned, “I think you’re...”

”Crazy? Eh, ya ain’t the first person to think that.”

”I was going to say ‘paranoid,’ but ‘crazy’ works, too.”

“Kath, ya ain’t been friends with me that long, but trust me. My friend group _always_ has drama. And not even the normal kind!”

”What do you mean?” Kath asked, still seeming more amused than anything.

”I mean if there’s a month we’re one of us _doesn’t_ end up in the hospital,” Jack said gravely, “Y’know, for one reason or another, it’s rare.”

“I’m starting to regret befriending you.”

Jack laughed, “You can’t escape us, pal. We’re inevitable.”

Deja vu hit him in the gut so strong it made him nauseous.

_No. That’s not my line. Someone else is supposed to say that to_ me _._

Katherine looked nauseous, too, but she recovered quickly.

”Did I join a cult or something by becoming your friend?”

Jack took a deep breath through his nose, waiting a couple seconds to make sure he wasn’t going to throw up before responding.

”Kinda! Best part of theatre is that ya learn to lie really well. Acting is just recreational lyin’.”

“So, it’s a useful cult, then.”

”Yup!”

Kath laughed, “Any cute girls?”

”Jack swings more towards boys.”

They both jumped as they realized Denton was right behind them on his rounds around the classroom.

”I know,” Katherine said without missing a beat, “I meant for me.”

“Oh,” Denton said, “Okay. In that case, I work with the drama club for sets sometimes. There’s a few girls, mostly on the crew.”

Jack laughed, “I dunno if they’d be your type, Kath. All the crew kids are kinda scary.”

”I can handle scary.”

”No, he’s right,” Denton said, amused, “I’m pretty sure at least one of them has killed someone. I’m not sure which one, but...”

“Oh.”

Denton chuckled, “Yeah. You’ll find out tonight, I guess. Speaking of which, Jack, I need to talk to you after class. Are you up for that?“

”Yeah. What about?”

”Nothing class-related. It’s a personal thing. A decision I need your help with.”

Jack nodded, “Okay. I’ll swing by before the sleepover starts.”

He wasn’t sure what was going on, but Denton was one of the few adults Jack actually trusted, so he was okay with it.

”So, what do you think that’s about?” Kath asked, going back to her Avatar story as their teacher walked away.

Jack shrugged, “I dunno. I trust Denton, though. I wouldn’ta made it through freshman year without his class.”

”Well... I guess I’ll wait for you out front of the school?”

It was then that Jack remembered that Kath was new. She’d been here only two weeks and it really wasn’t surprising that she didn’t know where anything was.

That, and the concept of meeting a large group of hyper theatre kids was probably pretty intimidating.

Also, there was still that feeling Jack had. Like something bad was going to happen.

Tonight, probably. Sleepovers always got chaotic, and this one was sure not to be an exception.

”Yeah, I’ll meet ya out there and introduce ya to the fellas.”

Kath was silent for a few seconds before she asked, “How many other girls are there again?”

Who could keep track of that?

Jack shrugged, “Well, like Denton said, most of the girls are in the crew. As far as cast goes... I think Smalls and Sniper are the only girls that do it regularly, but Rafaela and Joey sometimes audition if there’s more female roles we can’t substitute in a boy for.”

Kath made a face, “Sounds like you _need_ more girls.”

”Heh, probably. Luckily, we’s gettin’ two more this year!”

”Two?”

”You and Sarah Jacobs!”

Kath made a sound like she got punched in the stomach, dropping her pencil.

Oh. Okay. Jack hadn’t seen that one coming, given that he’d never seen Sarah and Katherine in the same room, but now that he was thinking about it, they would make sense together. They seemed like another one of the pairs that _should_ be together.

On this side, at least, Jack could read the redhead’s feelings clear as day.

Kath seemed to be able to tell that he could.

”Do _not_ tell anyone.”

Jack put up his hands, “I won’t, but she’s out and proud, if it makes ya feel any better.”

”I know,” Katherine sighed, “She’s in my Spanish class and just... she’s amazing.”

”Well, I’m pretty close with her twin brother, so I’ll put in a good word for ya.”

Kath sniggered, “Thanks, Cowboy. Wait... by _close_ , do you mean—“

”No,” Jack said quickly, “No, I’m... I’m pretty sure he don’t like me like that.”

”But you like him,” Kath teased, “You’re not denying it!”

”If you tell him, I’ll tell Sarah.”

”Oh, relax. I’m not going to. But... Davey Jacobs. Tall, brown hair, kind of shy?“

Jack nodded, “That’s him.”

”Well, he has gay vibes.”

”Oh, he’s bi, like me.”

”You should ask him out.”

”Shut up.”

Kath laughed, and Jack made a mental note to draw Avatar Katherine laughing later.

He had a vague memory of a Kath in a magenta dress laughing and ripping up something made of paper, but he shoved that image away. It didn’t seem real, anyway.

Well, it did.

Just as real as the dreams of Davey’s love.

...

_“What the fuck are_ you _doing here?”_

_Jack winced, even though the question was fair._ _He hadn’t expected to run into Sarah on the fire escape outside the Jacobs apartment, but..._

_Well, it was her house. But he had been hoping to run into the other twin._

_”Look, Sarah, I know I—“_

_”Do you realize what you’ve done?” Sarah hissed, “Davey and Race now have to carry the strike by themselves, and they had zero time to prepare. You think you can show up here after you betrayed them?”_

_”Sarah, I—“_

_”Get. Out of here.”_

_”Saz—“_

_”Get—“_

_”Sarah, will you just be quiet and listen for five seconds? I wanna fix it!”_

_Jack realized as he hissed the words that they’d been arguing through whispers this whole time and he didn’t know why._

_Then he realized that there was another voice. It was faint, but louder than either of their tones, coming from the roof._

_Davey._

_Sarah had been keeping quiet out of hope that he wouldn’t hear them and wouldn’t know that Jack had been there._

_Realizing he’d figured it out, Sarah sighed._

_”He lists facts when he’s scared,” she mumbled, “He needs to know that some things still make sense, so he says things he knows for sure.”_

_Jack did remember hearing Davey mumble things like that to himself that first day of the strike. It made sense._

_Ironic, how up until that day, he had still been unsure if he was trustworthy._

_Jack thinking someone else wasn’t trustworthy. Hilarious._

_“Can I talk to him?” he asked quietly._

_Sarah scoffed, “What? You haven’t hurt him enough?”_

_”Sarah, I know I fucked up,” Jack admitted, “But we have a chance to save the strike, and I can’t do it by myself. Please.”_

_”Why should we trust you?” she asked skeptically, “You sold us out for a train ticket to Santa Fe.”_

_Jack bit back an excuse. Sarah was only making a conclusion based on the evidence she had. The Jacobs siblings were nothing if not logical._

_It didn’t matter why he really did it. He wasn’t looking for pity, only help._

_”If it makes you feel any better, Katherine wrote this,” he said, holding out the article, “It was her idea, not mine. And she never betrayed nobody.”_

_Well, that wasn’t actually true. Kath betrayed her father, but that was a good thing for them, so it didn’t matter._

_Sarah skimmed over it, then looked up, grudging respect in her eyes, “This is good. It would sway the girls at the factory.”_

_”We’re hopin’ it’ll sway everybody.”_

_Sarah looked Jack in the eye, searching him for a lie, then took a deep breath._

_”Don’t break him, Jack.”_

_”I won’t.”_

_”I’ll wake Les up and let our parents know where we’re going. You’ve got ten minutes to meet us at the street corner, and if Davey doesn’t come down safe by then, I’m getting help.”  
_

_”He will.”_

_Jack knew his word meant nothing after what he’d done, but he said it anyway.  
_

_As he climbed the stairs to the roof, he could hear the little bits of fact Davey was muttering to himself. Comments on how the tides worked or the seasons changed.  
_

_It was cute._

_Jack shook the thought out of his head. That was completely impossible._

_The illegal part didn’t bother him. It wasn’t like Jack hadn’t committed worse crimes. Every leader who actually gave a damn about their kids made questionable decisions to keep them safe, whether it be stealing to get through hard winters or breaking someone out of the Refuge or even jail. And compared to the kills a few of Jack’s fellow leaders supposedly had, loving another boy was tame. Jack had actually been with boys before, though it hadn’t lasted long._

_But even if Davey did seem like the ‘queer‘ type, there was no way he would want to be with Jack after what he’d done. He must hate him as much as the rest of the fellas did.  
_

_Whatever. Jack didn’t need Davey’s love. Just his help. If he never wanted to see him again after this, that was fine. It wasn’t like Jack was staying in New York when there was no one left who wanted him there, anyway._

_Well, Katherine did. And she was great, but she alone wasn’t enough to make Jack stay._

_They’d kissed, and in the moment, Jack had said a bunch of things he wasn’t sure he meant, but he could still break it off after the Children’s Crusade. Kath was strong. She’d get over him. Jack would move to Santa Fe and pretend his childhood in New York never happened, hopefully never running into any of the former Newsies from that childhood who’d said they were gonna go out west._

_God, Jack hadn’t thought about those older boys in a while._

_He knew Itey and Snitch, at least, had planned on going west. Bumlets had said he might, and Boots had mentioned once that it sounded interesting. And Jack hadn’t seen any of them in a good few years.  
_

_Whatever. The west was big. The chances of Jack running into—or recognizing, even if he did—any of those boys were low. They probably didn’t even go by their Newsie names anymore. So, Jack wouldn’t find any reminders of New York in Santa Fe._

_Well... maybe he could read one of Kath’s stories someday because it was good enough to make national papes. The thought made him smile. He had no doubt that she_ was _that good; only if the people standing in her way would read her work.  
_

_Yeah, a story written by Katherine Plumber someday would be Jack’s one reminder of New York, and he was okay with that. One reminder would be alright._

_”Given name: Jack Kelly.”_

_Jack froze, just below the edge of the roof, as he heard his name._

_Davey was talking about him. Listing what few facts he knew._

_”Someone who seems to get by with a smile.”_

_Jack really should just walk up those last few steps before this got weird, but he couldn’t. He was paralyzed, just listening._

_”Having no substance, he compensates with style.”_

_He would be offended if that wasn’t completely true._

_”And if at first I thought he’s who he claimed he was,” Davey scoffed, “It’s just because that kind of boy must be good at what he does.”_

_No. No, it wasn’t. It was because Jack believed in the strike and in Davey._

_”Santa Fe,” he muttered bitterly, “You’re the scene of a dream, not a plan. The dream of a boy. Not a man.”_

_...what?_

_Santa Fe wasn’t... it wasn’t just a dream. It had been Jack’s aim since he was little. Get out of the city and find someplace wild to call home. Ride horses, plant crops, live like his mama had when she was a kid. That was Jack’s plan. It was enough of a plan._

_...wasn’t it?_

_Jack took a deep breath, and decided to force himself to move. He was going to talk to Davey tonight. Just... he just needed to walk up those last few steps and pretend he hadn’t heard everything Davey just said._

_”Moon. A natural satellite of the Earth. The same size, no matter where you are.”_

_Jack... couldn’t believe that. Things had to be better in Santa Fe, because if they weren’t, then... then maybe nowhere was better._

_If he didn’t have Santa Fe, he had nothing left. That was just a fact, now. He’d lost himself New York tonight, that was for sure._

_Jack took a deep breath and climbed the last few steps, ”Davey?”_

_Davey backed away quickly, distrust written all over his face._

_”How long were you standin’ there?”_

_”Not long,” Jack lied, “I need to talk to ya.”_

_“What makes you think I’ll listen?”_

_”Davey, I—“_

_”Are you gonna stop me if I try to go?”_

_Jack shook his head, “Of course not, but I really need you to listen to me. I need your help.”_

_Davey scoffed as he moved around him, keeping a few feet away like he couldn’t bear to be near him, “I ain’t helping you with anything.”_

_”Dave,_ please _.”_

_Davey froze, his hand on the railing to climb back down the fire escape._

_He wasn’t looking at Jack, but at least he was listening._

_”Katherine wrote an article,” he said quickly, pulling it out of his pocket, “She thinks if we print it and give it out all over the city to all the workin’ kids—get ‘em to join us—we can win this strike once and for all.”_

_Slowly, Davey turned around, taking the article before moving to Jack’s other side._

_With a pang, Jack realized it was so that he wasn’t so close to the railing. Because he didn’t trust Jack anymore._

_”This is good,” he admitted, still finishing the last few lines, “It might work.”_

_”So will you help?” Jack asked, “I can’t cover the whole city by myself, Dave, and Race and the others won’t listen to me. Kath’s busy gettin’ some friends to help with printin’, so it’s gotta be you. They might listen to Sarah, but they’ll definitely listen to you.”_

_“And who’s fault is it that you can’t get them to listen?”_

_The words were clearly meant to sting, and they did._

_Jack winced, “Mine.“_

_”Stop with the horseshit, Kelly,” Davey hissed, “If this is real, it’s a good plan. If not, it’s a good way to get every strike leader left in one place so Pulitzer can get rid of us.”_

_”It’s real,” Jack insisted, “I swear. Look, ya think I can write good enough to fake this? Nah, Kath wrote that. She lost her job for refusin’ to quit the strike. If you can’t trust me, trust her.”  
_

_”Kath doesn’t see clearly when it comes to you,” Davey snapped, “Hell, neither do I. We all want to believe you’re on our side, Jack—that’s what makes you so dangerous. I said once that Spot Conlon was the key? I was wrong. You said ‘disband the Union,’ and with 3 words, ya tore apart the will of half the strike,_ especially _Manhattan. You know you broke their hearts, right?”_

_Jack wished he had something to say, but the thought of how badly he’d hurt his kids was almost making_ him _cry._

_“They don’t just see you as their leader,” Davey said coldly, “Most of ‘em see you as a big brother. Hell, you practically raised a few of them. I stayed at the Lodging House tonight comforting these kids—_ your _kids—until most of them had cried themselves to sleep and Race told me to go home.”  
_

_Jack was too focused on holding back his tears to respond._

_“Which is why, I swear to God, Jack Kelly, if you’re bullshitting me right now, I will let Spot push you in front of a carriage.”  
_

_“Wait, what?”_

_Jack choked back his emotions._

_Davey sighed, “It’s risky. If you betray us again, this will kill the strike for good, but... I don’t have a better plan. You were right that Pulitzer can go a hell of a lot longer than we can, and... well, if we don’t win this soon, there’s gonna be none of us left to win it.”  
_

_”So you’ll help?”_

_”Yes.”_

_”Thank you. Now let’s go—“_

_”One more thing.”_

_Jack stopped, “What?”_

_They didn’t have all night. What was he stalling for?_

_Davey glared at him, crossing his arms, ”Why’d you do it?”  
_

_”What?”_

_”Why’d you do it? And don’t hit me with some bullshit about doing it for the money, because I already thought that through and it makes no sense. If you were in it for the money, you would’ve scabbed when Blink, Tommy, and Sniper did. So what was it? What made you betray us?”_

_Damn. Jack hadn’t thought Davey would pick up on any of that._

_Of course, he didn’t really want to tell him that he’d done it for him._

_“Does it matter?” he asked, “What difference does it make why I did it?”_

_”It makes a difference to me,” Davey pressed, “Your motive is the one thing that doesn’t make sense, here. I know you didn’t do it for the money. That emergency fund everybody’s been surviving on the last week—you could’ve gone to Santa Fe with that money instead of making sure the entire Lodging House can afford to go a couple days without pay.”_

_”I saved that because sometimes things happen you can’t predict,” Jack muttered, “Like a hard winter day where nobody sells a thing. Or a strike.”_

_“Exactly,” Davey pressed, “You’ve had enough to pack up and go for a long time, but you didn’t because you were too worried about what would happen to the others when you were gone—because you knew Race and Crutchie weren’t ready yet to lead. So if it wasn’t money, it wasn’t Santa Fe, and it wasn’t because you don’t care, what the hell could possibly make you switch sides?”  
_

_”You.”_

_It was Davey’s turn to be speechless._

_”Pulitzer said he’d throw all the fellas in jail,” Jack explained, finally, “He even threatened to have the guards in the Refuge rough up Crutchie, and... and I still wasn’t gonna cave. I may not like it, but my boys and girls can take a hit. And if we lose the strike, some of ‘em probably won’t be able to make ends meet, so doin’ what Pulitzer said wouldn’t protect ‘em, anyway. But then he... he threatened_ you _. He said he’d take you and Les away from your family and I...I just couldn’t let that happen.”  
_

_Davey stared at him, his mouth hanging open a little in shock._

_”I ain’t lookin’ for pity,” Jack said awkwardly, “Or understandin’. I know you still hate me, but—“_

_”You idiot.”_

_Davey took a step closer, and Jack was speechless again as the other boy wrapped him in a tight hug._

_”You couldn’t just say that?” he asked, exasperated, “You couldn’t just tell me—us?”_

_Jack just shrugged. At the rally, he’d hoped Davey might see the desperation in his eyes. Knowing Snyder was watching, he couldn’t say anything, but he had tried to tell Davey, anyway._

_But, they had only known each other a week. Jack guessed it wasn’t a surprise he didn’t get the signal._

_Davey sighed as he pulled back, “I don’t... hate you. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still pissed, and we_ _still got a lot to talk about. And I’m really not the one you gotta apologize to, but... we should go. We don’t got all night.”_

_”Davey?”_

_”Yeah?”_

_”Thanks. For believin’ me.”_

_Davey shrugged, “I’m not sure I do. But your explanation makes more sense than anything else I can come up with, so I’ll take it. Let’s go.”_

_Jack nodded, following him down._

_..._

“So, what’s up, Denton?” Jack asked, bouncing into the art classroom.

He was in a good mood. He’d gotten an A on the first real English assignment, Race was _finally_ learning to cover his own damn ass in a fight, and later today, they’d be having the sleepover.

With any luck, it would be even more epic than last year. He was really hoping to impress Davey.

Denton shrugged, sitting down on a desk, “This might seem like a really weird question, and you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. In fact, feel free to stop me at any point. I’m only asking you because you’re the only student I have who might understand.”

Jack thought about it. He wasn’t sure what Denton was talking about.

What did he know? Specifically, what did he know about what made him unique from other kids?

Mixed-race? No, that didn’t make sense. Plenty of kids were mixed-race, and Jack was sure plenty of them were art students.

Gay? That was possible, but then again, if he wanted to talk to a gay kid, he might have invited Kath, too. So...

Yeah, Jack had no idea what was going on.

”What is it?” he asked.

“As you know, I never got the opportunity to have a family,” Denton said, “It just never worked out like that for me. But... well, I’ve always wanted one, and I’ve been thinking about adopting a kid and I was hoping to get your input on that.”

“Oh!” Jack grinned, “Denton, that’s a great idea! You should totally adopt a kid! You’d be a great dad!”

Denton smiled uncertainly, “You really think so?”

”I _know_ so,” Jack insisted, “I mean, you’s already got experience with kids, bein’ a teacher, so that’s already a leg up on a lot of foster parents.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I was thinking older kids might be better. I’ve heard it’s harder for teenagers to get adopted.”

”It is,” Jack confirmed, “I got lucky, gettin’ adopted at 11. Not all kids get that lucky.”

”Well, I wouldn’t really know what to do with a younger kid, anyway,” Denton admitted, “And despite your confidence, I’m not sure I’d be a very good dad to _anyone_. My old man wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy.”

”Denton, trust me. You’d be a good dad. That’s comin’ from someone who went through plenty of foster homes with ‘dads’ that were the _opposite_ of warm and fuzzy. I was pretty scared of tall men for a while, but I’s never once been scared of you.”

Jack realized once Denton had been staring at him in a concerned kind of way for a few seconds that he’d never told his teacher about his... _less than ideal_ early childhood.

”Look,” Jack sat down on the desk across from him, “How seriously have you been lookin’ at adoption? Got anyone specific in mind?”

Denton shrugged, “I haven’t _really_ started looking into it yet. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot, just never sure if I should actually do it.”

”Well, I think you’d be a great dad,” Jack said confidently, “You should do it! I’m sure the system’s got more’n a few kids in need of a good home.”

Admittedly, Jack didn’t trust the system. It had screwed him over more than a few times, and had screwed over Crutchie, Romeo, and Race at least once each.

But if Denton could become part of it, at least there’d be _one_ more safe place in there for kids to end up.

He was nodding, “I see your point. I’m going to need to think about it more, but I see your point.”

“It’s a big decision,” Jack agreed, “I get it. But... between you and me, Denton, I never had a dad. Never knew my birth father, and all the men in the system let me down one way or another. I love my mom—don’t get me wrong—but I woulda killed to have a dad like you. If ya do decide to get one, any kid to end up with you will be a lucky one.”

Denton smiled, “I’ll keep that in mind, Jack. Thank you for your confidence. And... well, I know it’s not really the same, but if you ever need to talk, or you need someone to teach you to throw a football...”

Jack laughed.

”I’m here for you, Jack. I’ll come up with dad jokes and everything.”

”I’ll keep that in mind,” Jack laughed, “But right now, I need to go meet Kath, so...”

”Right. Go. Have fun. Tell her I said ‘hi.’”

Well, this was shaping up to be a very good day indeed.

...

As usual, the meeting/sleepover wouldn’t start until a couple hours of school. Usually, this would mean everybody hanging out on the lawn in front of the school, chilling and swapping gossip and doing dumb shit while they waited.

Today, since Kath couldn’t be seen in public with them, they were hanging out in the front hallway _inside_ the school, chilling and swapping gossip and doing dumb shit while they waited.

“Ready?” Jack asked, looping his elbow through his friend’s.

”To meet a few dozen hyper theatre kids?” Kath asked, “Sure. Why not?”

“I’ve got some chocolate-covered coffee beans in my backpack if you also want to be hyper.”

She laughed, “I’m good for now. So... how does this work?”

Jack thought about it, trying to think strategically even though it wasn’t his strong suit. Honestly, being creative was so much easier than being logical.

Whatever. Might as well just start with the other girls.

”Yo, Smalls!”

”What?” Smalls called from where she was chatting with Albert, Finch, and Sniper.

”Get over here, and bring your girl!”

Kath raised an eyebrow, “Her girl?”

”Do I need to remind you that we’re all gays, here?”

”Yeah, but you didn’t say any of you actually managed to get boyfriends or girlfriends.”

”Fair.”

Smalls and Sniper came running up, both sizing up Katherine pretty quickly.

”So, you’re the girl who can’t be seen in public with us,” Sniper observed.

Kath nodded, “Katherine. And you are..?”

”Smalls,” Smalls piped up, “This is Sniper. We’re both thrilled to have more girls around this year.”

”It is a bit of a boys’ club,” Sniper agreed.

”Thanks,” Jack said.

”Aw,” Smalls hugged him, “We love ya, anyway, Cowboy. It’s just that teenage boys are disgustin’.”

Kath laughed, “Okay, we’re gonna get along great.”

Jack was about to come up with a defense when Crutchie walked up, ruffling Smalls’s hair with his free hand before sticking it out to shake Kath’s.

“You must be Katherine. I’m Crutchie.”

Kath looked a little confused, like she couldn’t understand why Crutchie would willingly be called that, but she shook his hand.

”Nice to meet you.”

”Yeah. Jack, have you seen Race?”

”He’s got fight club,” Jack reminded him.

”Ooh,” Crutchie chuckled, “With his _boyfriend_.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Smalls exclaimed in a poor imitation of Race’s voice.

The four theatre kids cackled while Katherine looked moderately confused.

”It’s a long story,” Jack explained, “Short version is that I found out who Race’s crush is. It’s Spot freakin’ Conlon. And as much as I’d love to hate on that, I can’t ‘cause he kinda saved Race’s life. They’s got a deal that if Race goes to fight club with him, he’ll come to the sleepover. But y’know. They’s _totally_ not a thing.”

Katherine nodded, “Totally. Is Spot Conlon the one who almost stabbed a kid with a pencil?”

”Yup,” Jack confirmed, “That was Jojo he almost stabbed by the way. You’ll like him—Jojo’s a sweetheart. But for now—”

”You should probably go find Davey and Sarah,” Crutchie interrupted, “They’s got somethin’ pretty important you should know.”

Jack nodded, mildly concerned, “Everythin’ okay?”

”Yeah, you should go find ‘em, anyway.”

Jack pretended not to notice how red Katherine’s face went at the mention of Sarah, silently praying he wasn’t that obvious about liking Davey.

”Wanna come, Kath?”

Katherine ran her fingers through her hair self-consciously, “Uh, yeah, why not?”

Crutchie, Smalls, and Sniper smirked, and Jack shot them a glare to tell them not to say anything.

The two of them went to go find the Jacobs siblings.

...

_”I’m tellin’ ya, Dave,” Jack said, sketching as he talked, “I think I’m cursed.”_

_”Is that so?”_

_”I’m serious! Kath and Saz ain’t the first partners I’s had who figured out they didn’t even_ like _boys after bein’ with me.”_

_Jack’s closest friend laughed, and Jack found himself staring at Davey’s smile, the way the dimming sunset light caught his eyes._

_He’d have to remember that color. Maybe Medda could use a new backdrop with a scheme that went along with it._

_”Really? Who else?”_

_Jack shrugged, looking back at the drawing he was working on. It was inspired by the picture from the strike last year, but updated a bit to fit what everyone looked like_ now _. And Spot and Hotshot were added in, too, along with Kath and Sarah.  
_

_“I had a thing with Bumper when we was 16–“_

_”The Bronx’s second?” Davey asked incredulously._

_Jack nodded, “Yeah, him. It didn’t last long. Only happened twice, actually. After that, he let me down easy on the count that he preferred girls and didn’t wanna use me when he didn’t like me like that.”_

_”That’s letting you down easy? After he let it happen twice?”_

_Jack shrugged, “He was experimentin’ and I was willin’ to take what was on offer. Not his fault it turned out he_ didn’t _like boys. Nobody’s perfect and I don’t hold it against him.”_

_”I do,” Davey grumbled._

_”Why? Jealous?”_

_It was a loaded question and they both knew it, both tensing up and avoiding eye contact._

_Crutchie, Race, Romeo, and... well, honestly,_ everyone _had been pressuring Jack to make a move. They insisted that Davey felt the same._

_Jack wasn’t so sure, but he knew that making a move would change things between them and..._

_And he liked what he and Davey were doing now. Being best friends was good enough as long as they didn’t lose the partnership they already had._

_Davey broke the tension with a small chuckle, “So, you mean to tell me that one Newsie actually loves who they’re supposed to love?”_

_Jack laughed, “Oh, the other boroughs are different from here. Queers subconsciously flock to other queers, so there ain’t many anywhere but Manhattan.”_

_”There’s some in Brooklyn.”_

_”A few,” Jack agreed, “But they‘s gotta stay hidden unless they wanna get killed. Brooklyn’s always been more of a gang than a family.”_

_”So it’s_ just _Manhattan that’s safe for queers?”_

_Jack shrugged, “Pretty much.”_

_”And no Manhattan kid has ever been straight?”_

_Jack took a deep breath._

_In the past year, Davey had seen him at his best and at his worst. They’d talked about personal things that Jack had never told anyone else, how his mother was the reason he’d wanted to go to Santa Fe, how he’d become a Newsie at only 5 when she died, and how he’d become leader when he was 14._

_But... kind of the one thing Jack had never told Davey was why he became leader so young._

_”There was a few when I was a kid,” he admitted, “In fact, Waffles was in love with a girl.”  
_

_Davey seemed to sense that it was a sensitive topic, frowning thoughtfully as he asked._

_”Waffles? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned him.”_

_Jack took a deep breath. Everyone always told him he kept things bottled up too much, and they were probably right. After all, wasn’t Jack always telling others to let out what was bothering them?_

_He was trying to trust Davey enough to do this. He could do this._

_“He was Manhattan’s leader when I was young. He was my mentor. Uh... he had a thing with a Brooklyn girl.”_

_He remembered hearing Waffles talk about her. Palomino. That was her name. Some girl who wouldn’t leave Brooklyn for him even though it was dangerous there._

_Jack didn’t know the specifics. Waffles had never shared his burdens, either. T_ _hat was probably where Jack learned it._

_”Was,” Davey noted._

_He was clearly wondering, but didn’t ask because he wasn’t like that. Davey never pushed when Jack didn’t want to talk. Not since the night of the Children’s Crusade, when he’d needed to know why Jack betrayed them. Since then, he let him keep his walls up. He asked to be let in, but didn’t try to force it.  
_

_Fuck it. That was why Jack could tell him._

_”He died when I was 14,” he explained, “He was almost 20. A bit old to be a Newsie, but nobody cared, ‘cause... ‘cause he basically raised me. Crutchie. Race. A couple others. He was gonna stay a year or two more, just till I was really old enough to lead. But that winter was the hardest I can remember. He just kept givin’ what little he was makin’ to the younger kids and gettin’ skinnier and skinnier.”  
_

_Davey grabbed his hand, seeming to know he needed the support._

_”He was so sick,” Jack whispered, “He tried to hide it, but he was in so much pain at the end. It was probably a good thing it ended, but... he was the closest thing I ever got to a dad. Sayin’ goodbye was the hardest thing I’d ever done. It hurt_ so _bad.”_

_”Jackie...”_

_Jack took a shaky breath as Davey hugged him._

_Corny as it was, Davey smelled like home. He smelled like safety, and though Jack knew he wouldn’t be judged if he did, he didn’t cry.  
_

_Davey was home. Jack didn’t know why he was just realizing it now._

_”Kiss me.”_

_”What?”_

_The shock on his face made Jack laugh._

_”Uh, ya don’t have to if ya don’t want it,” he clarified, “But I’s never trusted anyone the way I trust you, Davey. I’s never dropped my guard with anyone this much, but... but that’s not the really big thing, here.”_

_”Then what’s the big thing?”_

_Davey’s face was deadly serious, but his eyes were warm.  
_

_”I don’t just trust you with me,” Jack said softly, “I trust you with the others. With Manhattan. And I don’t know when it happened, but you somehow got past every wall I’ve got. And I ain’t gonna force ya into anythin’ if ya don’t want me, but—“_

_That was when Davey closed the space between them and kissed him gently, effectively shutting Jack up._

_“You’re an idiot,” he said, pulling away just enough to lean his forehead against Jack’s, ”Of course I want you, Jackie. I’ve been in love with you since the strike.”_

_”Oh, thank God,” Jack laughed, “I was pretty sure ya were, but not as sure as Crutchie, Race, and Romeo.”_

_“Funnily enough, they’ve been telling me the same things I’m sure they’ve told you.”_

_”Huh. Sounds like them.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Jack bit his lip, hoping his expression was more flirty and less like the shy, ecstatic, terrified kind of feeling he was feeling inside._

_”So, kiss me again?”_

_Davey rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue._

_..._

“Hmm...” Jack scanned the hallway, “You’d think findin’ someone near 6 feet tall would be easier.”

”Ooh, he’s tall?”

Jack elbowed her, “Shut up, Kath. Remember that I also know who your crush is.”

She scoffed, ”You’re using 8th grade blackmail tactics on me?”

“Possibly. But hey, if they work, they work, so—oh, there they are! Yo, Davey!”

Davey looked up from where he and Sarah were sticking off to the side, looking...

Uncharacteristically uncertain. Almost scared. That was weird.

“He’s cute,” Katherine said, apparently not noticing.

”Yeah, I know. Wait, you’re a lesbi—“

”Lesbian. Not blind, Jack.”

”Jack!” Davey exclaimed oddly nervously as he walked up.

”Uh, hi,” Jack said awkwardly, praying to God he wasn’t blushing, “Davey, this is Katherine. Kath, this is Davey.”

They shook hands, sharing a smile with a familiar kind of nostalgia, but Davey‘s focus moved back to Jack quickly.

”So... Sarah and I have a little problem.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “Define ‘little problem.’”

”I’m not a problem!”

Jack tried to stifle a laugh as a little kid popped up from behind the taller boy, apparently having been there the whole time. He was just short enough that he wasn’t that noticeable.

He had a nose like Davey’s and the same eyes as Sarah. It didn’t take much brain power to work out who he was.

Davey shot him a very familiar tired kind of look before turning to his little brother.

“Nobody said you’re a problem. It’s just you’re not really supposed to be here.”

”Well, you’re stuck with me, so suck it up!”

Jack exchanged a look with Katherine, who looked like she was trying not to laugh, then bent down to be on the kid’s level.

”You must be Les. I’m Jack.”

Les’s eyes widened, “You’re that boy David goes on and on about?”

Jack tried to keep the freak out that caused internal.

“Les!” Davey put his hand over Les’s mouth, “I do not go on and—ew!”

Les was smiling smugly as his brother whipped his hand away.

”I licked his hand.”

Jack grinned, ”I use that trick on my brothers all the time. I’s got three of ‘em, all younger than me, but not by much.”

”Any sisters?”

”Not really. But I’m kinda a big brother to anyone who needs one.”

”No thanks,” Les made a face, “Davey and Sarah are enough.”

Jack glanced up at the older brother and winked, though he didn’t really know why. It was just familiar, he guessed.

”Be nice to your big siblings,” he suggested, “They’s the ones who take care of you. Anyway, what’re ya doin’ here, Les?”

Les shrugged, “Mom and Dad are working. Sarah and Davey really wanna come to your sleepover, so they don’t know what to do with me. But I don’t get why I can’t just come, too.”

“That would solve the problem, wouldn’t it?” Jack agreed, “But unfortunately, this is a ‘big kids only’ sleepover. And you’ll grow, but ya ain’t quite big enough yet.”

Les still looked like he wanted to pout a bit, but he nodded like he understood, “Maybe next year.”

”Maybe. Now, I’m gonna talk to Davey, so how ‘bout you take my friend, Kath, here and introduce her to Sarah, okay?”

”Okay!”

Kath allowed Les to lead her over to where Sarah was still talking with Jojo and Mike, though she looked like she was having a bit of a gay panic.

”You’re really good with kids,” Davey noted.

Jack shrugged, “I’s helped babysit Buttons’s little siblings a few times.”

They stood there, just staring at each other, for an awkward amount of time.

”Saz’ll stay,” Davey said finally, “I’ll take Les home and come back later. I just thought you should know, before...”

”What? Why would ya leave if ya don’t want to?”

”Cause Les—“

”Uh-uh,” Jack interrupted, “You can both stay. What time do your folks get off?”

”Dad could be here by 8:00, but...”

“So just have him come get Les then. We always order too much pizza, anyway, so it’ll be good to have an extra mouth to help us not waste it.”

Davey still looked a little uncertain, but he nodded, “Okay, are you really sure the club advisor will be okay with it?”

”Mom’d never want someone to miss out. I’m sure. Hey! Albert hides his shoppin’ cart out in the woods behind the school, so do ya wanna—“

”No.”

”Okay, well I’m gonna—“

”No, you’re not,” Davey interrupted, “No. It’s dangerous and stupid and you’re smarter than that.”

Jack grinned, “That’s debatable.”

”Think of the example you’re settin’ for my baby brother, then.”

Davey had _no_ right to look that attractive, confidently out-arguing Jack with an actually really good point.

”Fine. I’ll do it another day.”

”I’ll stop you again another day.”

Jack thought back to what Crutchie had said. About him and Davey bringing out the best in each other.

Well, there was no way for him to know what Davey was like when he wasn’t around, whether he was really more reserved and uptight.

But he did know that if it was anyone else asking him not to take a few friends and ride that shopping cart down a hill, Jack probably wouldn’t have listened.

He didn’t know why he listened to Davey, but it just... felt right.

”So, how’s Race holding up?” Davey asked after a weird amount of silence.

Jack shrugged, “Still not lettin’ me help. He still won’t say exactly what happened in that dream that freaked him out so bad. But he seemed alright today. Can ya blame him? He’s spendin’ the night with his crush.”

”In a room full of other people.”

”Are ya sayin’ ya wouldn’t enjoy being at a sleepover with your crush?”

Jack was definitely enjoying being here with his, even knowing the only way anything could remotely happen would be if things got weird during truth or dare, which, honestly, he wouldn’t put past his friends.

Actually, the person he was most worried about making things weird was Romeo, but he was hoping his baby brother would have more tact than that.

Davey cleared his throat, not meeting Jack’s eyes, “I guess I would.”

”Great! Well, we got a few hours to kill, so wanna go relieve Les of fifth wheel duty?“

”Fifth wheeling?”

”Well, Jojo and Mike is a thing, and Kath has a crush on Sarah, so... oh, I probably shoulda asked if you could keep a secret.”

”Yeah,” Davey agreed, “But I can, so you’ve got nothing to worry ‘bout.”

Jack nodded.

He hesitated for a second before offering a hand to lead the taller boy through the crowded hallway.

Davey hesitated for a second before taking it, but he did.

Jack didn’t know why that caused such a bolt of lightning to shoot up his arm.

Must be something in the air.

_..._

_Jack took a deep breath._

_This was the worst day of his life._

_So far, anyway. Future days were sure to be worse._

_This was different from last week. Jack had watched Sniper get shot, true, but this was just... it was different._

_That wasn’t to say that last week hadn’t hurt. It had. He hadn’t gotten time to process it right away, but once the battle was over and he got the time to fully realize what had happened..._

_It had felt like Jack had gotten shot, too._

_But Finch was hysterical, and Albert was trying to comfort him but crying just as hard, and Les, Tommy Boy, and Henry, among others, were in shock, so Jack had shoved his own grief aside and put all his energy into taking care of them. Cataloguing everyone’s injuries. Doing a headcount._

_Rigging a stretcher to carry out Sniper.  
_

_Jack had nearly panicked, realizing that Ike was missing, until Mike told him that Hotshot was injured and he’d gone with him to the infirmary._

_Though the poor kid wasn’t one of his, and wasn’t even a kid anymore, it had broken Jack’s heart to find out that Hotshot died_ _from his wounds._

_He’d been the one comforting Smalls and Ike._

_Davey and Race had tried to help, but in the end, the two grieving lovers had wanted the man who’d been their fake big brother since childhood._

_Jack had known Smalls since she was 4 and Ike since he was 8. He was as good as a real big brother to both of them._

_And he’d known Sniper since she was 8. He remembered meeting her. He’d been 12 at the time, and had spotted Smalls’s puppy crush on her a mile away._

_Jack remembered trying to convince her to leave her parents for good, on too many mornings spent patching up wounds her father gave her overnight. He remembered Smalls’s smile the night she finally came home with them to the Lodging House at age 14, saying she was there to stay. He remembered turning her old man away at the door when he came looking for her._

_Sniper was one of the ones Jack had known since before he was leader._

_Which was why it hurt so much that there was nothing he could do to save her._

_Even knowing that logically, there was nothing he could have done, Jack blamed himself. For her and for Hotshot. Two of the 1899 strike kids dead._

_Admittedly, Jack hadn’t known Hotshot well, but he knew that besides just Ike, who was utterly_ destroyed _, Spot was devastated, no matter how well the former King of Brooklyn hid it._

_He’d walked in on Race writing to their girl, Bluebird, back in New York. Race had shakily explained that Blue was close to Hotshot, and he’d been her second for a while when she became King. Jack didn’t care much about the details, because it had hit him that he’d have to write to Crutchie about this._

_It was agony to write that letter, but Jack did it. He’d lied on his enlistment form about having a crippled brother as a next of kin for a reason._

_For some reason, writing about it had made it more real, and Jack had barely been able to do it._

_But he did._

_He sent that letter, just like he was sending the one he had in his pocket now, detailing Mike and Ike’s deaths._

_That scout mission had been dangerous and they both knew it. But Ike was too wrapped in his grief to care and Mike wasn’t willing to let him go alone._

_”I know it’s probably suicide,” he’d said, “But if I don’t go, he’ll go by himself. At least this way, he’ll have someone to remind him to be careful... but just in case it don’t turn out that way, give this to Jojo, ‘kay? Tell him how much I love him.”_

_Jack had wanted to stop them, or at least go with them, but he hadn’t._

_Smalls still hadn’t spoken since she lost Sniper. Buttons had an arm injury he needed to take care of. Sarah needed help washing bandage rolls. As agonizing as the choice was, Jack had stayed where more people needed him._

_All he’d been able to do was hope Mike would keep his twin from doing anything stupid_ _._

_And he_ had _._

_They were almost back when that old shell exploded under their feet._

_Both of them were dead in an instant as their family was powerless to do anything but watch._

_Jack had never heard a sound like Jojo’s scream._

_He’d given him the letter Mike left for him, but a letter from someone who was dead couldn’t be nearly enough. Jack didn’t know if he’d even read it._

_...think of the devil, apparently._

_”Jojo?”_

_The poor man jumped, having been staring into space, just leaning against the wall of the bar in the town they were staying in._

_Clearly he’d been somewhere else. Jack’s heart twisted painfully._

_”Hey. I’m goin’ to the post office. Wanna come?”_

_Jojo stared at him blankly for a couple seconds, then shook his head._

_”No, I’m fine.”_

_...wait a second._

_Jack took a couple steps closer, “Jojo, have you been drinkin’?”_

_“So what if I have?”_

_”You don’t drink.”_

_”The man I love died today, Jack. I think I has an excuse.”_

_”Jojo,” Jack put his arm around him, “How ‘bout you come with me to drop off this letter to Crutchie, then I get ya back to the barracks, okay?”_

_Jojo shook him off, picking up the gun propped against the wall, “Nah, I don’t think I will.”  
_

_”Jojo...”_

_”No,” Jojo snapped, his words slurred but full of venom, “Shut up, Jack. Just shut up. Leave me alone.”_

_Jack hadn’t known Jojo was capable of the kind of anger currently in his eyes._

_Was this really the same kid that used to flinch when others swore? The sweet, cautious, shy boy who became a Newsie late, at 13, and always used to go to church on Sundays?_

_No, it wasn’t. However sad it was, that kid was not the man standing in front of Jack now._

_”Jojo, you’re drunk. C’mon, let’s—“_

_”Fuck off, Jack,” he hissed through his teeth, “How would ya feel if it was Davey? Huh? Would ya wanna tear your eyes out ‘cause everythin’ ya see reminds you of him? Would ya go out to a damn bar willingly for the first time in your life just to get 5 seconds where it doesn’t hurt to breathe ‘cause of how much ya miss him?_ _Would ya wanna kill the bastards who took him from you?”_

_Jack wished he could say that no, he would be sad but do better because it was what Davey would want._

_He couldn’t. Because he knew that if it was Davey, he... well, he didn’t know what he would do._

_”Where ya goin’?” Jack called after him as he walked away._

_”To kill some goddamn Germans!”_

_Jack didn’t bother following, knowing it would just make Jojo more upset. He wouldn’t get far, anyway. The sentries would stop him from going on whatever revenge mission he had in his head._

_Scarf was on sentry duty right now. He was formerly one of Spot’s; a young man with a good head on his shoulders. Hopefully he’d also be able to stop Jojo from saying anything he’d regret in front of the men from the unit passing through, though Jack didn’t think any queer with more than two brain cells was physically capable of getting drunk enough to out themself._

_Then again... Jojo was aiming to cause death, and it didn’t seem like he particularly cared if that death was his own._

_Jack stumbled around the side of the building, trying to get where no one would see before he broke down.  
_

_It wasn’t fair.  
_

_Mike and Ike didn’t deserve this. Sniper and Hotshot didn’t deserve this. Smalls and Jojo_ definitely _didn’t deserve it._

_Why couldn’t they just have stayed young forever, those kids they’d been when they won their miniature war without_ losing _anyone?_

_”Jack?”_

_Jack tried rapidly to compose himself before realizing it was Davey._

_“Dave...”_

_Davey hugged him, and Jack found himself sobbing into his lover’s shoulder._

_”It’s not fair,” he cried, “It’s not fair, Davey.”_

_”I know,” Davey mumbled, and Jack realized that he was crying, too._

_Jack then remembered how the Jacobs twins had always been close with the Guzman twins and felt damn stupid for being so occupied with Jojo that he hadn’t checked on Davey or Sarah._

_“Don’t do that,” Davey said shakily, “I can tell you’re beating yourself up over something, so stop it.”_

_”You can’t tell me what to do.”_

_”Need I remind you that my sister is your wife?”_

_”Try to intimidate me and I’ll sic_ your _wife on ya.”_

_”Oh, no, don’t sic the Katherine on me.”  
_

_The attempts at humor were probably in bad taste, especially with how they were both crying and neither of them could find it funny right now.  
_

_”I saw Jojo headed outta town. Was it just me or was he—“_

_”Absolutely sloshed?” Jack interrupted, “He definitely was. I know ‘cause I found him outside the bar, here.”_

_Davey was silent for a second before responding._

_”The sentries won’t let him get very far.”_

_”Yeah. He lost his world today. He’s angrier than I’s ever seen him. He needs space. For now, at least.”_

_Reciting what he had to do for someone he loved was automatic for Jack. He’d known Jojo a shorter time than most of the others, but long enough to read him and what he needed.  
_

_And yet he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said._

_That just made him cry harder._

_”Whoa, Jackie. What is it?“_

_Jack couldn’t find it in himself to answer._

_Davey ran his fingers through his hair, “Shh. Talk to me, Jack. What do you know?”_

_Jack struggled to take a deep breath, “I know- I know I don’t know what I’d do if it was you.”_

_He felt Davey gasp and wished he could take it back. That statement would cause shock in anyone._

_”I love you,” Davey whispered, because he couldn’t promise he_ wouldn’t _die in this war._

_Jack swiped his tears away furiously, “I love you, too.”_

_He realized Davey was looking at someone who’d come out of the bar, staring at them from a few feet away._

_God, it had been years since Jack last saw him, and he could still recognize that stupid face._

_The stupid face that had seen them._

_Jack growled as he dragged Oscar Delancey into the alley and slammed him against the wall._

_”Feelin’ brave, Delancey?” he growled, “Test me right now.”_

_”If you out us, America loses soldiers,” Davey said, significantly calmer though anger still burned in his voice, “Which means more work for you.”_

_Oscar shrugged, “If I was gonna out ya, I woulda done it when we was kids.”  
_

_Of all the answers Jack had expected, it wasn’t that one._

_Davey looked shocked, too, “What?”  
_

_Oscar laughed, exhausted or drunk or both, “Oh, you weren’t that bad, but Kelly ain’t as slick as he thinks he is.”_

_”But if you knew...” Jack struggled for words, “_ _Why_ didn’t _ya out us?”  
_

_”I think ya forget I wasn’t in the business of associatin’ with Snyder or the bulls if I didn’t have to, either. And besides, that’s cheatin’, ain’t it? If ya go to jail, I lose the pleasure of soakin’ ya, myself.”_

_”Bullshit,” Davey said immediately, “What’s the real reason?”_

_Jack was inclined to agree. Besides the fact that Oscar was drunk, Jack had known the piece of shit long enough to know he was lying.  
_

_The fact that he was drunk probably contributed to how he wasn’t fighting that hard to get away from answering._

_”’Cause it woulda been pretty fuckin’ hypocritical of me,” Oscar snarled._

_...what?_

_Oscar sighed, and Jack realized that there was something off_ _about him. The aggression the Delancey brothers always seemed to carry wasn’t there. Something about him seemed numb._

_It was the opposite of how Jojo was, yet somehow similar._

_”Outin’ one queer while protectin’ another woulda been pretty shitty, even for me.”_

_Jack exchanged a look with Davey, “Morris..?”_

_”He didn’t tell me for a long while,” Oscar mumbled, “But yeah, he was like you.”_

_The way he used the word ‘was’ wasn’t lost on Jack._

_It didn’t make him happy the way it should have to hear that Morris Delancey was dead._

_And seeing Oscar broken and grieving? Jack couldn’t feel anything but pity._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Oscar scoffed, “No you ain’t.”_

_”If Morris was queer, why was he so horrible to us?” Davey asked skeptically, “I distinctly remember you both using it as an insult.”_

_”Why do ya think?” Oscar growled, “You was happy together how he never could be.”_

_”Your brother was such an ass ‘cause he was_ jealous _?” Jack asked incredulously._

_Oscar just laughed, “Say it however ya want, Cowboy. I picked fights with ya ‘cause you pissed me off. And that was part of why Morris picked fights, too. But at the end of the day, he hated himself more than he hated you.”  
_

_Jack took a deep breath, “And he couldn’ta told us that back when it actually mattered?”_

_“You wouldn’ta listened if he did.”_

_Jack... couldn’t deny that. He wouldn’t have trusted anything either of the Delanceys said.  
_

_The only reason he was trusting Oscar’s word now was because you couldn’t fake the look in his eyes._

_”Remember Sniper? And the twins—Mike and Ike?”_

_Davey gave him a look asking if he was sure, but Jack was. The old line between Newsies and Delanceys... well, it didn’t seem so big anymore._

_”Yeah. Why?”_

_”They’re...” Jack took a deep breath, “They’re gone, too. So... I guess what I’m sayin’ is that we get it.”_

_Davey’s hand found his as Jack stepped aside to let Oscar leave, figuring it was safe._

_”No, ya don’t,” he corrected, “That’s another thing I hated about ya, Kelly. No matter how many people ya lose, you always got more. You’s got so many people you love. But me? My brother was all I had. He always was.”_

_...was Oscar Delancey about to cry?_

_”You got no idea what it feels like to have nothin’ left to lose.”_

_After Oscar left, Davey sighed._

_”I never thought I’d feel bad for the Delancey brothers. I mean, we all used to wish bad things would happen to them, but this is... a lot.”_

_Jack nodded, “I can’t tell ya how many times I wished they’d trip in front of a carriage, but this...”_

_This was something Jack wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy._

_Sure, he knew they hadn’t_ had _to end up like this. If they’d been nicer when they were all kids, they would’ve been adopted into the group as family. Oscar didn’t have to have nothing to lose, here, and it was his own damn fault he did._

_Still, Jack couldn’t help but feel sorry for him._

_All he could do was pray that he wouldn’t end up in the exact same situation._

_..._

Acting games served multiple purposes in this godforsaken club, and Jack was praying they didn’t scare anyone away while simultaneously knowing that if they couldn’t handle the club at their weirdest, this year’s newbies wouldn’t survive a show, anyway.

The one most likely to be scared away was probably Spot, but with the way he’d been sticking to Racer like glue the whole afternoon, that wouldn’t be too bad in Jack’s book.

Unfortunately, that was unlikely. He wasn’t even playing, instead sitting against the wall, outside the circle everyone else was standing in.

Technically, the purpose of acting games was to make them better actors, but that wasn’t really how the club usually used them.

The number one priority was messing with friends and having fun, and if they took some mental notes on technique stuff, that was just an added bonus.

Today, Jack stood in the middle of the circle to explain a game that should mess with _plenty_ of his friends.

“So,” he called, projecting the way all actors knew how to, “This game don’t really have a name, but it’s pretty simple. If you’re it, you’s got a phrase you gotta say, and then whoever you’s sayin’ it to needs to not react beyond sayin’ back what they’s supposed to say. It’s pretty simple, and I’m gonna demonstrate on Specs, here.”

”Really, Cowboy?” Specs asked, already smiling.

”Really. Now, square up.”

Specs schooled his expression to something a bit too serious to really be a neutral non-reaction face, but Jack decided to let that slide.

Jack, on the other hand, smiled his best flirtatious smile, enunciating his words so much it was ridiculous.

”Honey, do ya _love_ me?”

Specs remained serious, “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

Les laughed loudly, and Specs turned to wink at him, still maintaining his serious face.

”So, he didn’t crack,” Jack explained, “That means I gotta do it on somebody else.”

He walked around the inside of the circle, contemplating.

There were a few people besides Specs who would never crack, and there were a few who definitely _would_ , so Jack didn’t want to pick on them. His three brothers were already out of the running, but on the short list of people left, there was...

”Honey, do you love me?” Jack asked, intentionally being obnoxious as he put his hands on Finch’s shoulders.

”Wow, ouch,” Albert deadpanned, “ _Right_ in front of me. Okay.”

Jack knew him better than to think he was actually jealous, and it definitely worked in his favor as Finch probably wouldn’t have cracked on his own, which meant he had to switch spots with Jack.

“10 seconds to think of what angle ya wanna take...” Jack said, “And... go!”

Finch started walking around the circle, ultimately stopping in front of Race with a mischievous smirk.

”Honey, do you love me?”

Race’s back was to where he was sitting, but from across the circle Jack could see Spot’s scowl.

Oh, yeah. There was no denying that kid was falling _hard_ for Jack’s brother, as... _unpleasant_ as that knowledge was...

At least it lowered the chances of him breaking Race’s heart intentionally.

”Honey, I—“ that was when Race broke, laughing loudly, “I’m sorry. I can’t. And it ain’t even ‘cause of you, Finchy, it’s...”

He dissolved into laughter again, and Jack thought to look at Albert next to him, who was clearly death glaring his best friend on purpose.

”Y’know, ya can’t just help whoever’s it, Albie.”

Albert seemed completely unbothered by that statement, “But if I don’t, they’s less likely to help me.”

”Exactly,” Jack smacked him upside the head, “Stop cheatin’, ya little rat bastard.”

”There are children present, Cowboy. _Your_ boyfriend’s little brother, in fact.”

“Davey is _not_ my—“

“Honey, do you love me?” Race asked, exaggeratedly grabbing his victim’s arm.

Katherine stared him down, stone cold, “Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

“Yas, queen!” Romeo shouted.

Kath still didn’t break, but she curtsied jokingly.

Race seemed a little bummed he couldn’t get her, but that didn’t seem to stick as he shot a shit-eating grin over his shoulder at Jack.

_Oh, no._

Jack shook his head, but Race was already making a beeline for Davey.

”Honey, do you love me?”

Les was cracking up, and even Sarah was clearly trying not to laugh, but Davey stayed serious.

He looked almost bored, as if he dealt with this all the time. As if Race’s bullshit was as normal to him as it was to Jack.

It felt right that it _was_ normal to him, but that... was a little creepy.

It sent a shiver up his spine when Davey shot a glance over at him, his face still bored, as if he was asking ‘can you believe this audacity?’

Well, everything except his eyes was bored.

Was he... flirting?

Was Davey Jacobs flirting with him?

Jack’s mind kind of dropped blank as Davey turned back to Race.

”Honey, I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

”Dam—dang,” Race said a little too loudly, “Didn’t know ya could do that. Jack’s the best actor we got here. Looks like there’s some of _him in you_.“

Jack didn’t catch the somewhat poorly-executed innuendo until he heard Spot Conlon laugh.

When he did catch it, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill Race more for saying it, or Spot for the startled, excited expression on his little brother’s face at his laugh.

Judging by the look on Crutchie’s face, he felt about the same.

Jack guessed he was just lucky it seemed like Davey didn’t get that innuendo.

It probably wasn’t a good thing that he was leaning on the other boy so much already, but Jack didn’t know what he’d do if Race being a dumbass ruined their friendship and he _lost_ Davey.

...

Jack highly doubted things could get much weirder than they did with Truth or Dare, but you never knew.

Mr. Jacobs had come to pick up Les hours ago, so things weren’t exactly remaining PG anymore, and pretty much no topic was off limits in the circle of sleeping bags set up on the stage.

Jack had a feeling he was going to regret this game of Never Have I Ever, played with shots in the form of chicken nuggets with hot sauce on them which you had to eat every five rounds you lost.

His brothers were _definitely_ going to single him out, here.

Of course, with this group, it was inevitable that the five fingers everyone was currently holding up were not going to stay up.

”Never have I ever...” Jack contemplated what their first question should be, “Ran over a squirrel.”

”Jack, that’s terrible,” Crutchie chided.

”Oh, I know. Anyone?”

Crutchie sighed, then put a finger down, looking immensely guilty. No one else did.

What? If Jack’s brothers were going to single him out, he was allowed to single them out.

”You ran over a squirrel?” Elmer asked incredulously.

”I cried for like an hour afterwards!” Crutchie said defensively, “Can we go clockwise this time so I can go next?”

Jack nodded, dreading his brother’s question but knowing it would be better to just rip off the bandaid.

”Never have I ever had a crush on someone currently in this circle.”

”That’s not fair!” Race groaned.

Crutchie shrugged, ”Nobody said it had to be!”

Jack sighed, but put a finger down. Everyone in their group who already had a partner put a finger down. Race sighed and counted one down. Kath blushed as she did. Elmer and Buttons were clearly intentionally not looking at each other.

Huh. Interesting. Both Sarah and Spot did, too. Good for Kath and Race, Jack guessed.

Davey was keeping his face neutral as he put a finger down, as if that could distract from how red his face was.

Jack was not going to stare. Nope. Instead, he could just... look out to see who _hadn’t_ put one down. Which was... just Tommy Boy, Henry, Crutchie, and a few of the shifty crew kids.

Race was next.

”Never have I ever snuck out past curfew.”

Jack had to laugh at how many people that got out.

Also at how surprised Sarah and Davey looked to see each other only having three fingers left up.

The next few rounds passed without anybody getting out, even if Jack was reduced to one finger left up.

He wasn’t particularly threatened by the idea of eating hot sauce. Jack _was_ half Hispanic, after all. It was more about being competitive and losing a game.

Then Henry grinned at him and Jack knew he was in for it.

”Never have I ever intentionally set up a couple of friends.”

”For _some_ people in this damn circle, you’re welcome, by the way,” Jack said, catching the paper plate of hot sauce nuggets.

They’d put it on a scooter they stole from the gym to make it easy to transport. So far, as long as they didn’t push it too fast, it didn’t make a mess.

Jack consoled himself on his loss by knowing some of his friends would flinch at the hot sauce the way he didn’t.

”Uh, pass the scooter.”

Well, that was unexpected.

Jack did push the scooter over, but was still super confused, ”Wait, Kath, when did you get out?”

”Well, I lost one for ‘having a crush on someone in the circle,’” she explained, “Another for ‘snuck out past curfew.’ Blink said ‘has drunk alcohol,’ which I have because I stole some champagne at one of my dad’s fancy parties. Hotshot said ‘has punched someone’ which I have, and I literally _just_ set up Buttons and Elmer over truth or dare, so...”

“Oh, you’s _definitely_ one of us,” Romeo said, laughing.

Katherine raised her chicken nugget like a toast, “Wow. I get to be a dysfunctional theatre kid. Thanks.”

Jack was sure she was very aware of how Sarah laughed at that.

She winced a little at the burn of the hot sauce, but she didn’t stop chewing or ask for water.

_Kath Plumber. One of the strongest people of all time._

That was a weird thought. Katherine’s last name wasn’t Plumber.

Just another thing to add to the list, Jack guessed, but he didn’t have time to think about that. The game was going again.

_..._

_”Medic!” Jack screamed, “We need a medic over here! Smalls! Somebody go find Smalls! Please!”_

_No one could hear him. They were all further down the trench, and hopefully, those shells had missed them._

_Jack and Davey hadn’t been that lucky._

_”Jackie,” Davey mumbled, “Why are you yelling?”_

_Jack dropped to his knees in front of his lover._

_His best friend, his Santa Fe, his moon, his everything.  
_

_David “Walking Mouth” Jacobs._

_The only person Jack had ever truly loved in a romantic way._

_A man on the ground, a growing stain of red in his stomach where the shrapnel had ripped through him._

_”Dave,” he whispered, “Davey, it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get help.”_

_But he didn’t._

_He couldn’t move._

_Jack was frozen, his hands not doing enough to stop the blood._

_Davey couldn’t even feel it.  
_

_There would be nothing Smalls could do. This was the kind of wound that didn’t heal._

_”You’re crying,” Davey whispered, “It’s okay, Jackie. Shh.”_

_Jack choked on a broken laugh at that. Davey was the one dying, here, and Jack was the one being comforted? That wasn’t right._

_”It’s okay,” Davey repeated, “Talk to me. What do you know, Jackie?”_

_”I... I know... God, I can’t do this right now, Dave.”_

_”No, you need to calm down.”_

_”I can’t,” Jack sobbed, “Davey, you’re—“_

_”I know,” Davey said._

_His voice was quiet but firm and it made Jack freeze. Time stopped for a second and he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t respond._

_”I know,” Davey whispered again, restarting the clock._

_His bloodstained fingers came up to brush Jack’s hair off his forehead, a gesture so familiar it had never been appreciated enough. Just one of a thousand Jack knew he couldn’t live without._

_”I know,” Davey repeated, “I have to go soon, Jackie.“_

_”Don’t,” Jack sobbed, “Please. Please, Davey, don’t leave me.”_

_”I’m sorry,” Davey said quietly, “But when I’m gone, the others are gonna need you. I know it’s not fair. It shouldn’t be you, but it is. You’re the only one who can do this.”_

_”I can’t. Davey, I can’t. Not without you.”_

_Jack tried to put more pressure on his wound, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t just his hands that were shaking, or even his arms. It was his entire body—his soul—being wracked with sobs and panic._

_”You can,” Davey insisted, “You can. They‘ll need you, so you can. I wish you didn’t have to, but... but...”_

_Jack knew the tears on Davey’s face were his as he started crying even harder.  
_

_Davey was slipping away and they both knew it._

_”I wish we had more time,” Davey whispered, “There’s so many things I wanna say to you. So many things I wish we could do.”_

_Jack struggled for words, “I-I... Davey, please. No. I’m not ready for this.”  
_

_Davey put his hand over Jack’s on his wound, rubbing circles with his thumb like they were just enjoying some alone time in the Lodging House._

_If his closed his eyes between sobs, Jack could almost imagine it.  
_

_But he could feel the shakiness in his lover’s hand and he knew that Davey was scared.  
_

_He wasn’t ready for this, either, but neither of them had a choice._

_”Jackie,” Davey whispered calmly, “Tell me what you know.”_

_Jack took a deep, shaky breath. He forced his voice to clear enough to speak the truth._

_Enough to give Davey the truth._

_”I know you’ll see Sarah, wherever you’re goin’.”_

_”I’ll tell her you said hello,” Davey mumbled._

_That laugh almost made Jack lose his focus, but he steeled his nerves and continued, his voice only shaking a little._

_”I know you’ll take care of Buttons, and Jojo, and Mike, and Ike, and Tommy Boy, and Sniper until I get there. And you’ll keep Hotshot and Scarf safe for Spot.”_

_”Yeah, I will,” Davey’s voice became urgent for the first time, almost like he could finally feel the pain, “Jack. Jack, you need to tell Les I love him. He’s not gonna get here in time so I need you to tell Les I love him. Tell him, please.”_

_Jack nodded quickly, “I will.”_

_”Okay,” Davey relaxed again, his eyes filled with exhaustion._

_His chest rose and fell under Jack’s hands, getting slower and slower as Jack’s trembled with each breath._

_”What else do you know?” he murmured, barely awake._

_”I know I’ll take care of the others while you’re gone,” Jack whispered, forcing the words to come out without screaming._

_”Just as long as you can,” Davey muttered, “Don’t... don’t feel too bad if you can’t keep them all safe. Just think... think of it as hand... handing ‘em off to me. Tell the others I love them, too. I... I never asked for... for a few dozen mo... more younger siblings, but... but I wouldn’t trade... trade them for anything._

_Jack focused on Davey’s chest rising and falling. Up and down. Up and down. The rhythm was slowing, and he was forcing himself not to panic, desperately trying to think of a way he could possibly keep himself sane once that rhythm inevitably stopped._

_Nothing came up, but Jack knew that Davey was right. He would think of something because it was what the others would need. He knew he would._

_He wanted to freeze time, wanted to make it go backward, whatever, just to keep Davey here with him for a little longer._

_There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to paint something beautiful with his words to make Davey understand everything clawing at his insides, the raw emotions he’d been carrying for years all surging to the surface with no way and no time to voice them all._

_They were almost out of time, and Jack had so much left to say, but one fact mattered above all others._

_”I know that I love you,” he whispered, “So much. I love you more than anything, Davey Jacobs.”_

_”I love you, too,” Davey whispered back, closing his eyes, “It’ll be alright, Jackie. It’ll... it’ll be...”_

_Up... down._

_Up..._

_...down._

_Jack heard something quiet but high pitched as the rhythm of Davey’s breathing stopped._

_It took him a second to realize it was coming from him, a trembling staccato of sound as he pulled Davey close, sobbing into his hair._

_He could hear boots running towards them already. The others were coming, and they would need someone to help them through this._

_He would find a way to patch himself up, to stick his shattered pieces together into something resembling his old self for them. He always did._

_Nevermind that this was worse than any of his nightmares._

_Jack kissed his lover’s forehead, wiping the tears off both of their cheeks._

_”Tell the others we’ve lost I’ll see them soon,” he whispered._

_He took a deep breath and looked up in time to see Henry and Katherine and Race and Spot and_ Les _round the corner._

_..._

“Jack?”

Normally, Jack would find it weird that Elmer was confronting him in a bathroom, but the urgency in his voice meant weirdness got set aside, finding out what was wrong being more important.

He’d seen Elmer have panic attacks before, and this didn’t quite look like one yet, but the fear in his eyes could definitely build to one if Jack didn’t talk him down _right now_.

Fortunately, he had plenty of experience talking people down from panic attacks.

“Hey,” he put his hands on Elmer’s shoulders, “Hey, El, it’s okay. Ain’t no fire, kid. You’re okay.”

For some reason, Elmer flinched at the word ‘fire.’

That was weird. Somehow, Jack guessed that was a trigger he hadn’t known about.

”Hey, talk to me,” he said, “What’s five things you can see?”

Elmer shook his head rapidly, “No, no, no, Jack, we don’t have time for that! Something’s gonna happen tonight and I _know_ you and the others can feel it, too!”

”What?”

Jack had no idea what he was talking about, here.

Elmer took a deep breath, and something in his eyes solidified. He still looked scared, but it seemed like he’d made up his mind about something. Some big decision.

”You can feel the weird energy in the air, right?” he asked, “Like somethin’ bad is gonna happen?”

Jack... _did_ feel like something bad was going to happen, but he didn’t know if he’d call it a weird energy in the air.

Still, he nodded, “Yeah?”

There was something in his friend’s face that was kind of broken, like he had lived through terrible things and kept it to himself, holding horrifying memories where no one else could see them.

With a chill, Jack realized that he didn’t know exactly when, but he’d seen that expression before.

”Jack,” Elmer whispered urgently, “ _Please_ tell me you remember.”

That was... a confusing request.

”Remember what?” he asked carefully.

”Our first round,” Elmer insisted, “ _Shit_. Shit, ya don’t remember. I kinda thought I was the only one, but I really hoped I was wrong, and... _shit_.”

“What’re you talkin’ about? Talk to me, El. What’s this about a ‘first round’?”

”I remembered by writin’ down things I knew for sure. It wasn’t easy, and I still don’t remember everything, but it worked to some extent, so... so’s I’s just gotta list out the facts for ya. From the dreams, since they all form a scrambled up life story, all out of order. Jack, you was born in 1882.”

”What?”

Jack knew for a fact he was born in 2003.

“Your parents died when you was really little,” Elmer said insistently, “So’s you became a Newsie. You became leader of our borough—Manhattan—when you was 14.”

”Elmer, I don’t—“

He wasn’t done, “You met Davey the day before ya helped lead a strike against the big boss—Joe Pulitzer. It was 1899, Jack. The Children’s Crusade—we learned ‘bout it in history—that was us!”

Jack didn’t really know what to think, now.

He was more than a little worried, but also...

Something in him recognized that story, even if he wished he didn’t. It felt like a string he didn’t want to pull, like there was something bad on the end of it.

”It was dangerous bein’ gay in 1899,” Elmer continued, “But damn near all of us in Manhattan were. We protected and covered for each other. I thinks that’s why we all stayed in touch even after we aged out and moved to better jobs—‘cause we had a bond that just couldn’t be broke. At least... not until 1917.”

For some reason, the mention of that year had every muscle in Jack’s body tense, every nerve put on-edge.

”World War I,” Elmer said grimly, “We all got drafted, I think, and... and I still can’t remember that part, but I think we _died_. But Jack, I remember the feel of the night ‘fore we left! It felt like tonight. It felt _bad_.”

Jack was trying to process all this, but it was... beyond confusing.

Elmer seemed to _genuinely_ think they were soldiers in World War I.

He seemed to think he _remembered_ it.

Jack’s mind flashed back to his nightmares. Of Sniper getting shot in the head. Of Tommy Boy going down with two bullets through his shoulder. Of Mike and Ike stepping on a bomb.

They did seem to fit a World War I setting.

...was Jack really believing this?

”I know it sounds crazy,” Elmer said shakily, “But it’s true, Jack. We had lives before this, and I don’t know why, but we got a second chance and we’s just formin’ the same friendships and relationships over again.”

Jack remembered how it had felt _right_ to see Finch and Albert together. To see Ike and Hotshot. To see Smalls and Sniper.

All this made sense in a twisted kind of way, but...

But thinking of how if this was true, Jack had watched many of his friends _die_ was too much.

He wasn’t proud of just walking out of the bathroom and leaving Elmer there, but it was what he did.

...

Jack was having trouble thinking of anything except his conversation with Elmer in the bathroom, but it didn’t matter so much considering the energy of the sleepover was winding down, anyway.

By around midnight, everyone was getting tired, but they were all too scared to sleep.

Elmer was right about weird energy being in the air, if nothing else.

God, Jack still couldn’t decide if he believed him or not. It seemed crazy. It seemed impossible. And yet...

Jack instinctively protected _this_ specific group of kids. He always had. He knew them better than he knew himself and trusted them after a childhood that should have made him trust _no one_.

And he trusted Davey even more than any of them, after knowing him only two weeks.

Elmer had implied that meeting Davey was an integral part of his backstory.

Whether it was true or not, it seemed like the kind of story that didn’t have a happy ending.

Jack didn’t like tragedies. He’d never watched Titanic for the specific purpose of avoiding a sad story.

He had a feeling if he went to sleep tonight, he would dream. And he doubted a dream with this kind of bad feeling in the air would be a good one.

”Hey, Crutchie?” he asked quietly, unable to keep his thoughts to himself any longer.

This was the kind of question he really wanted to ask Davey, in truth, but the implication that they had been a _thing_ seemed like it would make it awkward.

”What?” Crutchie asked, yawning.

”Do ya ever think about like... past lives?”

Crutchie was silent for a second, then shrugged.

”Not really. But El talks at me ‘bout his conspiracy theories plenty. Why?”

”Well...” Jack took a deep breath, “Ya ever think El might be _right_?”

After taking a second to process that, Crutchie looked a little worried.

”You feelin’ alright?”

”Look, it’s just... we had a talk earlier, and he was pretty rattled, but he actually... he said some things...”

”Spit it out,” Crutchie prompted.

”He said things that I _recognized_ ,” Jack admitted, “He kept sayin’ all these details ‘bout me that... that part of me remembered, too.”

”Jack, y’know that sounds...”

”Crazy. I know. But it’s just... what _if_? I mean, you feel that weird energy in the air, right?”

”Like an explosion waitin’ to happen,” he muttered, “Yeah, I guess I do.”

He yawned, which made Jack yawn, too.

Aw, shit. Looking around, _everyone_ was tired. But this weird energy was making them scared to sleep.

None of them would unless Jack did, and... as scared as he was of a nightmare, he knew they all needed to sleep.

Exchanging a look with Crutchie, his little brother had come to the same conclusion.

”So, we just stayin’ up all night?” Crutchie asked loudly, apparently directing it at _all_ of their friends.

As some of their previous sleepovers had made clear, that this group was definitely _capable_ of staying up all night, but that didn’t mean they _should_.

When no one responded, it became clear that he hadn’t directed it at all of them.

It was up to Jack to make the others take care of themselves yet again.

He shook his head, “Nah. We ain’t stayin’ up all night. Everybody brushed their teeth? Everybody ready for bed?”

”Yes, _dad_ ,” Smalls called, making a few of the others snicker.

Jack really _didn’t_ want to sleep, but then again, as multiple people he loved had pointed out, he never had been good at doing things for himself.

He could feel all of their eyes on him, but he was most aware of Davey’s watching him from his right.

”Well, I’m goin’ to sleep, so keep the volume down a bit.”

Jack laid down, pulling his sleeping bag up to keep out the chill of the theater, and just like he’d expected, he heard some of the others turning in, too.

Fixated as his brain was on one thing, Jack noticed when Davey settled down next to him with a sigh.

Odd as it was, that made him feel a little safer about going to sleep.

Jack _was_ tired. His mind was terrified to sleep, but his body was exhausted enough that he definitely needed it.

Weirdly, though, he _couldn’t_ sleep. He was just laying awake with his eyes closed.

It must have been that some of the others were still up and making noise, because once they were _all_ quiet, Jack could finally fall asleep.

...

_Spot was stewing in anger as they walked back from the command center, and Jack didn’t blame him._

_After all, Jack had thought he’d already completely shut down, but apparently he’d had some good feelings left that had just been crushed.  
_

_What would Davey do?_

_Jack didn’t know anymore. He’d kept everyone he could alive these past couple months by asking himself what his lover would do at every turn._

_He had no idea what Davey would do about this. They were pinned down and no one was coming to save them, and they only had two options._

_They could stick it out and make things a little easier for another unit later, or they could run away, the other unit would get massacred, and the remaining Newsies would die another day._

_Davey would hate this choice. The choice of getting everyone they loved killed today, or getting hundreds of strangers killed because they saved themselves._

_The only answer here was that Jack couldn’t make this choice for anyone but himself. He would stay and kill as many Germans as he could... and hope everyone else chose to leave._

_Who was he kidding? Half these kids were just as broken as he was and he knew they would choose to stay._

_They weren’t kids anymore. Jack really needed to work on remembering that._

_”They’re back!” he heard Elmer shout as they neared the trench, Spot making a beeline for Race._

_There were so few of them left._

_There was Blink and Mush, Albert and Finch, Specs and Romeo and Race and Spot. There was Elmer, Smalls, Henry, and Katherine._ _And thank_ God _Les was still with them. Jack couldn’t help but hug him, the last Jacobs sibling and the youngest left._

_Everyone else was gone._

_Everyone else had been taken from them, and it had taken its toll on each of those left._

_”So?” Finch asked, still a last bit of hope left._

_Jack remembered Waffles telling him once that being a leader was about saving as many people as you could. Saving their lives, saving their innocence, saving their happiness, if you could._

_It looked like Jack had failed on all three._

_“Nobody’s comin’. We’s on our own.”_

_Any amount of hope left on the others’ faces was gone. It was like the air had been sucked from the trench._

_Jack couldn’t breathe, but he explained, anyway._

_”There’s a window that closes in half an hour,” he said, “We could get out, before they surrounded up, maybe. But they’s on their way to go fight the 202nd a few miles west from here. They get there, they’ll outnumber ‘em 4 to 1. The 202nd won’t stand a chance.”_

_Jack didn’t even know why he cared. Those men over there weren’t his._

_But if he could leave them a few less German soldiers to deal with, maybe more of them would survive._

_He hoped the others would let him do that alone, but... this was a choice he had to let them make, themselves. It was what Davey would do._

_“You all can go if ya want,” he muttered, “But I’m stayin’ to take out as many of those bastards as I can before they get to our allies. We have the high ground here. We can probably kill enough of ‘em to give the 202nd a fightin’ chance.”_

_Jack took a deep breath. He kind of wished he hadn’t said that last part._

_”But I ain’t askin’ ya to do that. In fact, I wish like hell I could just send all you’s back to New York where nobody can hurt you, but I can’t make that choice for ya, either. If ya want to say, you’re welcome to. If ya want to live... no one’ll blame you.”_

_Jack didn’t have anything left to say. If he tried, he was pretty sure he would throw up._

_He had no more smiles left to give them, no more hope. No more attempts to make light of a terrible situation._

_He squeezed Les one last time before letting go, picking up his gun and standing at ready._

_There was a choked-off cry from Specs where Smalls was tending to a bullet wound in his leg, and Jack hoped foolishly that it was because they were going to run._

_”I’m not leaving.”_

_Kath Plumber. One of the strongest people of all time. Jack should’ve known she would never run from danger._

_She was offering him her hand, but Jack couldn’t take it. If he moved from this spot, he had a feeling he would lose all control.  
_

_Katherine was as good as a sister to him. He didn’t want to see her die._

_Kath squeezed his shoulder before turning to focus on the valley. The coming fight._

_”Guess I’ll see you all on the other side, wherever that may be.”_

_No. No, God, no, not Race.  
_

_But Jack couldn’t stop him. All he could do was stay as strong as he could as his friend’s shoulder pressed into his._

_One of his oldest friends. The closest thing he had to a baby brother._

Shit _, Jack didn’t want to see him die, either._

_He didn’t want to see any of them die. Not even Spot, who’d been his rival throughout their teen years.  
_

_Jack had thought he couldn’t feel any worse than he already did._

_He definitely felt worse, feeling Les squeeze into the line, between him and Katherine.  
_

_God,_ none _of them were leaving. This was something out of Jack’s worst nightmares._

_No. He’d never had a nightmare this bad. Not even close._

_This was hell. This was Jack’s own personal hell._

_His heartbeat was in his ears as what seemed like hours passed with no activity.  
_

_Then one soldier—a scout—came out of the mist in the valley._

_Jack had always been a good shot, and the man was dead before he saw them._

_The rest of the enemy army wasn’t far behind._

_“Wait till they’re in range,” Jack ordered, ”Don’t waste your bullets when you ain’t gonna hit anythin’.”_

_The others did as they were told, waiting and watching._

_Jack wished he could say he was panicking as the rest of the force came into view. There were so many of them._

_But Jack was numb and dead inside. Everything he had left to lose was right here, and he would not be able to save them.  
_

_Well, almost everything. For the millionth time in the last few months, Jack found himself glad that Crutchie wasn’t fit to fight in a war._

_He didn’t even jump when three shots went off in rapid succession, Finch’s aim as true as it always was._

_The Germans were breaking ranks, trying to figure out where the shots were coming from as the former Newsies rained fire on them. They went down easily, without a fight, because this trench was dug to be hidden, halfway up the hill and at a nearly invisible angle from below._

_Unfortunately, someone spotted them eventually._

_They knew where to shoot, now._

_“It’s now or never!” Katherine yelled._

_”Keep shooting!” Jack shouted, “Keep shooting for Sniper and Hotshot! For. Mike and Ike! For Jojo and Tommy Boy! For Buttons and Scarf and Sarah and_ Davey _!”_

_His voice was breaking and he couldn’t control it._

_Jack wasn’t sure if he was angry or terrified or anguished. He couldn’t tell if he was numb or feeling so much that everything was cancelling out._

_He would be seeing Davey again soon, but he wished the few of his kids still left didn’t have to._

_Tunnel-visioned, Jack kept shooting, not paying attention to anything around him for once. He had to focus on killing instead of caring or he would break down when he most needed to be strong._

_Somehow, this was working. They were pushing back a force several times their size, and... and the Germans were retreating?  
_

_”What?” Romeo snarled, “The cowards get enough?”_

_Romeo sounded downright murderous. That... wasn’t like him._

_Oh no. Oh, God, no. So that was why he was so upset._

_Jack couldn’t tell if Specs was dead yet or just seriously injured, but Henry was definitely already gone. Jack hadn’t even seen him fall._

_And the Germans were out of range._

_“This ain’t over yet,” he muttered, lowering his gun, “It can’t be.”  
_

_Katherine looked up suddenly, panic on her face, “It isn’t.”_

_She’d spent less time on the battlefield than the rest of them, so Jack wasn’t sure what she was hearing, but..._

_A dull buzz in the distance, getting closer and closer._

_“Bombers,” Les realized._

_Jack laughed harshly, “Oh, so they can’t kill us in a fair fight, so’s they turn to their pilot friends? That’s just fuckin’ great.”_

_Jack hadn’t even known he’d been holding onto a little bit of leftover hope that maybe_ some _of them could make it home after this._

_Some of them_ needed _to get home. Mayer and Esther were waiting for Les. Spot and Race had a girl they’d practically raised together. Specs and Romeo’s little boy was a Newsie, now, waiting for a headline saying they were coming home to him._

_Jack didn’t know if he would have been able to live without Davey, but he wished he could’ve said goodbye to Crutchie._

_Hope was gone now._

_”Davey would have said this wasn’t technically a fair fight,” he said quietly, “With how we gots the high ground and a hidden trench.”_

_Race’s laugh was clearly forced, but Blink punched him, anyway. Just like old times._

_Jack wondered if Davey would be happy to see him, or if he’d call him an idiot for coming to join him so soon._

_He wondered if Sarah would be happy to see Katherine and Sniper would be happy to see Smalls. If Buttons would have the confidence to tell Elmer he loved him in the afterlife. If Jojo and Ike’s broken hearts had been healed, being reunited with their lost loves._

_If Tommy Boy was greeting Henry, all the others helping welcome him home.  
_

_The plane engines were getting closer. Jack guessed he wouldn’t have to wait much longer to find out._

_“Who’s gonna write Crutchie,” Finch asked suddenly, “Tell him ‘bout us?”  
_

_Oh, Crutchie. He would be left alone, the last of the 1899 Manhattan strikers._

_Jack wished again that he could say goodbye._

_”I put him down as my brother on my enlistment form,” he said as quiet as he could and still be heard, “They couldn’t prove he wasn’t, so... when he gets the news ‘bout me, he’ll... he’ll know I wouldn’t...”_

_He’d know Jack wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t stop trying, wouldn’t_ let _himself die until everyone else under his protection was already gone._

_The last ones left were about to die, and Jack could not save them._

_They were all saying their goodbyes to each other, those with partners left. Smalls and Elmer sat together holding hands, already left behind._

_Jack didn’t notice Katherine was so close to him until she was grabbing his arm, speaking urgently._

_”You tried your best,” she said, her voice breaking, “We all did, Jack.”_

_Jack squeezed her hand, “I know.”_

_He didn’t realize how close he was to tears until he was already crying, and for once, he couldn’t bring himself to stop it._

_Les didn’t argue for once when Jack held out his free hand, letting himself be pulled in and held like a scared child._

_He’d grown up so much, but not enough to be unafraid in the face of death.  
_

_Goddammit, Jack was terrified, too._

_”Close your eyes,” he whispered to Kath and Les, holding them tight as the roar of the engines became deafening._

_Jack didn’t close his eyes. He was sobbing uncontrollably, but he kept his eyes open, needing to get one last look at the few of his kids left._

_Henry, who was already gone, but was one of the wittiest of them._

_Romeo, the one with the biggest heart and the funniest mind._

_Specs, a constant friend since they were 10, smart and sarcastic._

_Elmer, who’s sunshine smile had been taken away weeks ago._

_Blink, so defensive and angry at the world and so full of love inside.  
_

_Mush, who’s strength was only rivaled by his loving heart._

_Smalls, her stature never affecting her defiant, fierce nature._

_Albert, who used sarcasm as armor and let few people see him without it._

_Finch, with the best aim and the logical mind and the broken parts inside._

_Spot, who wasn’t Jack’s, but was one of them, now, all the same, his strength inside and out._

_Race. Sarcastic, eccentric Race. The person here who’d known Jack the longest. The compassionate, charismatic leader who never let the others forget there was good in the world._

_Jack wished he had more time to... to what? Get them to safety? They wouldn’t be happy if he did. They would carry the losses they’d suffered to the end of their lives and those wounds would never heal._

_They were hurting as much as Jack was, and maybe sparing them that was better._

_Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t have an option that would save them, because Jack wouldn’t know what to do._

_He didn’t even have time to say goodbye to any of them through his tears before the first of the bombs hit._

_..._

_Jack didn’t know how, but something was_ very _wrong, here._

_He was in the Duane Street Lodging House, but that didn’t feel right. He wasn’t supposed to be there._

_”Hey there, Cowboy.”_

_Something was definitely wrong._

_Waffles died when Jack was 14._

_Was he 14 again, somehow? He didn’t remember being this short when he..._

_Oh, shit. Was Jack dead?_

_”It’s confusin’, at first,” Waffles said gently, “But, this is where you wanna be most. Otherwise, ya wouldn’t be here.”_

_”Am I...” Jack took a deep breath, “Are the nuns wrong ‘bout God hatin’ queers, then?”_

_Waffles shrugged, “I dunno ‘bout the big guy’s policy on queers, but I know we don’t care here in Manhattan.”_

_”I’m—“_

_”Confused?”_

_Waffles laughed as he sat down on a bunk and motioned for Jack to do the same._

_Despite the fact that he_ was _very confused, he trusted his mentor enough to sit next to him._

_”I’m confused, too, kiddo,” he admitted, “The big guy told me somethin’ odd. Somethin’ I gotta tell_ you _. Apparently it’s only happened a few times before, but... your story didn’t end the way it was supposed to.”_

_”What?”_

_”Ya died before your time. Left things unfinished in a way that wasn’t meant to be.”_

_Jack didn’t even know what to think of that. He was so very confused._

_Waffles smiled sadly, “To sum up the point, this place’ll be waitin’ for ya when you’re ready, but it’s not yours yet. Not if you don’t want it right now.”_

_”What do ya mean ‘right now?’” Jack asked, “I’m dead, right?”_

_”Right,” Waffles agreed, “But ya don’t have to stay that way.“_

_”I’m sorry,_ what _?”_

_“If you want a second chance at a happy ending to your story, you can have it. It wouldn’t be a guarantee, but it’d be a chance. It’s just...”_

_Jack didn’t like seeing him so sad. It made him look too much like he had right before he died._

_“What?” he asked, because the silence was uncomfortable._

_”You died young,” Waffles said quietly, “Like me. I never wanted that for you. Or Race, or Smalls... or any of you.”_

_”Crutchie,” Jack said, remembering suddenly, “Did he-is he..?”_

_”He died a few minutes ago,” Waffles said quickly, “A very old man surrounded by his students—he became a teacher later in life.”_

_“What—“_

_”You’s been... asleep,” Waffles explained, “For a long time, Cowboy. Crutchie got to live a very long life, maybe to make up for how the rest of ya didn’t. And the fact that he’s finally passed is why you’re here now—‘cause you can’t have a chance at happiness without the people ya love.”_

_”What do ya mean?” Jack asked, “We’re dead.”_

_”I see your listenin’ skills ain’t improved since I’s been gone.”_

_”Sorry.”  
_

_Waffles just laughed, “What I’m tryin’ to say is you’s got a chance to live again. Only this time, you’s got a better chance at livin’ to a full one.”_

_Jack was still very confused, but his mind started slowly piecing together what his mentor was actually saying._

_He had a chance now because Crutchie was dead, and if he was the only one of them to live to a full life..._

_”Would the others be there?”_

_”That’s up to them. If they choose it, yes, but they can’t get the choice till you make yours. You’s their leader, after all.”_

_”It’s my job to take risks first,” Jack muttered._

_”Exactly,” Waffles agreed, before putting a hand on Jack’s shoulder, his smile turning more like a grimace, “I’m sorry for leavin’ ya that kind of responsibility so early. I didn’t mean to.”_

_”I don’t regret any of it,” Jack said, and he was surprised to realize he meant it._

_Sure, being a leader hadn’t been easy, but it had given Jack a family like no other. One he probably wouldn’t have gotten otherwise._

_It had lead him to someone... someone wonderful who he probably wouldn’t have met otherwise._

_”Davey. Would he be there if I chose a second chance?”_

_Waffles shrugged, “That’s as much up to him as it is the others.”_

_Davey... Jack didn’t know what he would choose._

_But if he gave him the option... maybe it would turn out better this time. Maybe they would get a happy ending this way. A life the way they_ _wanted it._

_Jack had to have faith in Davey—and all the others—to choose the way he did. He had to hope they would take this chance._

_“Will you be there?”_

_His mentor’s smile was sad enough that Jack knew the answer before he even said it, and he returned the hug he knew was a goodbye._

_”My story’s over, Cowboy. And it didn’t end happy, but I already made my choice. I’m happy here. And I’ll still be here when you’re done.”_

_”So, you and that Brooklyn girl..?”_

_Waffles laughed, “I take it you’s takin’ your second chance?”_

_”That wasn’t an answer, asshole! What was her name again?”_

_”She is...none of your business,” Waffles smirked, patting him on the shoulder, “I’ll tell ya next time, Jack.”  
_

_”Oh, come on, that ain’t—“_

_..._

Jack woke up to a loud noise, and it took him a second to realize it was _him_ who yelped.

“Holy _shit,”_ Tommy Boy breathed, voicing what Jack was pretty sure they all were feeling right now.

He remembered _everything_. New York. 1899. Europe. 1917.

And Waffles, Not-New York, 2003, explaining to him that they could try again.

God, they had _all_ taken that second chance. Just like Jack had hoped, but he had known it was unrealistic.

But they’d _all_ taken the offer back in 2003 after Crutchie died.

He’d died the day before Jack was born again.

That realization had them all freaked out enough that none of them were talking or moving, and... and Jack had to admit that he didn’t know what to _say_.

How _did_ you bring up the fact that you’d fought and died alongside the people in this room? Most of them, anyway. How did you deal with all this without getting overwhelmed?

”Oh, shit,” Davey said suddenly, “I need to text Les. If he just saw what I just—“

”Dave...”

Davey froze when Jack choked out the name.

God, it had been _so_ long.

He’d watched Davey die a century ago and he hadn’t even known it and—

And Davey was staring at him halfway between haunted and in awe, looking up from his phone.

”Oh, God, Jackie...”

Jack couldn’t help himself from lunging across the space separating them to kiss the boy he’d loved for over a hundred years.

Davey responded immediately, kissing him back, but keeping it short.

Jack understood. Les was only a kid now, for God’s sake. If he was remembering _dying_ in World War I right now, he needed Davey more than Jack did.

”I missed you, love,” he whispered, trying to smile and trying _not_ to cry.

”I didn’t even know what I was missing,” Davey admitted, not looking up from his phone, “But I... I never stopped loving you, Jackie. Not even when I didn’t remember you existed.”

”How does that make sense?”

”It doesn’t. Not everything has to.”

”And here I thought you was the logical one.”

“I _am_ ,” Davey pointed out.

Jack laughed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. They’d been instinctually getting back to their normal, these last couple weeks, but there was something beautiful and nostalgic and sad about their normal banter when they could remember where they’d gotten it from.

God, he’d missed Davey when he didn’t remember him, too, hadn’t he? His best friend, his Santa Fe, his moon, his everything. Lost and found again.

Their family all around them, a little freaked out but safe and together and _alive_.

“I missed you all _so much_.”

Jack froze for half a second, realizing that Crutchie was _crying_.

Crutchie _never_ cried. Jack hadn’t seen him cry since... damn, it must have been 1889 or something.

He put on a smile so that others wouldn’t see that he wasn’t all optimism and positivity. He’d always done that. He never let even Jack see when he wasn’t _feeling_ positive, whether they were on a stage in the 21st century or a roof in the late 19th.

It was something Jack did, to some extent, and Race, too, a little, but Crutchie did it better than either of them.

His legal little brothers in this lifetime. Two of them, anyway.

Remembering who they were now combined with who they were before, Jack moved to grab Crutchie with one arm and Race with the other to pull them in for a long-overdue hug, adding Romeo when he came over.

For a short, sweet moment, Jack had nothing to worry about besides the three in his arms, and they were all safe, so he felt safe, too.

Then Spot said Race’s name in a haunted kind of way.

They really had been in love before, in a wild, reckless way that was the only kind of love story Racetrack Higgins could possibly be a part of.

Spot had saved Race more times than Jack had ever managed it, so he couldn’t possibly disapprove of him.

He let Race go to him, and Romeo go back to Specs.

Not willing to let Crutchie go again when he’d already left him behind once before, Jack kept him close as he went back to _his_ love.

“Hey, Davey.”

Davey laughed through tears, looking up from his phone to pull him in for a quick hug.

“Hey, Crutchie. Good to see ya.”

”How’s Les?” Jack asked.

Davey sighed, “Scared. He’s just a _kid_ and he’s remembering that he died horribly at age 28. I’m gonna have to go and—“

”No,” Sarah interrupted, “The others need you and Jack. They need me and Kath less. We’ll go get him.”

Katherine was already standing and holding out a hand for Sarah, “We’ll get him.”

The two of them looked distressed, too, remembering their lives and deaths, but Jack guessed he could understand not wanting to process or talk about that right now. Neither of them had ever been huge sharers of feelings. Not with him, anyway.

And he couldn’t even imagine how weird this must be for them. This Kath and Sarah had met _today_ , and now they were remembering they’d been in love? That was not a situation Jack envied.

Davey nodded, “Okay. Yeah, you’re right, Saz. The others are... just as freaked out as Les.”

“I’ll get him, Davey.”

” _We_ will,” Kath corrected, and as much as Jack didn’t like the idea of letting them out of his sight, he knew it was best to let them go get the youngest of them.

Davey grabbed his hand and and squeezed gently, “You wanna be the one to talk to the others?”

Jack tilted his head in confusion, ”Why?”

”That’s how we started things,” he said simply, smiling, “You tellin’ the others it’d be okay when they were scared, right?”

It was, wasn’t it? And Davey had been there right at his side that time, too.

God, they’d been apart _so long_.

”Hey, hey, Jackie,” Davey reached out to wipe a tear off his face, “It’s okay. We’re safe now.”

They were safe. That was what the others needed to hear to know that everything would be okay.

This—their memories from their first round—complicated everything.

But they were together, they could love who they wanted without fear, and they were all _alive_.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Jack called, trying not to cry with all the others’ eyes on him, “We’re safe now.”

Somehow, terrifying and confusing and relieving as this was, he believed it.


End file.
